1. He's shot up in height, I've sunk down.
2. He has a six pack, I've got a litre bottle sitting there.
3. All of his teeth have not fallen out, I'm glad I still have all of mine.
4. His hair grows faster than I can cut it, mine falls out faster than I can color it.
5. His birthday breakfast is bacon and eggs with a side of doughnuts, mine is one, yes, one single blueberry for its antioxidants.
6. He can down an entire box of cereal in one sitting, I can add 1 pound of flab to my thighs by looking at said box of cereal.
7. He can sleep through a nuclear fall out, I lie awake wondering if that really is a spider crawling across the floor.
8. He grows out of his shorts in just a few months, I grow out of my spandex in just a few meals.
9. Everything in his body is just getting started, mine is in the overheated stage.
10. He's excited about getting a year older, I've quit aging at 21 plus change.
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