Life's a Beach - Would you like Tomato with that SANDwich?

I am a mountain girl.  Give me cooler weather, less humidity and specifically NO SAND.  I swear, sand can get everywhere at the beach.  Here's a few facts about sands:

If your baby has chubby rolls on their body, the sand becomes like glue, no amount of bathing will get the sand out of these crevices.

For some reason, babies are the only human beings on this planet that think sand tastes good.

There is always that kid at the beach that thinks it is cool feeding the sea gulls, and that child is directly in front of you----meaning, all the sea gull butts are pointed in your direction as they fight for that Frito.

There is a direct correlation between the amount of wind at the beach and how many kids with flip flops walk by your blanket.

There is another direct correlation between how much you don't feel like getting in the water and kids with sandy feet walking across your blanket.

Always, remember to applaud the lifeguard with everyone else at the beach when you child is saved, better yet make sure you hand your beer to your friend before you get up and run to the water's edge.

If you leave your chair unprotected, even for a few seconds, someone with a sopping wet bathing suit will plop their butt into your chair and soak it.

Remember that kid in front of you feeding the sea gulls?  That's the same kid that picks up his sand filled towel and times his shaking it with the huge gust of wind.

It is usually your child that throws off the pound of sand from their towel directly into the face of the person downwind from you - it is your job to act as if nothing happened.

Having wind at the beach helped us come up with some new terms for sand:

Sandbar - the swimming sand in the bottom of your cooler, that gets into your beer.

Cheese Sandoodling - the sound of that crunch of the cheese doodle covered with sand.

Sandoo - this is a new type of hair sculpting done usually at the beach with wind and sand.

SANDwich - down South - a tomato, mayonnaise, white bread with a healthy dose of wind sand.

Sand Castle - that family that has to hit the beach at 436am to build their compound complete with the 200 dollar tent that no one is sitting under.

Sandfoliate - the act of exfoliating your skin while applying suntan lotion at the beach.

Sandpaper - no not the cheap roll someone bought at the dollar store, but the pages of your book once a big gust of wind blows through.

Most fun a Mom can have at the beach - when she is ALONE!

Happy Summer Days.