During the drive to airport, we get a little turned around. Usually when you are lost, children will immediately start asking stupid questions as you are trying to figure out the GPS, listen to Rolf of Google Maps tell you that you are lost and arguing with your seat mate about which direction to take.Didn't the kids in the back notice that you turned Michael Buble all the way down - BECAUSE you don't have time to listen to "I wanna go home," when you are LOST!
It starts with them asking if we are lost, then bugging each other until one of them yells, "STOP!" At which time both parents turn and explain in what they think is the most menacing voice about being lost, needing quiet to think! Does that stop them? What do you think?
Once at the airport, everyone jumps out of the car looking at us. I have to politely explain that I got the body bags up to the car, it is now their job to haul them from the car into the ticket counter. Each takes their own bag, leaving me with 4 communal bags - including my own body bag. Sigh.At the counter, hubby is trying to check us in, the kids are jumping the suitcases. My oldest decides that he wants to "help" Daddy and check us in for the flight. There are wrong buttons pressed, arguments on how many bags, arguments on who is sitting where. Meanwhile I am getting evil looks by the TSA agents waiting for our bags, because a. they are heavy as shit, and b. there are a lot of them and c. someone is going to have to security search them which includes hauling the body bags through X-ray.
The kids push each other through security screening, not to mention the TSA guy pulling a smashed clementine out of my husband's briefcase with my child saying, "Hey, I was saving that for later!" They push each other down the jetway, push each other as they walk to their seats on the plane.
Once on the flight, the kids are excited and cannot sit still, they are moving the seats up and down, which means Jeff and I have no leg room because for some reason the kids got the choice seats and we got the ones that come with a can opener when you try to get out. One child is pressing all the buttons on the other child's TV screen because this is the first plane that has personal TVs and how cool is that in a child's world. Rather how cool is that, in anyone's world, I'm pretty enthralled too, not noticing what the kids are doing until someone presses the flight attendant button above my husband's head. He is reaching between the seats trying to grab someone while the flight attendant asks him what he wants. I thought he was going to say, "Please move me away from these obnoxious kids, who's kids are they anyway?" But he smiles and apologizes, reaching between the seat for anyone once she walks away.
Needless to say when traveling with children, the annoyance of everything they do is increased with the stress of trying to get from point A to Point B. So if you travel with your children, here's a few pointers:Travel light - in our case we couldn't due to snow sports, the less you have to haul around the better your back will feel.
Don't give them any of your electronics - because sitting on the airplane is not the time to find out they changed your ringtone on your phone to "I'm Sexy and I Know It." (Picture my sweet hubby's face on that one)
And try to set your seats at least 3 rows behind them, that way you are not hit in the knees when they "test" how far the seat goes back and you can look at others on the plane and say, "For Pete's Sake, who's kids are those?"
Remember, traveling with children is like childbirth. You'll forget all about it once your finally make it back home again, planning that next trip until your phone starts to sing, "I Like Big Butts And I Cannot Lie" on your next call.
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