Truths about Shark Marathon on SyFy

We've been watching Shark Marathon on SyFy, and I thought I would share a few things we have learned.

The first one to die in the shark movie is that poor sap out fishing at night by themselves. They hook the big one and end up getting eaten.

Put a group of young kids together in bikinis, the ones that complain are always the first one eaten. Usually preceeded by at, "I wish I would die," or something like that.

Depending on the budget of the movie, you will either see quite a lot of blood (big budget) or fade to black (low budget). The budget of the movie is usually aware by the title, "Attack of the Two Headed Shark," two heads means a lot of eating, therefore a big budget movie. "Supershark," low budget.

When I was kid, explosions and spears were your best weapons when trying to kill a 20 foot shark. Now a days, they use chainsaws, circular saws, and dental picks - not sure what damage a dental pick can do to a shark.

 If you want to be spared by the shark, make sure you are a tree hugger. All the eco conscious people of the movie are the ones that survive, usually with a long monologue about why we should be good with the earth because all of our bad practices are causing the two headed 25 foot shark.

If the girl in the bikini is running, she will always trip and no, the bikini does not fall off. The trip always helps the shark catch up with them and eat them.

No one believes a kid. In any movie.

The engine will not start. Ever. Even if it is brand new. Nope, it will never start.

Anytime you see a fin, someone is getting eaten. When the fin goes under water, that means the shark is coming up under the boat and eating the contents.

If there is a sex scene, there is always coitus interruptus by the shark. And for some reason the bathing suits still stay on.

So like the Zombie Apocalypse, we all are basically screwed when it comes to fighting the shark that mutated from the nuclear waste spewed in to the ocean by the evil oil developer.  So if you could choose, how would you go??