A Day In The Life Of A Facebook Addict

You are that Facebook person, I know you are:

You see a post and you like it.

So you say, "I will like you."

Then you see another post, but you don't like it.  It is sad, you shouldn't like something that is sad?

But you have to like it, because you want your friend (who you really don't know) to know that you see they are sad----by liking it.

You see another post, it makes you angry.  You do not delete the person off of your feed, you send an angry message back to that person (who you really don't know either) and get into a fight that ends with deleting them, which you should have done in the first place.

You see another post, you decide that it is not nice enough to like, close, but not close enough.

Finally, there is that cute picture of kittens - not only must you "like" this but you must share this because everyone shares kittens.

Then there's the picture that says, "Hangover, The Gods way of saying you kicked ass last night."  You love this but there's a problem:
If you like it, then they know you were drinking last night.
If you share it, then people will know that you drink.
What will all these people, who you really don't know anyway think about you drinking on a Tuesday night.
You take that one and save it for another day - maybe you can share it on a Sunday, but wait then what will all the people you don't know, who go to church, think?

You see a post from a friend about her Labrador puppy, you think, "OK, enough of the real puppy pictures, we like the funny ones that someone else made."

Then you stop by another friend's post and look at the picture, "OK, that's not real.  I will not like it."

Finally you see a few pictures of several friends you actually know together, "Well, why wasn't I invited to that party?  I mean we are Facebook friends."  You decide to LIKE it to show them that you KNOW and you are not happy about it.

All of this happens in the 5 minutes it took you to pull up Facebook and take a look.

You close out of it to actually get some work done.

But go back 5 minutes later.

Is this you?  Do you have continual conversations on what you LIKE and what you do not LIKE?

Life's a Beach - Would you like Tomato with that SANDwich?

I am a mountain girl.  Give me cooler weather, less humidity and specifically NO SAND.  I swear, sand can get everywhere at the beach.  Here's a few facts about sands:

If your baby has chubby rolls on their body, the sand becomes like glue, no amount of bathing will get the sand out of these crevices.

For some reason, babies are the only human beings on this planet that think sand tastes good.

There is always that kid at the beach that thinks it is cool feeding the sea gulls, and that child is directly in front of you----meaning, all the sea gull butts are pointed in your direction as they fight for that Frito.

There is a direct correlation between the amount of wind at the beach and how many kids with flip flops walk by your blanket.

There is another direct correlation between how much you don't feel like getting in the water and kids with sandy feet walking across your blanket.

Always, remember to applaud the lifeguard with everyone else at the beach when you child is saved, better yet make sure you hand your beer to your friend before you get up and run to the water's edge.

If you leave your chair unprotected, even for a few seconds, someone with a sopping wet bathing suit will plop their butt into your chair and soak it.

Remember that kid in front of you feeding the sea gulls?  That's the same kid that picks up his sand filled towel and times his shaking it with the huge gust of wind.

It is usually your child that throws off the pound of sand from their towel directly into the face of the person downwind from you - it is your job to act as if nothing happened.

Having wind at the beach helped us come up with some new terms for sand:

Sandbar - the swimming sand in the bottom of your cooler, that gets into your beer.

Cheese Sandoodling - the sound of that crunch of the cheese doodle covered with sand.

Sandoo - this is a new type of hair sculpting done usually at the beach with wind and sand.

SANDwich - down South - a tomato, mayonnaise, white bread with a healthy dose of wind sand.

Sand Castle - that family that has to hit the beach at 436am to build their compound complete with the 200 dollar tent that no one is sitting under.

Sandfoliate - the act of exfoliating your skin while applying suntan lotion at the beach.

Sandpaper - no not the cheap roll someone bought at the dollar store, but the pages of your book once a big gust of wind blows through.

Most fun a Mom can have at the beach - when she is ALONE!

Happy Summer Days.

They said THAT? Favorite Disney lines translated.

My name is Kelly and I love Disney movies, but really?

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes - Cinderella - I'm not sure this is true, because my heart is not dreaming about Johnny Depp rolling over in the bed and saying, "Good Morning Starshine."

Whistle While You Work - Snow White - no one, I repeat no one, would whistle while cleaning out a boys room, that would require pulling air in through your nose.

The Past can hurt, but the way I see it you can either run from it, or face it - The Lion King   True, I choose to run from the gold shiny parachute pants and the one, and only perm I ever received.

Always let your conscience be your guide - PInoccio   Oh really Pinnoccio?  And you've told the truth?  Have you ever seen a child's face when you explain the last Reese Cup fell into the toilet as you are picking peanut butter out of your teeth?


Nothing's Impossible - Alice In Wonderland   Oh yeah Alice?  Have you ever tried to get gum out the dog's hair?  Or the science experiment of making our own caramel over the stove off the ceiling?

To Infinity and Beyond - Buzz Lightyear  I feel the same way, would you like another glass of wine?

Even Miracles Take a Little time - Cinderella  What?  Ain't nobody got time for that!

They say if you dream a thing more than once, it's going to come true - Sleeping Beauty.  I'm working on just sleeping through the night, then I'll look at the pictures of The Rock before I fall asleep.

Reach for the sky - Buzz Lightyear   But then my belly fat will show!


Hakuna Matada, it means no worries for the rest of the day.  I've got a better word - Cardboardeaux, it really does make the worries go away.

Don't be fooled by its commonplace appearance.  Like so many things, it is not what outside, but what is inside that counts.  And THAT, is why I buy wine in the box!

What do you do when things go wrong?  You sing a song - Snow White.  Seriously?  How about "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen..." from behind the bars?

Giving up is for rookies - Hercules  Hercules has never seen the lunch box thermos finally found in  lost and found after three 3 weeks.  Give up, throw it away.

For each dawn, she found new hope that someday her dreams of happiness would come true - Cinderella  Each dawn I can open my eyes from that wonderful dream, then sigh as the alarm clock rolls off Back In Time from Pittbull and hope for a new day tomorrow.


One thing I did learn from a Disney movie?  It's not OK to talk to strangers-----well, unless they are really good looking then it's OK because they are your future husband.


What's your favorite Disney Movie Line?  Do you think they tell the truth?