WTF - Candy Hearts

I'm sitting working and of course my computer whispers, "Come on Kel, you haven't participated in a major time suck in a WHILE! Go back to Crackbook!"

Of course I say, "Just for a second, I need a little break.  Then I find the Candy Heart Generator, and most of my morning goes to shit as I go on a binge.

I think, I can do better than, "UR Mine or Fax Me?" Who even faxes anymore?  So here's a few cool ones I'd add to the Brach's Bag.

To my husband:

And I get back just a question mark.

How about.....

To my youngest son: 

 He texts back, "What?"

So I send:

To my oldest son:

Of course, he replies, "Really?"  So I send this......

He replies,"Stop it Mom."

To my Sister:

To a friend!

Or:

So if you want something to kill an entire morning, well, here ya go!

http://www.cryptogram.com/hearts/

Let's move away from "Fax Me" something cool like:

Oh That D*mn Bubble!

OK, I hate talking on the phone.  It usually goes like this.....

My phone rings, I look at it.  And sigh.
Watch it ring.
Wonder, "Do I really feel like talking to them?"
By the time I realize I don't like talking on the phone, it has gone to voicemail.
They send me a text.
I answer the text

Now to my pet peeve on texting.  Iphone, you are turning me into a crazy person.

I am obsessing about that texting bubble.  Obsessing to the point that I actually yell to my phone.

Texting to me is like talking to the person.  It is something that should be answered in a reasonable amount of time.  Most of y friends realize this, but those few that do not.

I send a text to a friend.  Asking if they want to do something.
I see the word delivered.  So I KNOW they got it.
They don't respond.

Here's my conversation with my phone, in the middle of the grocery store:

Why don't you respond?  I know you received the text.
I know you GOT IT.
Just answer the question!
Why aren't you answering?

Then there is the maddening little blue bubble:

I send a text to a friend with an Iphone.
It says delivered so I know they read it.
I wait anxiously for a reply.
My heart skips a beat when that little blue bubble pops up.
They are replying!  They are replying!

Trouble starts when I see that little bubble pop up

And nothing happens.

I watch my phone for the bubble again, my mind hits overtime.

Why are they not hitting send?
What are they typing.
Is it something mean?
Maybe I should text them again.
No, that's over texting
Oh, there's that bubble again.
WHY AREN'T YOU SENDING, I SEE YOU TYPING.

Throws phone down and starts walking away.

Beep from phone says text was received.

Go back with anticipation, then bummed it was a different friend texting.

Start the cycle all over again.

What Moms are really thinking!

1.  Not right now honey - "Please stop bothering me because each time you come up and whine, means I'm delaying what YOU want me to do for another 15 minutes."

2.  Can you put that down?  "I'm getting ready to tase you bro if you don't put down that computer/iphone/DS or your little brother."

3.  Can you hear me?  "I've said the same thing 15 times, if you say you can then I'm going to smack you."

4.  What do you want?  "I'm sorry I was simply hearing you fighting, I didn't realize you were asking me for something."

5.  Give me a minute - "I'm in the bathroom reading 50 Shades of Grey because I can't concentrate on this steamy scene while you are talking to me."

6.  OK - "I didn't really hear a word you said hopefully you won't realize it."

7.  I'm sorry I forgot that at the store - "It wasn't on sale."

8.  For Pete's Sake - "How could two boys mess up a bathroom that bad?"

9.  Why don't you take the dog for a walk? - "Mommy needs a little Happy Hour and Happy means the right type of wine."

10.  I love you - "You drive me crazy but I wouldn't want it any other way."