A Day In The Life Of A Facebook Addict

You are that Facebook person, I know you are:

You see a post and you like it.

So you say, "I will like you."

Then you see another post, but you don't like it.  It is sad, you shouldn't like something that is sad?

But you have to like it, because you want your friend (who you really don't know) to know that you see they are sad----by liking it.

You see another post, it makes you angry.  You do not delete the person off of your feed, you send an angry message back to that person (who you really don't know either) and get into a fight that ends with deleting them, which you should have done in the first place.

You see another post, you decide that it is not nice enough to like, close, but not close enough.

Finally, there is that cute picture of kittens - not only must you "like" this but you must share this because everyone shares kittens.

Then there's the picture that says, "Hangover, The Gods way of saying you kicked ass last night."  You love this but there's a problem:
If you like it, then they know you were drinking last night.
If you share it, then people will know that you drink.
What will all these people, who you really don't know anyway think about you drinking on a Tuesday night.
You take that one and save it for another day - maybe you can share it on a Sunday, but wait then what will all the people you don't know, who go to church, think?

You see a post from a friend about her Labrador puppy, you think, "OK, enough of the real puppy pictures, we like the funny ones that someone else made."

Then you stop by another friend's post and look at the picture, "OK, that's not real.  I will not like it."

Finally you see a few pictures of several friends you actually know together, "Well, why wasn't I invited to that party?  I mean we are Facebook friends."  You decide to LIKE it to show them that you KNOW and you are not happy about it.

All of this happens in the 5 minutes it took you to pull up Facebook and take a look.

You close out of it to actually get some work done.

But go back 5 minutes later.

Is this you?  Do you have continual conversations on what you LIKE and what you do not LIKE?

Passwords, smashwords!

Don't you love all of our cyber security on the Internet lately?

I may be dating myself but I remember the only password you ever needed was for your bank card.  THANK GOD, I wasn't around when there wasn't bank card passwords.

Then come the computers.  They just won't let us make it easy.

"I'm sorry, your password must contain a number."
-How do I include a number in ILoveTacos?  ILoveTacosI81?

Then they make it harder.
"I'm sorry, your password must contain a minimum of 8 characters, 1 number and 1 capital Letter."
-What?  Now do I change it to "ILove3TacosAL0t?"

So I've decided to change my passwords to one's that I will remember with some of these companies.

Duke Energy (really, is anyone going to hack in and PAY my bill) "DukeEnergy4U"



My bank - how about this one, "TakeAllMy$$"

The Cable Company, "UA**ReallySuK"

And I love this one, My Health Insurance Provider, "0-0ThtsMyBill?"

So I write all my passwords on a file names "Passwords" on my computer and I password protect it.  Then I forget where I filed it.  So I have to go down the computer's journey to regain my password.

****

Having fun with The Cable Company (again, why Fort Knox, will someone hack in and see that I watched Episode 5 of True Blood 8 times?)

"I'm sorry, would you like to reset your password?"

-why yes, I would.

"But first we must make sure you are not some Terrorist trying to pay Kelly Melang's cable bills."

-believe me, I'm not.

"What was the date of your first period?"
I stare at the computer screen.  What?  How do I know that?  I try calculating in my mind and guess a date.
"We're sorry would you like to try your other security question?"
-Why sure, I would.
"What is the name of your first pet?"
Hmmm, now I am stumped again.  Are they referring to when I was a kid and Taffy was my first dog? When I was in college, my first dog of my adult life, my first dog when I was married?  I'm sweating because I only have three chances to pay my cable bill and I'm thinking of 6 dogs.

So then I wonder, did I set this account up while I was drinking wine?  That could affect the password. Did I even setup this account?  What if the hubby did, shit, he has had over 12 dogs.  Maybe we just went with the kids names, they can be dogs sometimes.

I finally decide to go for it and as I go ahead and type in my password, my internet goes down due to non payment of the cable bill.

So I have to call and pay the bill.  I can't google the number because my internet is down.  I try several times on my phone to locate and call the number.

"Please enter your Cable Company Telephone password, this is different from your Internet password and will contain 13 characters, one digit, one special symbol and a strand of hair for verification."

Do you remember your passwords?

Embrace what you accomplished in 2012!

Counting the days to 2013, glad the world didn't end.  But there were resolutions I didn't succeed in achieving.  Here's what I did achieve, and I am proud of it:

I finally achieved my resolution of working with neglected children.  My children are very happy about the attention.

I can now stay in my pajamas for an entire day and not have a single family member complain about it - I guess they are getting used to it.

I have stopped complaining about procrastinating.  I'm waiting on that one to add to 2013.

I am happy to announce that I achieved an all time high of 2,162 in support of Starbucks.  They are very happy with my purchases and sent me a thank you note.  Now to spend just as much with Weight Watchers to get me off the 1,254 calorie Toffee Nut Caramel Chocolate Gingerbread Mocha with extra whip whip.

The stove and I after a difficult separation have decided to try it again.  We're hoping for great things in 2013.

I have also created a healthy relationship with Autocorrect - I have published my list of misspellings for my friends so they truly understand what I am texting them.  Especially when I tell them that "I lobe them."

It is always good to celebrate your accomplishments, and not dwell on what you didn't accomplish - or worse yet get into a frenzy trying to accomplish everything in the last 4 days of the year.  So be happy with your prosperous 2012 and let's all start writing down our resolutions for 2013!