Snowy Day in November

I am one of those crazy runners, no matter what the weather (for the most part) I'm still out there getting my miles in.  Today was no exception because it was snowing.  I wasn't missing this one, I was going for my run.  I love running in the snow, from Lake effect living in Cleveland, to Nor'easters living in Swampscott Mass to the OH MY GOD we got 1 inch of Winston Salem, NC.  On Beech Mountain the snow started at midnight, I just sat at the window watching the fat, wet, flakes come down.

I waited until the temperature got closer to above freezing, then put on my layers and made it out into the snow.  There is nothing like it.

Everything is quieter when running in the snow.  Even your footsteps are muffled.
Everything looks cleaner when covered in white, today the snow clung to all the branches of the trees making them look like tall snowmen.
There is a peace in running outside your element, in changing your gate because you are slipping a little bit, and pulling off the gator taking a deep breath of the cold, moist air.

I found gratitude in this run because as my feet hit the trail, I thought of those who could not run.  I thought of a few Thanksgivings back when I wondered why my mother couldn't keep up on our "walks" like she used to, both of us trudging through the snow.  She had surgery two weeks later finding out there was a brain tumor, so yes, her gate had changed, she was dragging a foot.  I remember talking during that walk, about nothing in particular, but the snow made our conversation sound like the only thing on that street, muffling out all the normal noises so we just heard each other.    We walked the morning before the busy Thanksgiving holiday, enjoying the quiet, the solitude of doing what everyone else in the house thought was crazy.

As I started up my hill, I thought about how thankful I am for my health.  That I can get out in the craziest of weather and still exercise and love it.  That I may be getting older and much of my times are getting slower, but I am moving to the point of just getting out there means I won.

My thoughtful gratitude was interrupted when a pickup truck slowed down and stopped next to me as I was climbing the hill.

"Are you all right?"  A little old man asked from the pickup truck.
I look at him, "Yes, I'm just running."

And it occurred to me that either I was:
A.  Crazy for running out in this weather, or
B.  I really did look that bad running up that hill.

It's the Little Things In Life

Saturday, and there are too many things we COULD do.  But there are a few little things that we DO do, it's the little things that matter.



The refrigerator light - it helps me find the olives in the back of the fridge so my vodka doesn't get lonely.

A walk for a dog - they don't care that it's around the block for the 19675th time, it's a walk for the dog.

Money in the laundry pockets or freshly laundered money - what Momma finds, Momma keeps!

A good run - not long, not hard, but simply good.

Standing in the middle of the woods by yourself - who cares if anyone hears the trees - as a Mom you are standing by yourself in the middle of the woods!

Reading a good romance novel - especially THAT part when you are by yourself with chocolate and a cup of coffee, oh wait, that never happens.  Reading a romance novel that is.

When everyone falls asleep early - and you ARE alone with that romance novel and that cup of coffee.

Forgetting you bought chocolate at the store then pulling it out of the bag.

Waking up later in the morning than expected - then running to check if your children are still alive --- and they are.

Find the right spot.  And sticking with it.

Realizing at the end of a day that you did absolutely nothing - and not regretting it.

Hitting the perfect place in a novel - either writing it or reading it - when you forget everything except the words on the page.

Exact change in your car when you are buying something off the dollar menu at a fast food joint.

It's the little things in life that when put together add up to some pretty big things.  Take some time with the little things like telling the people you love them, saying thank you, and sitting quietly with a cup of coffee and that romance novel.

What would you add to the list?

Ten Secrets to a Happy Marriage - Husband/Wife Edition

Today I celebrate 26 years with a great man who loves me, puts up with all of my crap AND still smiles at me every morning.  How do we do it?  Easy.....



For the Husband:

1.  Don't worry about your socks matching, especially as she gets on in years and can't even see them as she matches them, no one looks at your socks anyway.

2.  The bra hanging on the door knob - she's just reminding you that she's still got it - don't mention it needs a little more underwire than the youthful days.

3.  Dinner is anyway you see it - that burnt food after 26 years - it's just extra flavoring.

4.  There is no perfect way to parent a child - and sometimes duct tape can help you have a casual conversation with your wife.

5.  Say I love you every single day, especially when she asks, "Do I look fat in these jeans?"

For the Wife:

1.  No, you do not look fat in those jeans, and he knows any way he tries to say it will not come out right, just accept the "I love you" and smile.

2.  Great motto for life - always keep your fights on the clean side, and what you do in the bedroom on the dirty side.

3.  He still wants you after watching you give birth, gain then shed 50 lbs AND when you color your hair - you got a good one.

4.  Pick you arguments, the ones that don't matter just smile sweetly and keep what you are saying in your head, in your head.

5.  Starting off and then doing the work to stay friends.  You can tell your friend anything, but if they are married to you you can tell them anything AND they still love you anyway!

Happy Anniversary to my best friend, someone I've been with longer than I've been alone - and that's a good thing.  A lot of people call marriage a work of art - ours will be a masterpiece.

How to be happy-----really.....

How to stay happy.  That Grey Area style.....

Spend one hour reading through Facebook - you'll soon realize your life is a heck of a lot better than everyone elses.

Don't worry the small stuff unless you are tripping over it on the floor.

Take some "me" time for yourself - usually with a nice glass of red or white or small shot.

Eat Healthy - always tell yourself that Chocolate cake IS healthy - it has eggs, milk - SEE?

Watch what you drink - if you spill it then there is less for you.

Get outside and get some exercise - it is the only time you can really get away from them.  Really.

Live in the moment - going into the past makes you think of all your parenting fails, and going forward moves you into-----teenagers!  Both of which suck the joy out of the moment.

Lie in the grass and stare at the sky - the rest of the family will think you are dead and not bother you.

Open the refrigerator and sweep everything out and into the trash.  You'll feel liberated that you don't have to open that container hidden in the back for the past year.

If you really want to get away to a safe place?  Hide in the laundry room, no one will find you there because you are the only one that really knows it exists.

Remember happiness is not found anywhere except in your mind.  (OK, sometimes in a bottle especially if it is a Magnum, but I digress) so plan on being happy and you know what, eventually you will be!

How do you find happiness?

It's Friday....Family Fun? NOT!

Ever wonder why parents always talk about drinking wine?  Here's envision vs reality of Friday Night Family Activities:

Spend a family night watching movies - reality - spending the night starting to watch several movies on Netflix before moving on because they are really bad.  Realization - there are a lot of BAD movies on Netflix.

Game Night with the Family - get out the old favorites and play Monopoly with popcorn and sodas.  Reality - a bottle of wine for Mom and another one for Dad as the kids start arguing over who gets what Monopoly piece and way.  Ending game night in the bathroom nursing a bleeding cut from one child throwing his houses at his brother for bankrupting him.

Go out to a nice dinner with the family - enjoy quality conversation with the family on a beautiful evening out.  Reality - arguing with one that he cannot order the Filet Mignon off the adult menu while convincing the second that a dinner of crackers and soda is actually pretty healthy.  Saving enough money this way to order a bottle of wine for Mom and Dad.

Campfire Cookout - outside evening relaxing while listening to nature.  Reality - fight over who gets to light the fire.  Leave hubby to do this deed, him and boys come back with partial eyebrows missing.  Evening spent sitting in the perfect spot for the smoke of the fire to continually hit you in the face, while a child argues with another continuously looking like someone will fall face first into the fire.

Arts and Crafts Night - create beautiful projects to give as gifts for grandmothers and grandfathers.  Reality - painting Inspector Clouseau moustache on your face is not funny.  Painting the dog, not even funny.  Spilling the paint, walking through it then walking through the house - definitely not funny.

Make A Home Movie - create a memory of the fun your family has making a home movie.  Reality - disgusted halfway through because all they want to do is smack their butts in front of the camera.  Then giving up when all they want to do is the Harlem Shake.  Tell them not to keep filming you drinking wine, you'd rather not have that in your memory.

Family Reading Night - sit and enjoy a good book, reading aloud to the family.  Reality - no one wants to sit quietly while you read a book, so they ask questions with every sentence so you get to a point where even you are not sure what you are reading.  To tell your friends that you actually achieved reading night - give them comics - heck, at least they are reading.

So I guess I look forward to Friday because it's one night where I can justify drinking wine - and as a good Mom, at least give a few of these the college try.  Will make any family activity that much easier.

Happy Friday!

Happy Birthday - I feel old...

My son turns 12 today, twelve, yep, that means that he's been on this Earth for twelve years.  How do I know that?

1.  He's shot up in height, I've sunk down.

2.  He has a six pack, I've got a litre bottle sitting there.

3.  All of his teeth have not fallen out, I'm glad I still have all of mine.

4.  His hair grows faster than I can cut it, mine falls out faster than I can color it.

5.  His birthday breakfast is bacon and eggs with a side of doughnuts, mine is one, yes, one single blueberry for its antioxidants.

6.  He can down an entire box of cereal in one sitting, I can add 1 pound of flab to my thighs by looking at said box of cereal.

7.  He can sleep through a nuclear fall out, I lie awake wondering if that really is a spider crawling across the floor.

8.  He grows out of his shorts in just a few months, I grow out of my spandex in just a few meals.

9.  Everything in his body is just getting started, mine is in the overheated stage.

10.  He's excited about getting a year older, I've quit aging at 21 plus change.

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Some of my favorite ways to piss people off...

Don't you just love pissing people off?  Sometimes when I have a day where everyone and everything is pissing me off, it's fun to go out and piss other people off.  Here's a few favorites:

I love to get in the fast lane and do the speed limit.  I mean it is the fast lane and if the speed limit is 55, isn't 55 the fastest you can go?  Then I mouth, "The speed limit is 55," as they roar past me in the slow lane.



Sit and wait for 10 minutes in my car in a parking lot with a car behind me.  Then wave to some nonexistent person and drive off.

Stand in express line at the grocery store and act like I am counting items in everyone's cart.  Then make sure I have over 25 items when I check out.

Roll down my window in my car and yell at the guy honking behind me, "Jeez, let me finish my text!"

Telling my kids "No," when they say, "Can I tell you something."

Telling my kids, "Hi Hungry," when they tell me they are hungry.  Then they say, "I'm mad," and I reply, "I thought you were hungry."

Tell someone I don't know that she really is glowing with the aura of pregnancy.

Wait until I see someone going for that last cantelope, then grab it before she gets there, then smile at her.

Don't use my turn signal, then wave and mouth, "Love you," to the guy flipping me the bird.

Explain that my little dog's poop is the same size as all the goose poop that litters my neighbor's yard.

Say to my friends, "Can I ask you a serious question?"  Then say, "Never mind, it's not important anyway."

What are you thankful for?

Things I am Thankful for on Thanksgiving

1. I don’t have to get up and walk to the TV to change the channel anymore.
2. I never had to walk two miles in the snow, EVER, to get to school, especially barefoot and uphill.
3. That Twinkies may have another chance
4. My phone is not attached to a wall.
5. My encyclopedia is now the internet
6. That I can throw away a dirty diaper
7. Stretchy Jeans
8. It only takes 3 minutes in the microwave to make popcorn
9. I didn’t have to sing 1000 bottles of beer on the wall during out 7 hour car ride
10. Spray on suntan lotion - except on that windy day.

How do you handle old girlfriends?

My children have the routing gene - passed down from me.  My grandmother used to call me her router, I loved to go through boxes in the attic, drawers of costume jewelry in her bedroom looking of treasures.  The boys know their treasure trove is in the boat garage, boxed up and waiting for them.  They pulled out old Piedmont Airlines memorabilia - note cubes, eye glass cleaners, T-shirts.  Then they found a box of letters,  yellowing papers, faded pen, judging from the neatness, from a girl.

"Dear Jeff:  Why haven't you called me?  You said our love would last forever, but now every time I see you with Tammy I can't stand it....."

The boys start laughing, I look over at Jeff and there's a hint of blush as he says, "What?  Where did they come from?"

"Jeff:  Ever since I started working at the Western Sizzling, I'm glad we've become friends, I hope we can be more than friends."

They are letters from girls from his teenage years, love letters replying to letters he wrote to them.

"Jeff, remember when it snowed?  I loved what we did out in the snow."

Jeff looks at me laughing, "Jeez!"

The boys keep reading and I smile.  The letters are funny (when did it really snow in Winston) and sad (why didn't he call her back) but they are "pre-me."  I look at the boys and say, "See, Daddy was one hot dude, all the girls loved him.  I was lucky enough to get him."

He smiles at me as they read the one passage that makes us all laugh, "Jeff remember when you wrote on a note to me, 'Do you have any love left?  Well heat it up because I LOVE leftovers."  I didn't get the leftovers, I got the main course!

What would you do if love letters from the past resurfaced?

How to clean a microwave....

This blog is prefaced with a very sarcastic story that involved pudding mix, lots of milk and the idea that if you double the time in the microwave then it will take lest time to complete making the pudding.  Chocolate pudding that is, with something red, oh wait, that was blood, but I'll move past that other part of the story.

Rather than getting out the blow torch and the chisel, especially if you've got a work microwave, there is a very easy way to clean the microwave.  Put a small dog in there and they will have it cleaned out in no time, no elbow grease needed.  Of course make sure you keep the door open, really, I'm just kidding.

Take a bowl of water and put it in the microwave for 5 minutes, this will create enough steam to loosen any foreign objects in the microwave.  Simply wipe down the inside of all gunk and grime and your microwave will shine line new!

Sure there's a little dog that's mighty dissapointed but the clean microwave in a matter of minutes is worth it!  Happy Cleaning (slight sarcasm intended here)!!

How to Be In A Good Mood....

No, I'm not talking about the honey, I'm not in the mood kind of mood, but a good mood.  2011 is already here and probably you like most people out there have started your year off with a bang!  Wonderful resolutions, a beautiful peaceful New Years Day full of hope and promise, then BANG here comes monday it's hit the ground running.  Maybe someone hasn't paid their rent, maybe your boss is on your case, maybe the kids are complaining of all kinds of ailments because they don't want to go to school, you sit and wonder what happened to that hope and promise?  What happened to that mood?

It's there waiting again for you, all you have to do is take it.  That's it another simple, how to be in a good mood.  Simply pretend you are in a good mood and everything's all right and you know what, pretty soon it will be!  Happiness attracts other happy influences and people, unhappiness attracts the same.  So why spend your energy complaing about the first work week of 2011 when you can spend that time with a smile on your face and watch as it spreads from there to your mind, body and SOUL!

Be happy, simple.  Take a breath when that dark cloud descends, think about how many blessings are right there in front of you.  Think about others and the problems they've shared with you, sure no one's perfect but if you really think about it, you've got it pretty good.  Now put a smile on your face, even if it is not real and hit the day head on, pretty soon that smile will BE REAL.

Pretend you are happy and eventually you will be happy.  Your attitude affects those around you, that's how the system works, put some extra cards in your favor by being happy and enjoy the rest of your day!

What do you do when there's a bad mood brewing?  What's your way out of the dumps?