Oh That D*mn Bubble!

OK, I hate talking on the phone.  It usually goes like this.....

My phone rings, I look at it.  And sigh.
Watch it ring.
Wonder, "Do I really feel like talking to them?"
By the time I realize I don't like talking on the phone, it has gone to voicemail.
They send me a text.
I answer the text

Now to my pet peeve on texting.  Iphone, you are turning me into a crazy person.

I am obsessing about that texting bubble.  Obsessing to the point that I actually yell to my phone.

Texting to me is like talking to the person.  It is something that should be answered in a reasonable amount of time.  Most of y friends realize this, but those few that do not.

I send a text to a friend.  Asking if they want to do something.
I see the word delivered.  So I KNOW they got it.
They don't respond.

Here's my conversation with my phone, in the middle of the grocery store:

Why don't you respond?  I know you received the text.
I know you GOT IT.
Just answer the question!
Why aren't you answering?

Then there is the maddening little blue bubble:

I send a text to a friend with an Iphone.
It says delivered so I know they read it.
I wait anxiously for a reply.
My heart skips a beat when that little blue bubble pops up.
They are replying!  They are replying!

Trouble starts when I see that little bubble pop up

And nothing happens.

I watch my phone for the bubble again, my mind hits overtime.

Why are they not hitting send?
What are they typing.
Is it something mean?
Maybe I should text them again.
No, that's over texting
Oh, there's that bubble again.
WHY AREN'T YOU SENDING, I SEE YOU TYPING.

Throws phone down and starts walking away.

Beep from phone says text was received.

Go back with anticipation, then bummed it was a different friend texting.

Start the cycle all over again.

WTF - My Smartphone has made me a better person

I knew there was a reason I had to upgrade and move into the latest century with my iPhone5c.  And no, it was not the talk to text feature!  Here's ways my Smartphone has made me a better person.


Energy Conservation - texting saves reams of paper in notes AND the person doesn't have to be there to get the message - a good one OR a bad ome..

Flexibility - I have impressed my husband with some new moves learned while trying to catch a signal.

Adaptability - especially when my phone acts like a have a great signal until I dial a number and it goes, "Oh psych, you have extended network."

Learn New Languages - Texting has become a language all in its own.  I now understand what my BFF is doing when she is "C U L8TR BC I M ROFL W BFF OVR TXT FRM X."  And I can reply "KKK" and she will not think I am part of the Klu Klux Klan.

Psychic - When my BFF texts me, "Live young gnu blossom."  I totally understand her auto correct language replying, "I live gnu blossom took."  (I love your new blouse too)

Read a Map - yes, the person who cannot find her way out of a paper bag can now read a map.  You'll learn too when you let Apple Maps try to get you someplace and end up in the middle of no where with little gas and a phone that says, "Psych, you don't have a signal."

Patience with my children - because they always have to fix my phone.  Or better yet, "set it up for me," which is code language for "you'll never be able to find anything."

Healthier - I have apps that remind me to drink water, what mileage I need to run, a healthy alternative to dinner, when to pluck my chin hairs.  I'll never be unhealthy again - my phone won't let me.

Coordination - there are smart phones everywhere.  Try to limit the amount of footage of you out there falling to a bare minimum.  Unless the falls are epic.

Stronger - you'd be surprised at the definition in my arms from all the selfies I take.

Build Better Relationships - because I can see all the epic fails by people in their Facebook postings and learn what NOT to do!

My phone has made me a better person, I am sure there are more rewards coming down the pike as I actually learn how to use it!

The Lost iPhone Adventure

Yesterday we were on the red eye flight from Salt Lake City to Charlotte.  As usual there was total chaos trying to get everyone moving and into the airport.

Setting the scene:

One rental car to return.
Three EVIL bags - bag 1 - 175 lbs snowboard equipment.
   bag 2 -  209 lbs of ski equipment.
   bag 3 - -  heaviest simply full of crap.  Well not exactly crap, but stuff.

Two boys in the back already starting the shoving match before they even exit the car.

Sitting at the departure gate (or bar next to it) I say, "Wow that was painless," reach for my phone and ugh!  Gone!

Wolfgang, my Rainman son has installed "Find My iPhone" on my iPad because I do usually lose me iPhone.  He plays a signal on the phone to see if it is in our bags, but no noise.  He hits "Show" and from a Satellite photo the iphone is sitting in the garage of Salt Lake Airport.

Hubby jumps up - you probably left if in the rental car, let me go get it (isn't he grand?)

As he leaves, my boys are convinced that someone has stolen my iPhone, and they are getting it back.

Here's how they think it goes:

They play emergency signal on the phone, with an emergency note stating, "This is a lost iPhone, please mail to this address."  Another emergency signal, another note, "We are locking this phone so you cannot use it without a password."  They explain to me that the perpetuator is probably bugged by everything the phone was doing and will leave it somewhere - they saved my phone!

How I think it goes:

The hubby finds it in the rental car, alarms start to go off.  Hertz attendants swarm him accusing him of stealing an iPhone.  Another alert pops up, he shows the message and eventually has to pull out his ID to show it's the same last name.  They give him the phone, and as he walks through the airport each alert is loud and clear, causing another stop (and possible strip search) at security.  And many people people to stare at him.  Needless to say, by the time he gets the phone to us, he throws it at us and asks it to stop.

How it really went:

The satellite was right, the red dot in the garage was my phone.  When it moved back to the terminal (as we played the emergency alerts) it went from the rental car to the lock box.  Once in the lock box, it cannot come out until a manager arrives the next morning.  When my husband arrives, they inform him of this then please ask him to turn off what ever is playing all the loud obnoxious sounds.

Find my iPhone - what a great app, I think?

Is your cell phone dumming you down?

Now that everyone has decided that the only way to communicate is through text on cell phone, we've abandoned all semblance of decency as we let our phones take control.  We're creating our own code of talk and it's dumbing us down.

Normal phone conversation:

"Hey girl, can you believe those storms last night!  Wicked!  How is it going?"

"Oh yeah, I was up listening to the thunder, I love it.  Doing pretty good this morning, busy day ahead."

"Really?  What do you have going on?  Want to meet for lunch?"

"I've got several big meetings at work, then my refrigerator is bare so I've got to do something about that."

"I know the feeling, my family sometimes thinks I'm trying to starve them into submission."

But since texting, we've dumbed down all of our conversations so a normal conversation now turns into this:

"Hey, how u?"

"Fine, U"

"Lemme c, gotta hit the grocery store.  dislike."

"Ugh!"

A normal conversation full of words longer than four words would stimulate our brains wouldn't it.  A texting conversation has no substance and leads us to consistently misspelling words in daily life to save time.  I watched a teenager fill out a job application and under prior experience, she penciled in LOL.


With all the cellphones autocorrect, it's become commonplace to proposition anyone anywhere and get away with it.

Normal Conversation:

"Did you get the story I wrote and approve?"

New Conversation

"Sex in the potty a for you and me?"

The recipient of this text is not surprised at the proposition, his phone does the same thing when sending back a reply.  Actually, he's already translated what autocorrect did to the text and reads it to say, "Did you get the story for you and me?"  May not be totally correct but he understands there isn't anything remotely near the potty for the two of you.   People are now used to seeing the words, sex, poop, homophobic, meniscus, and other words as normal part of texting.

I'm trying to remain smart about this, trying to actually call someone and have a meaningful conversation in English without the word sex slipped in.   And a few of my friends when I do actually call them, their voice is bewildered on the other end (we still use phones for talking) as they answer with, "Yo, how u?"

Is your phone dumming you down?