Wednesday, March 16, 2016

WTF - Dog vs. Children

There are some mornings I actually like my dog more than my kids, not this morning - the kids won. Then I realized my kids and dog have a lot in common:

They are alike in that:


They lie around a lot, in the same position. Then they get up, stretch and lie down in a new position.


They leave shit on the floor, expecting me to clean it up.



They eat anything that comes out of a can.

They sleep a lot. I mean A LOT!


They depend on me to take them anywhere.


They are not in common when:


My dog is happy to see me, my teenager - not so much. Especially when I am early to carpool and he's talking to a girl.


My dog eats the same thing every day and doesn't complain. 


My dog listens to me the first time, wait a minute, scratch that neither listen to me.


My dog doesn't whine, my kids are masters at it.


My dog can be bribed to do anything with small amounts of food.


Then my kids win:


I still have to periodically clean shit off my dog's butt, thank god my children grew out of this.


I've never had to chase my child down the street whistling.


I've never had to cut cockleburs out of a child's hair while holding them down.


My children know that skunks spray.


My kids don't lick their butt.


My dog still takes a dump on the floor.


My kids don't eat dead stuff then come inside and puke it on the only carpeted place in the house.


My kids are easier to bathe.


I guess I've lived both worlds, having the kids, then as they demanded, getting the dog. Honestly I wouldn't live without either one.


Oh, there's a mess I need to clean up.





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