New Years, Schmew Years

Everyone makes New Years resolutions.  Here are mine:

Every day I will realize that I am blessed.  Especially on those days where I don't have to lay on the floor to button my pants.

I choose to wine more, and whine less.  Yes, there is a difference.



I resolve to finally finish 50 Shades of Grey and not keep getting stuck at the good parts, you have to put up with the soft parts to get to the hard parts.

I will listen to my children, or at least act the part a little better.

I will clean out my pantry.  Today, the day before New Years, that way I can eat all the crappy food and wake up the next morning bloated with a resolution to only buy healthy food.

I will buy bras that fit.  I don't need them to look cute, I just need them out of the way.

I will cook more gourmet meals, or at least, hide the box better.

I will not text and drive, wait, I wasn't doing that anyway---honest.

I will spend more time with my family.  I'll still not listen to them, but I will be around, nodding, more often.

I will appreciate my friends, even when they are laughing as I lay on my back by the side of the ski slope.  Oh, you are so next.

I will be softer on myself, because, face it, everything about myself is softer and rounder - face, thighs, butt, legs.....

I will say what is on my mind.  Oh wait, that's my resolution from last year.

I will realize that this year is the only 2014 that I get - so I plan to go big or go home.  Oh wait, that bridge is burned!

Embrace what you accomplished in 2012!

Counting the days to 2013, glad the world didn't end.  But there were resolutions I didn't succeed in achieving.  Here's what I did achieve, and I am proud of it:

I finally achieved my resolution of working with neglected children.  My children are very happy about the attention.

I can now stay in my pajamas for an entire day and not have a single family member complain about it - I guess they are getting used to it.

I have stopped complaining about procrastinating.  I'm waiting on that one to add to 2013.

I am happy to announce that I achieved an all time high of 2,162 in support of Starbucks.  They are very happy with my purchases and sent me a thank you note.  Now to spend just as much with Weight Watchers to get me off the 1,254 calorie Toffee Nut Caramel Chocolate Gingerbread Mocha with extra whip whip.

The stove and I after a difficult separation have decided to try it again.  We're hoping for great things in 2013.

I have also created a healthy relationship with Autocorrect - I have published my list of misspellings for my friends so they truly understand what I am texting them.  Especially when I tell them that "I lobe them."

It is always good to celebrate your accomplishments, and not dwell on what you didn't accomplish - or worse yet get into a frenzy trying to accomplish everything in the last 4 days of the year.  So be happy with your prosperous 2012 and let's all start writing down our resolutions for 2013!

Mom Reminder

Just when I thought I'd be sad about the end of Winter Break, my son wakes up and immediately starts the grating whining in my ear before anything - cup of coffee, boogers out of the eyes, morning stretches.  Here's a few reason's why they must go back to school.

1.  You can't stay on vacation forever, with all that vacation eating, you'll become bigger than the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man balloon in the Christmas parade.

2.  They need good social skills, better to have them argue with their friends then test this skill on you for 24 hours at a time.

3.  Babysitters are expensive.

4.  They have to learn that pajamas are not acceptable attire after noon EVERYDAY.

5.  They must get back to a regular food schedule, a normal lunch rather than a few pieces of leftover turkey, applesauce and gummy bears for dessert.

6.  They must get back to a regular exercise schedule, I mean you must!

7.  You must learn that great skill of talking to yourself, and making sense.

8.  There isn't enough headache medicine (or wine) for continual "family time."

9.  Reading should consist more of books than Calvin and Hobbes for them and Facebook Status messages for you.

10.  That time away will make the time together that much sweeter, with lots of chocolate involved.

If you love something, you must let it free, that means kicking its butt on the bus at that magical 8am time and then settling with a HOT (didn't get one all winter break) cup of coffee and peace and solitude.  Funny thing is, you'll MISS them!  Why should your children go back to school?

My REAL New Years Resolutions!

True New Years Resolutions - ones that you'll actually keep:

 I will become a biotch atleast once a week for my family. This way they will really appreciate me when I am actually nice to them.

 I will not worry about what the other teachers think when my son pulls a molded peanut butter sandwich from his lunch, I'll try to wear my glasses more in the morning.

I will try not to walk my son into school in my pajama pants, I'll make sure it's workout gear.

 I will wine, I mean, whine a little every day, whining helps my own psyche because no one listens to me anyway.

 I will self satisfy once a week - chocolate, geez what were you thinking?

 I will make my family watch one romantic comedy per week for one month, this ensures much needed time alone when I pick up the remote and say, "Let me pick something out."

 I will try something new once a month, a new Pinot Noir or Chardonnay for starters.

 I will finally tell that stupid wench at the grocery store that the toothpicks at the free cheese are there for a reason!

 I will be honest about how I feel, it's the quickest way to get a family through dinner time without arguments. I say "I'm ready to open my heart" they all gobble and go running for the door.

 I will only eat lunch at Costco twice a week, all those cocktail wienies and pizza bites are adding pounds to my waist.

 I will tell my wonderful husband that I love him every day, with pink undershirts, a dull razor and listening to him intently as I fall asleep on the couch.

I will workout every day, it's the only way I can ensure that I can wine a little every day.

 I will let go of my past and finally take a deep breath and look at the Boudoire pictures I took a LONG time ago!

 I will turn on the stove, make sure it works, then turn it back off, always good to dust it off once in a while.

 I will send my children out every day for 30 minutes of exercise, this ensures my time to whine, I mean wine a little bit.

 I will do a better job of trying to poison my family than a few packages of moldy lunchmeat.

 I will be at peace with my body and buy more Spandex than I need.

 I will shave more often, a few pounds off of my waist, a little hair off the moustache, a little more out of the bank account.

 I will finally be ok with beating my children....at checkers, and races.

 I will be who I am without any excuses, maybe a little wining but no excuses!

Resolutions, Schemzolutions!

Welcome to the 1/1/11! What’s on your list of resolutions? Do you make resolutions? Some make resolutions just to break resolutions, some make resolutions to forget them, some make resolutions and follow through!


When making your list of resolutions, dream big but start small. Break that list out into three categories, the three most important aspects of life:

Faith
Family
Business

Putting and keeping resolutions in these three categories are guarranteed to help mind, body and SOUL! In each category give yourself a minimum of three small resolutions that add up to one big one!

Faith – Read the bible for 10 minutes every day
Find a kind thing to do or say for someone else every day
Give one hour of talent to your church or community.

These three little things will start the building of a solid foundation, that grows from there. You’ll find that as you put these simple resolutions into action that there is so much enjoyment in them that they grow and as they grow you find peace and happiness!

FAMILY -
Game night one night a week with the family.
Tell family members that you care about them, do one kind thing.
Keep the TV off until 8pm.

Again, small doable resolutions that lead to bigger and better things. Spend that quality time and watch your children open up and want to spend more time with you, turn off the TV and actually have a conversation with your significant other. More health and happiness for the family.

BUSINESS -
Save 10% in a rainy day fund.
Give 10% back to church or charity.
Pay cash for everything.

More easy things to do that balloon before you know it. Give to others and create a support for your family and watch as peace descends on your household. Pay cash for things makes you think twice about the purchase because watching that money go out of your wallet actually hurts!

You can make those types of resolutions that are small and easy to keep that grow into lifestyle changes before you know it. Here’s to a happy and healthy and peaceful New Years to you and yours!

Now you try, how about creating three small health resolutions?