How to embrace technology!

09:34 PM how to move into the 20th century!

The new Galaxy Tab is the newest competition to the iPad, mine arrived for Christmas! This nifty little gadget fits in my purse and takes social networking to another level! I have, at my fingertips all my books, all my email amd social neyworking applications-I can use navigation, I can search the web, I can update my statis on Facebook, all in a handy little gadget. The downside is that now I am always connected, I cannot hide anywhere, and I always have something to do, I'll never have to have a conversation with another person again! So, the upside of my toy is that everything I want is now at my fingertips, the downside? There is no excuse of having nothing to do, complete with all the fruit ninja, doodle bug and now this diary writing software, I'll never have a free moment. Is technology taking away YOUR free time?



Sent from my Verizon Wireless Device

How to improve your hearing!

I could really use Loud and Clear. I want to turn my ordinary hearing into extraordinary hearing when raising two boys. This would stop trouble before it starts as I HEAR:


“Come on Max, go ahead and cut your hair. We’ll look like wrestlers.”

“Does it hurt to cut your hair, Wolfgang?”

“Come on, we’ll cut the dog’s hair first and see if it hurts her.”

Without Loud and Clear, I’d see my once long haired dog walk by with a Mohawk and wonder what in the world happened, until my children walk by with Mohawks.

I could hear the sound of a pin drop from across the room. I can hear the dog sniffing for a place to leave a surprise package from upstairs rather than walking through the house wondering, “What’s that smell?”

With Loud and Clear, I can listen in on my neighbors. I’d hear them say, “That Melang house, do you think they can finally get the toys out of the front yard?” The other neighbor would reply, “With that many toys, they must be doing very well.”

I’d wear my Miracle Ear on my runs and listen to the lovely sounds of nature amplified, so the low growl of the dog waiting to bite me in the rear is avoided.

I could listen in to everyone at the YMCA. I could hear, “Isn’t she sweaty? Don’t get on the treadmill next to her, you’ll get soaked!” At the cocktail party, “Did you see Kelly Melang, she’s really been working out a lot! I wish I could look like Kelly Melang.”

Ahh, Loud and Clear, I what could you hear if your ordinary hearing turned into extraordinary hearing?

BINGO

How to look pregnant....

I decided that I wanted something different, so I went with the trendy t-shirt, enjoying the swirl of the soft fabric. It was the Princess bodice, a little tight at the top then flowing down in a dress type way to just below my hip. I wore that shirt all day, enjoying the T-shirt and feeling like a princess until walking out to get the mail, sure it was freezing but I was digging the trendy shirt.


My neighbor came out and waved, looked at me, then waved again. Now we are not the closest of neighbors, the waves hello the small talk at the mailbox. She looked at me strange again and started to walk towards me.

“What?”

“Let me come up to you first.” She walked across the lawn to my drive way and realization hit me smack in the face as I noticed she was looking at my belly.

“Uh, no I’m not pregnant.” I said, immediately hating the trendy t-shirt.

“Oh OK, I wasn’t sure and since you were pregnant over the winter with your last child, I didn’t really know until I saw you with another baby!”

We laughed about it, talked about the upcoming snow day (maybe) and then I excused myself by saying, "I'm freezing my bottom off!". Before the boys came home from school , I went upstairs and took off that ultra comfy shirt and switched it for something less comfortable but not PREGNANT looking! That shirt now sits in a drawer as I determine its fate!

Do you have one of those fashion trends that turns into trump for you? What are your thoughts about these flowing T-shirts?  Do you buck fashion trends and choose to look Pregnant?

How To Create a Mom Cave......

Mom's need that special place away that's jut for them, just like Dad's to or have.  So in honor of all the hard work and toil that Mom's go through here's a quick setup for a Mom Cave.  A Mom cave has to have a lock on the door that keeps prying eyes out and children from going in and taking off with any of the special items.  As Moms we know that whenever we get something that's nice, there's always a child behind us saying, "Can I wear that?" or "Can I eat that, you should share?"

Moms are a funny breed, in a Man Cave most immediately say leather couch, a gathering place for the caveman to sit with his breed and watch men hit each other on the TV screen.  Moms on the other hand always say comft chair or chaise, because this is a retreat of just one where a Man Cave is a retreat of many.  The chair would have a great ottoman in front, with a soft fleece shawl behind it for ultimate comfort.  Man Caves mention the kegerator and the TV, Mom Caves need a stack of favorite books, and all those magazines we never get to along with a fresh supply of chocolate and "flavored.

Some men talk about stuffed animals on the wall, we Moms think about candles, what scent would bring out the creative blossom in our Cave.  We talk about light colors, chandeliers and a special area for all those crafty things that make Moms so special.

So the Man Cave is all about bonding with the male species in a unique area while the Mom Cave is all about bonding once again with thyself after days on end of endless bonding with the family.  If you don't have a separate room in the house for your Mom Cave, there's always the bathroom- picture the tub full of rose scented water, scented candles giving the room golden flow, hot cup of zen tea sitting by the side.  Ahh, a special place for that special person in the family - the Mom Cave.

What would you put in your Mom Cave?

How to feel old....

Want to know what it feels like to be old?  Try something new later in life, say when you're over 25 years old like myself.  Yesterday I decided to try snowboarding on a dare from my two children, "Come on Mom, everyone's doing it."  My brain replied, "If everyone was jumping off a cliff would you jump off too?"  But I gleefully went to the demo shop and rented the board.

I was pleasantly surprised that I could walk so much better in snowboarding boots as I carried my board feeling very young and hip over to the baby yard of the ski resort.  My son, the great instructor he is said, "Now just strap it in and go down the hill."  If I were under 3 feet and it didn't hurt as much hitting the ground, I'd probably take that advice but my mind was explaining the law of gravity on old bones and joints along with no experience, so I strapped the board in and went down the hill-on my butt.

If you really want to feel old, take a snowboarding lesson as a way to learn the right way to do it, but with a cute YOUNG (yes, under 25 so younger than myself) instructor who looks like a graceful ballerina as she says, "you just turn your body, while keeping balance on the board, head up and slowly go like a falling leaf down the hill."  Cue old fart not looking so young and hip, going like a rolling rock down the hill.

Then finally if you want to feel old spend the day looking up at the sky as you wipe out on a continuous basis trying to make it down the baby hill as little kids on same said boards fly past you.  Feel old as the mountain closes and you are not sure you have the energy to walk back to the rental shop, let alone have that apres ski beer with said cute instructor who looks like she hasn't broken a sweat all day.  Then go home and soak in your epsom salt bath with an IV of Ibuprophen in your system and contemplate how you're just too damn old to learn something new.

Then think of all the ways you can be that falling leaf going down the mountain and get up the next day and do it again.  Screw getting old, just fight it each step of the way....

How to get lost in the phone system!

Imagine this with that lovely robotic voice from all the times you’ve called automated services….


“Hello, and welcome to the lost phone call answering service. Let’s get started by getting some basic information. Are you alive or dead?

Alive.

I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you, are you alive or dead?

Alive.

I’m sorry, did you say you were alive?

Alive!

Great, what do you want to do? Say something like: I want to wait forever on the phone, or I don’t have a life that’s why I’m calling, or I’m having a heart attack.

I want to spend the rest of my life on the phone.

I’m sorry did you say you wanted to spend the rest of your life on the phone?

Yes.

Great, then let’s get started. If you want to spend the rest of your life on the phone then we need to schedule a appointment. Do you want to schedule an appointment?

Yes,

I’m sorry, I didn’t get that. Did you want to schedule an appointment?

Yes,

I’m sorry, I didn’t get that, did you want schedule an appointment?

YYYYYYEEEEEESSSSSS!!

OK, great. Then let’s transfer you to appointments. Click, elevator music, click, more elevator music.


Welcome to the elevator music from hell, you’re wait time is……..

16 days, 4 hours and 3 minutes………

Any experiences ladies? Do you have to sound like Conan The Barbarian with those automated systems?

How to fall in love...

It's easy to fall in love then sometimes hard to fall in love again, or to stay in love.  With this proven little method you can fall in love and stay in love forever!

Falling in love requires an attitude adjustment, some see it as settling, I see it as seeing the beauty in front of you and taking that opportunity!  When dating there were always the ones that are good for you and the ones that are bad for you, we're attracted to the ones that are bad for us.  We get our hearts broken all while the perfect person is there waiting, just beyond our notice until for some-they just fade away.

See past the perfect person, see past the six pack abs, see past the high profile job and look at those that surround and find that person to fall in love with.  It can start tentative where your instincts tell you they are not perfect therefore not for you, but push past that and really see the person for who they are.  You'll find that what didn't start as white hot passion starts as a slow burn and continues and continues and continues.

Staying in love requires the same mentality, see what you have and be happy with it.  Remember that as your life together stretches on and you get older that things may not be perfect but that you are still there is love in itself.  Passion turns to respect then respect turns to a type of love that makes you feel comfortable when you think of that person, that makes you feel peace when you are with that, this is falling into a different type of love - a realization that what you have is pretty damn good and be thankful for it.

Falling in love and staying in love require just a small attitude adjustment, see your life for what it is, realize that you will not be a celebrity and be thankful and happy for what's in front of you, it's much better than anything out there!  Do you recognize love when it's right in front of you?

doesn't have to be perfect
turn off your inner sensors
look, really look at what's in front of you

How to REALLY look at those 100 calorie packs!

I’m having one of those moments when I have a nice long conversation with myself. I’ve already had 6 of the cookies in the pack and according to the nutrition label, I’ve had one serving. Who determines one serving? Do they have normal women like myself sitting around eating cookies waiting until the button on the front of their pants pops off then say, “There we go, that’s one serving.”


Cookie, cake, and now candy companies are making it easier for us with 100 calorie packs. I open my favorite cookie company’s 100 calorie pack happy I’m not staring at an open package. Inside there are two cookies. What? You’ve got to be kidding me? A serving? My husband laughs and says, “Man what a rip off. At least you’ll know that you’ve eaten 500 calories when you finish off the rest of the packages.”

I try to forget what constitutes a serving as I get disgusted with myself and hide the open package of cookies where I can’t find it. Fifteen minutes later and I find it (Hmmm) and eat another for good luck. Another hour will pass and I finally convince myself that if I just eat the rest of the package and vow never to buy cookies again, that’s the best way to control my weight.

What’s your take on the 100 calorie packs, fact for fiction?

How to create your own vaudeville show......

It's easy to get rich on your own vaudeville show, all you need to add is a little weather!  Here in North Carolina, most citizens rush to the store for their milk, eggs, TP, bread and beer if there's the threat of "wintery" mix in the forecast, winter mix is code for that freezing rain or what we like to refer to as "snizzle" a mixture of snow and drizzle!  So put a thin code of ice on the roads and in front of your house and you've got your own vaudeville show.  Picture this:

We start with Mom letting poochie out for the morning consitutional.  Poochie goes running out the door ready to read the morning papers of dog poop and pee in the yard,  however when her paws hit the sidewalk she goes into the frontal spin reminiscent of Tom and Jerry Episodes that end with her landing on her face in the icy grass that was the yard she was looking for.

Mom laughs and walks out to Poochie, only to find herself lying on her back in sidewalk looking up at the snizzle falling from the sky.  Poochie wants to come over to her but putting another foot on the ice and she's sliding by.  Kids at this point are laughing at Mom and dog then running to put some shoes on.

Kids come out of the house at full force, then slide with a grace down the sidewalk all the way over to the driveway, resembling Dorothy Hamilton.  They want to have more fun so move into Roller Derby style and start running into each other trying to knock each other.  Mom, still on her back on the sidewalk looks at the boys and sees some Looney Toons action and knows she's got to take action.

Boys now run out of the house to the ice slick in the front complete with skateboarding helmets on as they run into each other.  Mom and Poochie watch the kids, shake their head then crawl back inside the house.

No one, I mean no one, is telling Dad about the ice....we've got to continue the show.

Did you have a vaudeville show in your front yard this morning?

How to stop bad memories....

When we were younger and woke with bad dreams, many parents would spray "Bad Dream Spray" in the room to make those dreams go away.  As adults, we wish we had that same type of spray, a way to deal with not bad dreams but bad memories.  There are a few simple ways to not banish bad memories, but keep them at bay:

1.  Had a close call that you relive over and over again.  Something like this will stalk you the rest of your life, and you may not think so but it does get easier as the years stretch on.  Best way to banish something like this, or just to get yourself up off of your knees and not feel the guilt?  Say thanks, give thanks to God on that close call and say thanks over and over again.  Be happy that bad things didn't happen as you spray that mist of "Thankful Praise" you'll find that you'll feel a sense of peace creep in as Thanks will start to replace Guilt.

2.  Miss some one?  Wonder what you "could have done? or didn't do?"  Talk to them in your mind.  Not only does this bring them closer to you again, but this helps you walk through the grief that sits there waiting to tap on you on the shoulder with a favorite song, book or smell.  Who knows, they may be with you listening and you may feel that connection all over again.

3.  Make some really bad mistakes?  Move on, best way to deal with a bad mistake is to write it on a piece of paper along with all your excuses and the consequences.  As a symbolic gesture take that piece of paper and burn it, or throw it away, whatever makes you feel better.  You really cannot go back and correct bad mistakes, so live in the present and leave in the past what belongs in the past.

These hard parts of memory are a part of you, they make you who you are.  That close call made you a better sibling, parent or friend, missing someone makes you want to be more like them taking on their great qualities, making bad mistakes shaped the person you are today.  Don't push those things away, accept them remembering that without them you wouldn't be the great person you are today.

How do you deal with bad memories?  Do you have a "Bad Memory Spray?"

How to win an argument...

Arguing with children is pretty close to banging your head on a tree in the middle of a blizzard while naked.  There are a few steps here that I learned from my mother that can help us win the argument:

1.  Because I said so, this usually prompts the "why" but with the authority that this sentence keeps, you can just say it and walk away from it.  You are the authority and if they question this, you can always return with, "Really?  You want to know why?  Well, I'll tell you why....because I said so!"

2.  "Do we really want to go there?"  This is such a great answer, give them the exasperated look like you really do know what they are arguing about (which you don't) but don't want to go there.  If they persist, then you can always answer with, "You don't want to go there," or "you'll regret it if we go there" and can always fall back on the "because I said so" if they really won't let you NOT go there.

3.  Oh yeah?  Well don't make me come over there."  Sure you are arguing but this threat usually has them quiet because of the days when you used to reach in the back seat for some type of hair when they are arguing and that was the child that got in trouble.  This stops an argument on a dime because they don't want you to come over and grab something, they'll leave the argument alone because, well, you said so.

4.  "That's It, I've had enough"  You are at the point in the argument where you can't go any further, usually this is the case where they are gaining the upper hand and if you say anything further you're digging further into your grave.  This allows you to walk away, if they question add in a "Don't make me cover over there" with a "Do we really have to go there?" 

Finally as you collapse into your chair with your glass of wine and you see them sneaking over to you, add in a quick, "Because I said so."   How do you argue with your children?

How to lose gracefully....

Throw things around the room, stomp your feet like Rumplestilkskin, say a few curse words in your mind....

then......

swallow that big pill called pride and turn to your friends and say, "it was a good game."

While your mind is saying, "Hell no, it wasn't a good game.  Our team lost it, they really lost it.  One turnover and you let the whole game get away from you.  I knew this was gonna happen when they went in for halftime, why do we have to have halftime.  Then how could they miss those two CATCHABLE balls?  I mean, I could be out there in uniform and be able to catch THOSE balls!  How do you expect our defense to stay on the field that long and not get tired!  I really hate your team and watching them smile and celebrate makes me want to spit......."  But that's what's in the mind, your voice is still saying,

"there's always next year," as you taste blood in your mouth from biting your tongue.

Be graceful, be professional and save all the secret stuff for the bedroom, that's where the jersey will hang until next year....

Do you lose gracefully?

How to watch a football game....

With all the playoff games starting, take a minute to make sure you have the optimum viewing area before the game.  This helps you to stay parked on the couch during the game rather than getting up because you forgot something.  Normally, I get lucky in that my husband likes to cook in the kitchen on the weekends, but since he's not here, I'm on my own.

Find the most comfortable seat in the house, take dibs on it with a blanket, a book, your computer, or even take your pants off and lay them there.  Once you have your space set, pull the coffee table close and setup your entertainment delectables.  Beer should go in the twelve o'clock position as you will be reaching for this on a regular basis, the forward and back motion with the arm keeps the elbow at the right angle, relieving tennis elbow from too many side grabs of the brew.  In the 2 oclock position, put the chips, and the 9 oclock position your dip of choice.  Favorites can include, fritos and sour cream and onion, tortillas with a warm queso sauce, or if you're mother is visiting celery and carrots and ranch dressing.    In random spots on the table add paper towels and napkins, for that time when you will take a bite of dip, something will happen and you spit it all over your children.

The TV should be set at the loudest setting, it is always easier to justify getting up to turn the volume down then arguing with everyone that you can't hear the TV.  Once the volume is set, hide the remote so children don't find it and think it's funny to change the channel when the most important part of the game is on! 

Apologize to the family and friends prior to the game, as their wants and needs will disappear with that opening kickoff, they can however during challenges, half time or time outs quickly come in and express their wants and needs, this also includes the "I love yous" from family.  My mother was nick named "Halftime" as my father didn't speak to her until halftime during the big game.

During the game, experiment with changing your setup if your team has trouble on the field, at the first hint of a turn around, keep that setup until they win, even if that means locking grandma in the bathroom because when she went YOUR team scored a touchdown.

This is only three more weekends of the year, explain this to friends and family then settle with your team jersey on and enjoy the show!  What's your setup for the big game?

How to take ADVANTAGE of that GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY!

There are too many commercials out there, stimulus money (is that still around) gold, silver, old jewelry, work from home, everything presented on TV talking about NOT passing up this GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY!


Are you passing up YOUR Golden Opportunity? You are even if you don't have any gold to sell or already have a work at home job. God presents Golden Opportunities to us every day, most don't even notice as these opportunities pass us by! Life is full of Golden Opportunities, opportunities that require us to "act now" before this opportunity goes away!  If we take the time,  there's a golden opportunity in a beautiful sunrise as we watch God paint bright pinks and orange colors across the sky, as the darker colors of night slowly drift away, the ice (yes, there's still ice out there) sparkling on the grass and the lake. What a go \lden opportunity as a hot cup of coffee hits your hands on a cold day and you take a minute to deeply breathe that warm air, enjoying the smell before taking a sip.

A golden opportunity is presented in a child standing with their arms open, waiting for that warm hug from a parent on a job well done. Beautiful artwork, cautiously presented by that middle school student waiting for the golden opportunity your praise, that phone ringing in the afternoon and a college student calling "just to say hello" (translated they miss you). The Golden Opportunity of friend stopping by, a pot of coffee and an open ear.  We are reminded in many ways that life is short, let all those Golden Opporunity commericals remind you that life is wonderful, take advantage of every opportunity.

God gives us so many Golden Opportunities that are just like the ones you see on TV, "act now before it's too late, don't let this Golden Opportunity pass you by!" These opportunities don't require any contract signed, there's no fine print, all they need is you being in the moment and siezing it!

Take what others see as ordinary everyday things and turn them into your Golden Opportunities as we hold them close and feel the joy and peace by "acting now." Now that's golden. What are your Golden Opportunities?

How to Properly Loose it....

We've hit our new high here in the snow covered South with our 4th snow day in a row.  Many parents survive 1 maybe 2 snow days with their wonderful cherubs, but we're moving into "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" stage with snow day 3 and NOW 4.  So if you're going to lose it in front of your children, you must do it properly to achieve the best effect.

You must start with the threats as a way to build up to the proper "she's gone off the deep end," atmosphere,  you can use the usual, "Don't make me come up there" or the "You just wait until your father gets home" add in a few ""stop it, just stop it"  sprinkled with a Wait until I get my hands on you" and just to complete the mood finish with, "OK, that's it...."  You can choose to raise your voice but we suggest a low deep voice to get attention.

When things in the house seem to move past that just on the edge of control to whoops there it goes, you know that moment....when the dog decides to poop on the floor then walks by with a "lady it stinks in here, clean that up" or someone decides to draw on their face with Sharpie, or you've heard your last, "Is too, is not, is too, is not"  It all snaps, things blur and you hit that wormhole where you're not sure what happens in the next 2 minutes.

When you lose it you have two choices, you can wither away to a seat in the chair with the drama of Scarlet O'Hara until everyone comes over and needs to check you for a pulse.  Or you can do it with gusto.  If you choose Gusto,  play Rumplestilkskin and jump up and down as you babble something coherently while pulling at your hair, or you can play referee by grabbing both children by whatever's close (my personal choice is hair) to keep them from spraying toothpaste on each other, keeping just enough of a lid on it to put them on the couch before you start yelling.  If you choose to loose it, then choose wisely, what your children will see as "wow, we really did it this time" and give it everything for maximum effect.  If you go halfway, they'll mutter that "Mom's in one of her moods" and continue said behavior, but you bouncing up and down in the kitchen like Tigger with steam coming out of your ears, this helps them fifure out this is serious enough to stop their behavior and find out if they need to call the guys in the white coats.  Just like everything in life, give it everything.

So as we move into snow day number 4, remember just like everything in life, give it everything, even if you choose a specific time tomorrow to lose it, do it well.  How do you loose it?

More Snow Days.....

Here, down south as my friends in Baltimore and Boston say, we've had our blizzard of 3 inches.  Now to Southerner's that's considered a blizzard as our first snow day was called before the first flake even fell, the shelves were cleared out of milk, bread, eggs, coffee - the ABC store shelves cleared of vodka, Baileys, rum.....we know how to do a snow day right.

The first one went off smoothly, we had Science Fair projects to work on all day, something that kept both adults and kids attention span.  Day 2 we did all the snow day things you're supposed to do.  Sled down a hill with an inch of snow on it, found the patches of snow that were actually white to make our traditional snow cream, made the hot chocolate, then settled with the movies.  The second day we ventured out on the roads because frankly two days of staring at each other everyone was ready to get out.

Now, I'm scared.  It's day three and the boys have resorted to beating each other with bats, and I'm just watching them because in my mind, it's a little exercise, and something for them to do.  I've even added a few, "you're not hitting each other hard enough" to sweeten the deals for both of them.  I know that I'm getting bored because halfway through the morning I decided that I NEEDED to make some granola for more healthy eating while munching away at the chocolate chip cookies (kind of defeated my purpose) so when I'm cooking and they're beating each other we needed to get out.

The best way to survive a snow day without alcohol involved is to call in reinforcements, their friends.  Invite the friends over and their attention moves from bugging you or beating each other to playing with their friend.  Many have wondered why I'm always the first to bring children over to my house so here's my dirty little secret, having friends over means I ACTUALLY get things done.  See, it's 1:30p and I'm writing a blog while they show their friend Angry Birds on the computer.

So I sit, relax, enjoy the beautiful white snow and listen to my boys make fart noises with their friends, knowing that I will survive this day until the beautiful sound of bus brakes squeaking pierces the silence of the school morning.  I stop with my Zen cup of tea halfway to my mouth, what is there's a day 4?

What will you do to survive snow days?

How to create the perfect memory....

Time with our family is so fleeting, we sound exactly like our parents when we say to no one in particular, "I swear it seems like yesterday, that boy was sitting and rubbing grits in his hair!"  As we watch time speed up, we are determined to create the perfect memory at every occassion, holidays, weekends, evenings with the family, to just a simple trying to make breakfast.

Here's how to create the perfect memory.  Start with a foolproof plan, sit up late the night before and write out hour by hour or minute by minute how you want your memory executed.  Think of everything that could possibly go wrong and list out several different possibilities of fixes (your A, B, C plan).  Make a list of equipment used for recording this precious memory with either family assignments for each piece of equipment or how you will juggle the video camera, camera and camera phone because no memory is complete without some type of post to Facebook.  When it's time to make the memory inform everyone of your schedule and how you expect them to act and how things are supposed to respond, along with all your other contingency plans.  Let them know what is expected of this memory, and the feelings it is supposed to invoke in each family member.

With all the bases covered and the memory waiting to start, to make it perfect........

Chuck everything you just did out the window and go with the impulse, the memory will then be stronger, funnier as things go wrong, and happier because it was spontaneous as all perfect memories should be!

What's your game plan for making memories?

How to be a good friend.....

There are a few simple steps to being a good friend:

1.  Be there, make time for your friends.  Life can be busy with many things going on in the family, which can swallow up your precious time.  Take that time for friends because that is also time for yourself.  This time moves you away from being "so and so's Mom" and to being a woman and a friend again.  You'll find that even if it's just an hour a week that that hour becomes so precious that you schedule your family time around it.

2.  Let your friends know that you care.  If the snowy days of winter have you yearning to become a hermit, use that time to network in cyberspace with friends.  A quick note or a small chat and they know that you are there AND you are thinking of them.  It doesn't take long but the ripple effect is tremendous!

3.  Shut up!  No, I'm not being mean, but just shut up and listen as your friends speak.  This can be difficult because as women, we're always trying to fix everything, but think about the times you need to talk.  You need to talk, so when it's your friend's turn, listen and let them talk.  Watch as they purge what's on their mind then begin to actually relax and enjoy the company!  Taking that time is saying, "you matter, I'm listening, I'm there for you."

Simple steps to establish your friendships forever.  These are the people when kids move off and go to college and start their own lives that will be there to listen when you need someone.  Take the time today and enjoy the benefits through your lifetime.  Now pick up the phone and call that friend!

How to get a snowday!

This comes after the fact of North Carolina getting FINALLY the snow that closed school this morning with BONE dry roads!  So if you really need a nice day off with the children, here's their take then the adult's take on how to get a snow day.

Child's View:  It order to get a snow day, make sure that all your homework is done, don't put anything off until tomorrow as that will ensure that you end up going to school.  The night before a snow day it's important to do a few important things - drop an ice cube in the toilet, then sleep with your pajamas inside out.  Say a quick prayer and go to bed on time, then wait until the phone call in the morning!

Adults - Spend your time up past midnight finishing up the Science Fair project that was due the next day ensures that the next day is a snow day.  Finish up the last of the bread, milk, toilet paper and beer the day before ensures that not only is it a snow day, but you'll be house bound staring at your children with nothing to eat or drink all day.  The less food in the house, the longer the snow lasts and the more time you spend "bonding" with the family in the house.

There you have it, how to have a snow day.....but as I finish this up, I don't have to do anything - tomorrow is another day off and we're completely out of milk and wine.....let me turn my pajamas inside out that maybe the superintendent will change her mind over night!  What do you do for a snow day?

How to clean a microwave....

This blog is prefaced with a very sarcastic story that involved pudding mix, lots of milk and the idea that if you double the time in the microwave then it will take lest time to complete making the pudding.  Chocolate pudding that is, with something red, oh wait, that was blood, but I'll move past that other part of the story.

Rather than getting out the blow torch and the chisel, especially if you've got a work microwave, there is a very easy way to clean the microwave.  Put a small dog in there and they will have it cleaned out in no time, no elbow grease needed.  Of course make sure you keep the door open, really, I'm just kidding.

Take a bowl of water and put it in the microwave for 5 minutes, this will create enough steam to loosen any foreign objects in the microwave.  Simply wipe down the inside of all gunk and grime and your microwave will shine line new!

Sure there's a little dog that's mighty dissapointed but the clean microwave in a matter of minutes is worth it!  Happy Cleaning (slight sarcasm intended here)!!

How to keep kids occupied....

Snow is coming and all parents are cringing with the thought of being stuck AGAIN in the house with their little cherubs!  Don't worry, there are many more easy ways to keep kids occupied until we hear the ring of the school bell again!

1.  Spoons - I used to love this game, we'd take enough spoons for each player, then take one away and throw them in a room.  While laying down cards once someone lays the Ace of Hearts everyone had to go and find a spoon, the person who comes up short is out of the game.  Better yet, throw the spoons into the snow covered back yard then lock the door when they run out the first time.

2.  Tell your children that you had a candy bar, soft drink, video game, anything of value to them then offhandedly say, "But I'm not sure where I left it."  Go and hide it where they'll never find it while they're looking and enjoy peace and quiet until they are close to giving up.  Make another comment about how great the candy would taste, the game would play and you've still got about 15 more minutes.

3.  The outside game, tell them they should get some fresh air and play in the snow then lock the door as they leave.  Put on loud music so you don't hear the repeated knocking at the door and screaming letting them back into the house when it looks like they have black tips on their fingers, or about 10 minutes prior to prevent this type of frostbite.

4.  Tell them they should write a thank you note to their grandparents, that will clear a room in a matter of minutes.  If you hear rustling like they are coming back in, say loud enough for them to hear, "Where did I put that stationary" and they'll disappear for a good 30 minutes.  What also works easily well is, "Help me make dinner" or "Can you come and clean the toilet?"

Having your little angels at home isn't so bad, there are plenty of ways to keep them occupied and keep your sanity during those "snow" days!  What are your methods?

Part 2: How to help others screw up their lives....

Now given great examples of how to screw up your life, you wonder what possessed you to do this - your friends.  Everyone else that screwed up their life ahead of you has one desire, put you in the same lifeboat they're sitting in as quickly as possible.  They'll do anything, even lie to get you there.

It starts with the, "Why don't you have kids?"  Life is so much sweeter, better, more rewarding, paradise when you add kids to the mix.  The lie continues when they say, "Oh labor?  Nothing really.  I sneezed and had my child, really you'll forget all about it afterwards."  Lie!  When you've been up for 1 year straight and still have dreams about the 36 hours it took to have the child not to mention the scars from, well, I don't have to tell the FULL truth, you realize - you're in the same boat as them!  And they are over at their house chuckling, thinking, ha!  Got another one, oh look Hannah looks happy and their marriage seems wonderful, better go work on them.

Once life settles down again, for others, here's another way to help them screw it up.  Start sending them adoption notices for local animals.  Or while their kids are at home, stop by with a puppy you are fostering from the shelter, and watch as the children work harder than Bernie Maddof in trying to get out of jail on keeping the puppy.  Help the kids with, "It's just a little thing, little messes are much easier to clean up.  Something this small won't shed that bad."  Then laugh with maniacal glee as you leave the animal there - got another one!

If you need more help in screwing other people's lives up more, when the holidays roll around once again, start early, say summer and mention how wonderful it was to invite the entire family to your house for Christmas, the memories of everyone together, the new traditions, how the kids and new dog enjoyed playing with their 45 cousins.  Say it with me, "Everyone together and chaos?  Nah!  Plus you'll forget about it after they leave, and the great memory will be in EVERYONE's mind....."

How to screw up your life

Everything's going perfect, things are wonderful and of course most people think, gee, I really need to do something to screw my life up so.....

It starts in the younger years, when you've got the apartment, you've got no responsibilities besides work, plenty of time to go out with friends, watch whatever you want on TV, lots of money to spend on cool gadgets and other items YOU like.  Everything seems perfect, the perfect time to screw it up and have kids.  With kids, gone are the times to yourself, hanging out with friends for dinner now happens at Chuck E Cheese not that new trendy restaurant you've read about.  Whatever extra money you had starts with diapers and forumla then as they get older moves from toys, to books to that one single Abercrombie T-shirt that costs how much?  When they are younger, your days of sleeping soundly are over as you sit up all night with babies, or the argument in the middle of the night about who got up with the baby last, then it's the carting them to all the different activities, then settling down to watch SpongeBob or iCarly with them to round out the weekend.

You go through those years, longing at times for those carefree days but never wishing it all would go away, I mean you really can't see your life any other way.  So you go through those years, spending the money, losing the sleep, watching your friends sit and enjoy that trendy restaurant through the window as you continue down to Big Bob's Pizza and Subs.  Finally your children realize that they can sleep in, and all the toys are moving out of your house and you think, "Wow, things are starting to run a little smoother again.  Life seems a little easier, everything is perfect, almost too perfect so you've got to go and screw it up...."

Sitting next to you is that little ball of fur that will start chewing up your shoes, electrical wires, kids stuffed animals.  Something that needs food, and snacks, and vet care.  Something that needs to scratch or lick their balls in the middle of the night while laying on your bed.  Yup, just when you thought it was good, you go and screw it up again....

How to cut some edges off that grocery bill

Many don't like running around town to save money, so with one stop to the grocery store and one stop after that you can cut close to 20% off your grocery using two very small steps.

First when shopping at the grocery store, remember the easiest it is to make the worse it is for along with the expense you pay.  Think outside the box, literally!  These types of foods are not only expensive but also full of ingredients and items that are bad for you.  Stay on the outside aisles, the produce, the meats, the dairy and find everything to make healthful dinners for a fraction of the cost!  There are many websites out there with recipes for dinner that are full of fresh ingredients and run 30 minutes and under in preparation.  Prepare an extra large batch, freeze or save and you've got healthful meals for the week!

The second place to consider is Big Lots, many think of Big Lots for thrift in home items, decorations and toys but the food section of Big Lots has LOTS (get it) of deals on food that can shave off more precious money from your grocery bill.  They buy oversales of gourmet items from stores then sell them for sometimes 70% off!  I've found Kona coffee at Big Lots for $5 a pound ($10 at grocery store), Paula Deen muffin mix for $1 and cans of soup $1 to $1.50 off grocery store price!  The best part of Big Lots is when it comes to filling up the lunch boxes or snacking, they carry a great variety of lunch snacks at 70% off and cereal back to the swallowable price of $2.50 a box rather than $4.95 now.

With grocery store prices rising, there are alternatives to lower your bill, create healthful meals AND find some discounts.  Here's one of my favorite healthful recipes!

Spaghetti and Meatball Soup
1 lb Ground Turkey
1 tsp Oregano
1 tsp Basil
1 tsp Garlic Salt
1/4 cup of fresh grated parmesan cheese
1 egg

Combine all and roll into mini meatballs.  Gently fry these in a plan with 3 tsp of olive oil until the outsides are brown.  You don't need to cook all the way.  Remove meatballs add 6 cups of vegetable stock or chicken stock (make your own and save more money) scraping the bottom of the pan.  When the stock comes to boil, add 1 cup chopped carrots, 1 cup chopped celery, 1 cup chopped onion - 1 tsp oregano, 1 tsp basil, 1 tsp garlic, salt, pepper and bay leaf.  Finally add 2 tbsp of tomato paste and bring the moisture to boil, then simmer for 15 minutes to blend flavors.  Add pasta of choice, or navy beans with almost cooked meat balls and cook another 15 until pasta is done.  Spoon out and add grated parmesan and serve.

Enjoy!  What are your tips for saving on YOUR grocery bills?

How to Be In A Good Mood....

No, I'm not talking about the honey, I'm not in the mood kind of mood, but a good mood.  2011 is already here and probably you like most people out there have started your year off with a bang!  Wonderful resolutions, a beautiful peaceful New Years Day full of hope and promise, then BANG here comes monday it's hit the ground running.  Maybe someone hasn't paid their rent, maybe your boss is on your case, maybe the kids are complaining of all kinds of ailments because they don't want to go to school, you sit and wonder what happened to that hope and promise?  What happened to that mood?

It's there waiting again for you, all you have to do is take it.  That's it another simple, how to be in a good mood.  Simply pretend you are in a good mood and everything's all right and you know what, pretty soon it will be!  Happiness attracts other happy influences and people, unhappiness attracts the same.  So why spend your energy complaing about the first work week of 2011 when you can spend that time with a smile on your face and watch as it spreads from there to your mind, body and SOUL!

Be happy, simple.  Take a breath when that dark cloud descends, think about how many blessings are right there in front of you.  Think about others and the problems they've shared with you, sure no one's perfect but if you really think about it, you've got it pretty good.  Now put a smile on your face, even if it is not real and hit the day head on, pretty soon that smile will BE REAL.

Pretend you are happy and eventually you will be happy.  Your attitude affects those around you, that's how the system works, put some extra cards in your favor by being happy and enjoy the rest of your day!

What do you do when there's a bad mood brewing?  What's your way out of the dumps?

How to stay warm on a cold winter day......

Living closer to a ski resort, we've learned quickly and early that staying warm is essential, espeically when you have small children.  Keeping children warm decreases the "whine" factor and makes the outdoor experience more pleasant for everyone!  Here's the basics of layering:

Start with the right base - a good moisture wicking base layer is a MUST!  This keeps the chill of sweat off the skin and the warmth in for maximum comfort.  There are many different brands and we find that the inexpensive as well as the expensive work just fine.  Make that base layer a turtle neck and you're doing even better.  Brands like Champion and UnderArmor make great base layers that move sweat away from the skin and hold the heat in.

Thicker warmer layer, this is your fleece or your wool, something thicker and warmer to hold in the body heat.  The first layer is thin and designed for wicking and warmth, the second layer is designed more for warmth.  Think of a light fleece with a zipper front, if they get too warm they can always unzip it and let some cooler air in.

Top Layer is protection from the elements - this layer is your waterproof layer, holding out rain and snow and snizzle and other types of condensation.  Without a way to seep in close to the skin, the body stays warm in the layers under this protection and maintains a nice comfortable temperature.  If out skiing or boarding, think of the ski/board coats as they have a "snow Skirt" a snap in the bottom, closing off the bottom of the coat from any draft or snow.ice.rain finding it's way in.

Depending on the temperature, you can always add or shed layers as needed, the most important is that base layer, without that, you've got a miserable day ahead.  Additional elements of being comfortable include several other essentials:

Neck Warmer - this is a nice little fleece number that encircles the neck, include one with a head covering built in and you're set!
Liner gloves and gloves - liner gloves are like the base layer, holding in the heat and trapping it between them and the outside layer of gloves. 
Face Mask - if you don't like the neck warmer, the facemask is a great way to cover the face from the elements and help keep chapped lips and crying children at bay.
Top Layer, the Cool T-shirt if you are a snowboarded or have a small child, the top layer is a T-shirt of their favorite skate shop because to them it's all about looking cool and not worrying as much about being cool!

So enjoy that nice cooler weather and have fun outdoors.  There is no such thing as being cold only inappropriate attire!

How to clean a shower curtain!

In my 30 days of posting blogs, I thought some would be good to help others out, those little nagging things that drive you crazy!  How to get the last peanut butter out of the jar, how to keep the mosquito from buzzing around your ear, etc. etc, etc.

So the easiest and fastest way to clean the soap scum off a shower curtain?

Drum roll please........

Toss that baby into the washing machine with a capfull of bleach and put it on short washing setting.  Let it go and be super surprised that all the soap scum is gone after the final rinse!

Now if someone would just help me with keeping all the towels in the bathroom, adding enough hot water to the shower so I'm not a teenager in heat type cold, and adding an automatic flush to the toilet, it'd be perfect!

Resolutions, Schemzolutions!

Welcome to the 1/1/11! What’s on your list of resolutions? Do you make resolutions? Some make resolutions just to break resolutions, some make resolutions to forget them, some make resolutions and follow through!


When making your list of resolutions, dream big but start small. Break that list out into three categories, the three most important aspects of life:

Faith
Family
Business

Putting and keeping resolutions in these three categories are guarranteed to help mind, body and SOUL! In each category give yourself a minimum of three small resolutions that add up to one big one!

Faith – Read the bible for 10 minutes every day
Find a kind thing to do or say for someone else every day
Give one hour of talent to your church or community.

These three little things will start the building of a solid foundation, that grows from there. You’ll find that as you put these simple resolutions into action that there is so much enjoyment in them that they grow and as they grow you find peace and happiness!

FAMILY -
Game night one night a week with the family.
Tell family members that you care about them, do one kind thing.
Keep the TV off until 8pm.

Again, small doable resolutions that lead to bigger and better things. Spend that quality time and watch your children open up and want to spend more time with you, turn off the TV and actually have a conversation with your significant other. More health and happiness for the family.

BUSINESS -
Save 10% in a rainy day fund.
Give 10% back to church or charity.
Pay cash for everything.

More easy things to do that balloon before you know it. Give to others and create a support for your family and watch as peace descends on your household. Pay cash for things makes you think twice about the purchase because watching that money go out of your wallet actually hurts!

You can make those types of resolutions that are small and easy to keep that grow into lifestyle changes before you know it. Here’s to a happy and healthy and peaceful New Years to you and yours!

Now you try, how about creating three small health resolutions?