How to watch a football game....

With all the playoff games starting, take a minute to make sure you have the optimum viewing area before the game.  This helps you to stay parked on the couch during the game rather than getting up because you forgot something.  Normally, I get lucky in that my husband likes to cook in the kitchen on the weekends, but since he's not here, I'm on my own.

Find the most comfortable seat in the house, take dibs on it with a blanket, a book, your computer, or even take your pants off and lay them there.  Once you have your space set, pull the coffee table close and setup your entertainment delectables.  Beer should go in the twelve o'clock position as you will be reaching for this on a regular basis, the forward and back motion with the arm keeps the elbow at the right angle, relieving tennis elbow from too many side grabs of the brew.  In the 2 oclock position, put the chips, and the 9 oclock position your dip of choice.  Favorites can include, fritos and sour cream and onion, tortillas with a warm queso sauce, or if you're mother is visiting celery and carrots and ranch dressing.    In random spots on the table add paper towels and napkins, for that time when you will take a bite of dip, something will happen and you spit it all over your children.

The TV should be set at the loudest setting, it is always easier to justify getting up to turn the volume down then arguing with everyone that you can't hear the TV.  Once the volume is set, hide the remote so children don't find it and think it's funny to change the channel when the most important part of the game is on! 

Apologize to the family and friends prior to the game, as their wants and needs will disappear with that opening kickoff, they can however during challenges, half time or time outs quickly come in and express their wants and needs, this also includes the "I love yous" from family.  My mother was nick named "Halftime" as my father didn't speak to her until halftime during the big game.

During the game, experiment with changing your setup if your team has trouble on the field, at the first hint of a turn around, keep that setup until they win, even if that means locking grandma in the bathroom because when she went YOUR team scored a touchdown.

This is only three more weekends of the year, explain this to friends and family then settle with your team jersey on and enjoy the show!  What's your setup for the big game?