Some of my favorite ways to piss people off...

Don't you just love pissing people off?  Sometimes when I have a day where everyone and everything is pissing me off, it's fun to go out and piss other people off.  Here's a few favorites:

I love to get in the fast lane and do the speed limit.  I mean it is the fast lane and if the speed limit is 55, isn't 55 the fastest you can go?  Then I mouth, "The speed limit is 55," as they roar past me in the slow lane.



Sit and wait for 10 minutes in my car in a parking lot with a car behind me.  Then wave to some nonexistent person and drive off.

Stand in express line at the grocery store and act like I am counting items in everyone's cart.  Then make sure I have over 25 items when I check out.

Roll down my window in my car and yell at the guy honking behind me, "Jeez, let me finish my text!"

Telling my kids "No," when they say, "Can I tell you something."

Telling my kids, "Hi Hungry," when they tell me they are hungry.  Then they say, "I'm mad," and I reply, "I thought you were hungry."

Tell someone I don't know that she really is glowing with the aura of pregnancy.

Wait until I see someone going for that last cantelope, then grab it before she gets there, then smile at her.

Don't use my turn signal, then wave and mouth, "Love you," to the guy flipping me the bird.

Explain that my little dog's poop is the same size as all the goose poop that litters my neighbor's yard.

Say to my friends, "Can I ask you a serious question?"  Then say, "Never mind, it's not important anyway."