WTF - Writing, I am your mistress....

Dear Writing:

I did you yesterday.

I did you again yesterday afternoon.

I did you while my children were watching Spongebob.

I even snuck out of bed last night and did you again.

You have no idea how much I want to do you.

You tease me when I am not in the mood, make me do you anyway.

You ask me to whip it out at the most inappropriate times of the day!

Why are you not satisfied? You're always telling me to insert this here, add some stimulation there. And then you make me feel bad because I'm just not in the mood. Well if you are limp, then it is really hard to get in the mood, you know? Sometimes you tell me I suck, and then you laugh.

When I try really hard, you won't come with me. When I try to walk away, you beg me to stay. You're always on my mind. I think of you when I'm alone. I fantasize about you when I'm supposed to do yoga? You haunt my dreams, whispering, "You need more excitement, try this." When I do, you ignore me, make me beg for more.  When I'm quiet, all I hear is, "Why just sit there when you can do me?" Why can't we be just be together, no strings attached? 

I never hear any encouragement from you, not even a "job well done" or "that was perfect, do it that way again" all I hear is your silence. Then you say, "I want more, do it again." You never hear me when I tell you my needs, not realizing everything I sacrifice to please you.  You mock me as I beg for more.

Is there no end to this relationship? Will we forever be trying? How can I make you happy?

You just demand more and more from me, begging me not to stop.

I like it.

I guess it's time to do you again.