Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my mother’s birthday, and each year I really miss her more and more. Losing a parent is a loss that lingers, gently reminding in little things during your life-a song, finding a gift they gave you, remembering a trip, dusting off Christmas ornaments. When the memory comes back, it’s a dull ache, sometimes intense when you realize how long you have to wait to see them again.

As a woman, losing my mom makes me learn on my own about growing up and taking care of children. Sure I’ve got a great network of friends always willing to give advice, but there’s a conversation between mother and daughter that is special, daughters know that they can ask their mother ANYTHING. It starts when you are young and your mother starts teaching you about being a girl, explaining more to you as you stand on the threshold of being a woman, to the little things that make a great Mom. I wish I could ask her questions now about behavior, some simple like – was I this messy when I was growing up? Did I obsess the same way over something to the point of nausea? To the more complex type of questions, when did you start to go through The Change? How do you grow old gracefully?

Take some time as your New Year’s Resolution to sit and have a conversation with your mother. We always say talk to your grandparents, those elderly relatives – gain knowledge from them. There’s a special person there ready to talk about those things you may be too embarrassed to talk about, the one to help you be comfortable and provide that guidance in the process. Take out a piece of paper and sit with your mother and remember, ask her simple questions and write down the answers, videotape her answers if she’s comfortable with it, make a pot of coffee and really learn about her as a child, trials and tribulations into adulthood, what it means to be a parent.

There are many questions that pop up now, and I wish I could ask her. Her greatest gifts to me was that she was THE strongest woman I ever knew in my lifetime, so I just tuck those questions away and try every day to be the caring, strong, never give up, wonderful person that she was. Happy Birthday Mom, may your present be someone sitting with their mother and enjoying the bond that is mother/daughter.

What? My HI-C isn't good enough?

This Mom needs some lessons on retaining my sanity. How do you other Moms do it? I mean really how do you do it? I waltzed into my youngest child’s Christmas (oops, Winter snack) party with my grocery bags and the checked items on the list from the “Grade Mom.” She looked at the HI-C with slight disapproval (really? They were on sale and aren’t Christmas , I mean Winter Snack parties all about jacking them up on sugar and letting them lose on the parents. And who put the blue frosted cupcakes over there right next to the big bowl of Hershey’s kisses) then put them to the side. When it came time to pass out the food, she politely told the other Moms, “We can’t serve these juice boxes, they aren’t cold.”

My first thought was that a: this MUST be her first Christmas, I mean Winter Snack party or B: this was her first child or only, I mean single child. The juice box wasn’t cold enough? It sat in the trunk of my car overnight, lady!  My kids sucks these babies down so quick they’d never even know what flavor it was unless reading the box. But, I was not the “Grade Mom” so we put my lukewarm juice boxes over to the side and passed out refreshingly cool Capri Suns. Next came the snack items I was supposed to bring. Again they looked me up and down as I shoved two grocery bags at them, “Chips and Salsa, see that’s what I checked on the Mommy list.” Only then did I realize the other bags all had beautifully decorated bowls for their food, sparkly serving utensils, and the recipe printed out on recipe cards for all the other Moms to take home. In our house we grub, we take some chips throw them on a plate and pour the salsa on them, I didn’t have jack to go with them.  But I did buy the good salsa, the stuff that was buy one get one free!

“What can I do to help?” I asked as the three much younger Moms started working the food.

“Nothing we have it,” they started pulling out color coordinated cup cakes that were placed on a special handmade stand out of cereal boxes so that all the cupcakes resembled a Christmas Tree! I mean, really? How do they do this? How do they have time to hand make the cupcakes, individually wrap the wienies then give them ketchup dots for the eyes of the dogs? Don’t they realize that we’re all busy, that all us real Moms haven’t even started our Christmas shopping, was relieved when the chips and salsa wasn’t already taken on the list, would have made our stand out of wine boxes AND laugh at the word wienies? I wonder this as I leave them to make their feast and sit and relax with my ANGEL waiting for the grub.

After everything was so meticulously put together, once the dinner bell rang the 1st graders looked like a Who Concert going after that Cupcake Christmas Tree and it toppled after two kids grabbed their dessert first. My chips and salsa disappeared while a lot of the whole grain macaroni and cheese sat untouched. Of course, just like their Moms, the kids of Super Moms made gift bags for everyone in the class and hand stitched scarves for the teachers.

I’m coming prepared for the next Christmas, I mean Winter Snack party, I’m pulling out my chocolate fountain. That’ll take the Cupcake Tree anyday.

If Santa Had A Dog.....

My son asked me that question, got the creative juices going.....

If Santa had a dog, he’d be a little dude,


To the front of the sleigh, he’d be glued.

What color would the pooch be?

I’d think snow white, yes, that’s what we'll see!

Would he have any spots, any at all?

A few brown ones, maybe one black I’d call.

And barking, would the little dog bark?

If it’d get the reindeer going, he’d provide the spark.

And why a he, why a he would he be?

I can’t answer that, it just came to me!

Santa’s little dog would spend 364 days napping,

Then one day of the year he’d get cracking.

He’d nip at the reindeer, make them get in line,

He’d sniff all the toys make sure they were fine.

He’d lick Santa’s face not once but twice,

He’d wake Santa EARLY, just to be nice.

He’d run through the town chase all the elves,

He’d even chase his TAIL in spite of himself.

Santa’s dog would be a big part of the fun,

Cause he’s eating all the cookies on Santa’s run!

And if there’s a child that spies in the night,

He’d bark them back to bed in a fright.

Perhaps he’d just hide under the tree,

Looking like a stuffed animal for a child to see.

Santa’s dog would be a fine, loyal friend.

A helping hand as Christmas eve came to an end,

He would love flying with Santa in the sleigh,

Sticking his head out the side barking HOORAY!

He’d play fetch with the elves, run for the ball,

He’d play in the snow and come when they call.

He’d disappear in the tall Christmas trees,

With his thick fur, he’d never freeze.

Then finally after each present was under the tree,

They’d sit by the fire, sipping Christmas tea.

Lying at his feet, the dog’s tail would wag,

As patting his head, Santa would brag,

“What a wonderful night, the kiddos are set,

Sleeping, dreaming of what they will get.

We did a great job, you and I,

Now another 364 days till we fly.”

Santa would pull out a candy cane, the dog's favorite treat,

“Merry Christmas, my friend, something to eat.”

And finally, the biggest question of all,

If Santa had a dog, what name would he call?

That furry friend, that loyal dog, that soft fluff of fur,

Would he call him Snow, Christmas, or simply Burr?

Santa’s dog has to have a name that makes you tingle,

So we’ll give a great name, how about Jingle?

My son’s brush with the law!

My sons and I spent two full days exploring the Smithsonian Institues museums and the Capitol building of Washington DC. All these wonderful museums are FREE! OK, not totally free, they’re spending our tax dollars on these treasures (one of the only reasons I smile when I get the bill from the tax man) and this includes all these great escalators in each building. Escalators to children are TOYS, great places for them to get exercise running up the wrong way, to challenge themselves on how long they can hold onto the side without letting go as they travel down , to Olympic Challenge-how many steps can you take at one time while traveling down. See? A child I’m sure created escalators because they are TOO MUCH fun!

Enter the law, these are the grinches of the season that want to keep our children safe (really?) so in order to keep my son out of the slammer, I kept telling him that control on the escalator was free along with a great lookout (just kidding) so I spent two days saying, “Don’t do that” and “Walk the escalator” and “You’ll get caught.” Did he listen to me?

The last day at the Air And Space Museum I traveled down the escalator and waited for the boys and their friend. After what felt like a HOUR with me wondering “Where in the hell are they” finally I see one boy coming down the escalator, behaving surprisingly VERY WELL! He’s followed by my sons, one with a sucked on a tree full of lemons look on his face as he points to my youngest child who has the deer in the headlight look. They look at me then get off the escalator, and walk over and travel back up.

After another 10 minutes, they come back down and walk over to me, the youngest looking at the ceiling rather than looking me in the eye.

“MAX, got caught running up the escalator….” My oldest grumbles.

“Yeah, the guy made us ride in down the right way,” his cousin adds.

“Sorry, Mommy” my youngest whispers.

“He said that he could take us in, that we could cut our toe off playing on the escalator,” Wolf adds.

I look up and there’s a vinegar faced guard staring at me like really Lady, I can try to make them safe but be a parent please, so I mouth up, “I told him so.” Tis the season to be a kid again, just not when it comes to escalators, just ask Max, his new name is DeEscalator – he says he only wants to take the stairs now.

Christmas Shopping Made Simple!

There's a very simple way to get all your Christmas Shopping done in one day.  A easy trick that has you moving so fast that before you know it you're doing wheelies down Reynolda Road because you've filled the car with so many gifts it can barely move, one look at your list and it's done!

Divide your list into those who like food and those who don't, this is very important in your categorization because if you accidently put someone who doesn't like food on your food list, then the food is left in your house and you will get fat.  So make your list and check it twice before using this easy approach. 

Take your food list and go to Costco, make sure when you go to Costo you go hungry.  Pass all the food stations in Costo and tell yourself that you cannot sample any of the delicious wares until you finish your food shopping.  You'd be amazed at how many Hickory Smoked Sausages look GREAT for Uncle Earl and Aunt Betty, and how much little Richie would love the 5 lbs of cream puffs you bought for him.  You'll make it in and out of that store in less time that it takes them to heat up those LOVELY swedish meatballs and set them out for tasting!  After celebrating half of your list as gone, move to the "thing" people.

To get this done as quickly as possible, stop by your favorite restaurant and enjoy a glass of wine with your friends.  Once you are nice and relaxed take that trip to Walmart (you'll need the relaxation at Walmart) and start your shopping.  With the warm fuzzy feeling there's all kinds of great things you'll find to finish up your list - ammo for your hubby, fishing lures for the cousins, magic fade creme for your mama, and that Carhart your Daddy's been looking for!  Everything under one roof and using the express checkout makes sure that everyone behind you is nice and mad, having you peel wheels out of that parking lot.

Come home with all your treasures, wrap them up and send them out the door usiing bulk shipments from the US Postal system.  Sure, you could drive over to Uncle Bubba's and drop the present off yourself but time is money and it's worth your while to pay the shipping to not have to sit and partake in that venison stew!

So shopping made easy, do it in one day and celebrate victory over the mall!  What are your tricks to getting your shopping done early?