Another BIG tick on the odometer

I'm trying to decide if it sounds better to be "nifty" at 50 or fabulous at 50.  Nifty just sounds kind of dorky to me.

I now know the secret handshake, here's a few lessons learned on this ride:

Anything you really want to work, takes work.  Relationships, putting together that grill, to getting the story just right.  Roll up your sleeves and get to it, it's not getting done by itself.

Ask for help when you need it. Sometimes this can be humbling, but there are people wanting to help, letting go not only helps you but makes them feel good also.

Have a Partner in Crime.  Mine pulled a good one on me for my birthday, he's got so many "dude" points to my "chick" points.  I'm in the hole for a LONG time.

You are as old as you let yourself.  Seriously.  I don't feel my age.  Especially when I do something stupid and someone asks, "Are you 15?"

Admit your mistakes, then laugh about them.  Don't hold a grudge, it's a waste of time.

If you spend time being self conscious, you lose time having fun.  Go ahead and fart in that yoga class getting the pose right, sing that karaoke realizing you can't carry a tune, try that high dive out even if it gives you an enema when you land it wrong.

Use the AARP card.  It gets you discounts.  I'm heading over to McDonald's for my free Senior coffee.

Laughter is really the best medicine.  Try to do this every day.  Better yet, just laugh at yourself, that's the quickest and easiest way to accomplish this.

Having children is a hilarious, scary but unbelievable part of the journey.  Whether it is shaking my head, or trying not to kill them, or filling with pride, I'm so proud they are mine.

Share your journey.  I'm blessed with wide open friends and family, who don't say "Are you crazy" they simply say, "OK where do we start?"  Friends are like duct tape, they will either fix the problem, or tape its mouth shut.

I've now reached the age where wearing those "baby doll" flowing tops doesn't prompt someone asking if I am pregnant.  Comfort in clothing is now the key.

Everyone has cellulite, and if they don't then they are worrying about something else on their body.  Let it go.

The only space I can control in right around me.  Occupy that space.  Make it something special, crazy, and amazing.  It's the only space truly yours, work it hard.

Many thanks for all the birthday wishes, all my amazing family and friends that made the trip celebrating with me.  Here's to another fifty more.

I love you all.

OK, time to start planning.

The Birthday Cake Incident

A whirlwind of two weeks here, with two birthday's one week apart, and of course, Easter in the mix!  Did I tell you that both boys were due on the same day (must look up the 9 months earlier and see if it has any "significance") one coming right on time while the other chose a week early (thank God!).

So one birthday was celebrated with bowling and pizza in Park City, Utah, because yes, if we can chase the snow we will chase it as far as we could go.  The other here on Beech Mountain because most of their friends are in this proximity or can get here if needed.

RC Excavating came and dug out a hole for the trampoline, complete with stone steps and other amazing touches while we were in Utah, setting us up for the perfect surprise for their "second" birthday party.

Boys birthday party memory was not the trampoline, not the amazing food, not the friends that came to visit but "the cake."  I decided that it was time to sing happy birthday and cut the cake, walking in the house and setting up candles and lighting some fires.  All the kids stood around me as I proudly, like the Queen of England, started out the door.  At the last minute one of the candles went out (OK, a child blew it out) and I turned to relight it.  Of course, the cake, with candles, slid right off the travel and conveniently down my steps.


We all stood there looking at each other, like, "Did that just happen?"  Then of course a child wailed, "What about the cake?"

I looked at the blue icing and the cake down the steps and shrugged, "Well you better go eat what you can before I start cleaning."

There was a Who concert style dash along with a little cake in the face as most of the salvageable stuff ended up in someone's belly.  Then I was stuck trying to get Smurf blue icing off of my carpet, while tasting the cake myself.  (It was a little gritty but delicious)

My husband's infamous question still makes me laugh.  "How did you let that happen?"

Oh my dear sweet husband, sometimes cake happens.  Sometimes when you are standing with a light tray and realize there is nothing on it while your carpet is permanently blue, you one of two choices:
Laugh at the situation or,
Shrug and salvage (Go and get it kids)

I think I made the right choice as all the kids the next day at Carowinds were still telling their friends they met there, "You are not going to believe this story about cake!"

So yes, I can have my cake, I can throw it down the steps, and I can eat it too.

Does "cake" happen for you too?

Best Birthday Memories

Birthdays are about making memories with your family.  Here's two that really stick out for me.

My 12th birthday, my Dad bought me a Holly Hobby Diary.  My very first diary.  I was presented with the task now of writing out my innermost secrets and thoughts and had to devise a very methodical way of hiding the diary from my brother.  I still remember jumping into my parents bed in the morning telling them, "It's my birthday."  Of course, they knew that.

Mom gave some Avon perform in a pretty sheperd girl decanter, Dad gave me the diary.

Now when I read my inner most thoughts, I laugh at the entries.

"I hate piano.  I really hate piano.  No one knows how much I hate piano," and so on for an entire page.

"I just saw my brother pick his nose.  He is the most disgusting person ever!"

and my favorite:

"I know why the girls in the 8th grade have FAT purses, it is because they have SANITARY NAPKINS in there.  I want a fat purse."  Little did I know.

My other favorite memory was sitting with my Dad on my birthday at a bar in Ocean City and he proclaims that we both need to purchase KENO (the local lottery) tickets.  So we write out our numbers, 5 of them.  Then watch the bouncing balls as they hit the screen.

"I won a dollar!"  My Dad exclaims!
"Me too!"  I look at him in surprise.

How did we pick the same numbers?  We played our birthdays and our age.  Great minds think alike!

His:  6   26   31  65
Mine:  6  29  65  31

Too bad we didn't get the 5th number - we'd be rich.

Birthday's are about being with the people you love and having a great time.  Making new memories to add to the old ones!

What's your favorite birthday memory?

Happy Birthday Mom!

My mother would have been, let's see, I have no idea old today.  She always hated that her birthday was 4 days after Christmas, which prompted all of us to have specific birthday gifts - not the usual, "This is for Christmas AND your birthday!"

I miss my Mom on her birthday, more than most days.  As a birthday gift for her, here's a few things about my Mom that make me smile.

1.  Every holiday we'd bring a nice (not our usual 2 buck chuck) wine for the holiday dinner.  My mother would accept it and say, "Wow, this is wonderful, let me put it in the refrigerator now so it's nice and cold for dinner."  You know what, we never said anything just drank cold Zinfindel.

2.  We had a golden retriever named Red that went to obedience school three times and never listened to any of us.  Except one time, he jumped out of the window in a moving car on the highway and my mother chased him down Rt 29 until she yelled in her Mom Voice, "Red SIT!"  Surprise to everyone, he actually sat.

3.  We had a terrific wind storm at our neighborhood the day one of my neighbors decided or his wife made him get rid of his Playboy collection.  His trash can fell over and the magazines flew all over the neighborhood.  I can see my mother out in her raincoat, golashes, big winter hat walking up and down the street collecting all those pictures of naked girls.  I never told her my brother found them in our trash can and SOME of them ended up in his tree house in the woods.

4.  My mother actually took me to the doctor when mosquito bites appeared on my chest.  She was afraid I had cancer, he said it was boobies.  After a few therapy sessions later in my life, I can laugh about it now.

5.  Taking a Twin Otter from Mainland Ireland to the Aran Islands and they had to weigh everyone BEFORE they boarded the plane.  On a Shorts 330 from Miami to the Bahamas she leaned over and whispered to me, "My Volkswagon has more aerodynamics than this thing."

6.  Dr. Norma always fixed a broken doll - broken from a fight between girls that involved yanking the doll between them until an arm was pulled off, or when SOMEONE got mad enough to stand by the couch and slam the doll against it until the head popped off (and not a one of us became a serial killer, go figure)  She never wore the uniform and most of our real bumps and bruises prompted the question, "Well I guess we could just cut the arm off?"

7.  The first time she met my husband we had been out to a party and she threw him out of the house, throwing beer cans at him as he walked down the street.  The second time she met him, he wrecked his car right before dinner, left the car and came to meet us, picking glass out of his suitcoat.  But obviously she liked him, (he lived with my family so far) because of her last notes said, "You two are made for each other...."  She was right even if they didn't get off to a good start.  (The showing up with a van to move me out before we were married didn't help either)

Growing up in the coal country of PA, my Mom taught me hard word and honesty will get you far, and don't take anything off of anyone.  She also worked out every day until she couldn't.  Finally, she always worked at bettering herself, to going back to school and demanding promotions.

I wish my Mom was around so I could ask her questions that I wouldn't ask anyone else, something like, "I don't remember you being this bitchy when your menopause started, is there something wrong with me?"  Or how do you make it through those wild feelings of waking up and your kids are grown, how did you handle that?  Or remember those nutty rolls, they've never been the same, can you write that recipe down for me again?  Finally, I really miss those girls trips when we all let our hair down and talked about anything and everything, especially these questions---obviously deleted here.

Here's to a great Mom, and a great birthday.  The only person brave enough to go up to the Sister that was principle at our school and tell her she was, "snowing in the south."  Those that get it, get it.

Much love, Kels

Oh by the way, happy birthday to my bestie - Nicole, you share the same values as a great person!!!

Birthday Ideas for the AARP Generation

Each year the same date rolls around and my body says, "Oh it's the birthday, who's turn is it to sag this year?"  This year the boobs perked up then feel faster than my youngest down the waterslide.  So how do you celebrate a birthday?

10.  Buy the Wonderbra, it really does work.
9.  Turn your phone on vibrate and put it in your pocket since every facebook notification comes through the phone as a buzz - get it?
8.  This is the one day you really can have champagne for breakfast and not feel guilty.
7.  Photoshop those pictures of you from the day before and repost to Facebook.
6.  Teach your kids to say, "Mommy's 21 plus change," not, "My Mommy's really old."
5.  Champagne didn't improve your mood, you can always add glasses - wine glasses that is.
4.  Look at the pictures of yourself without your granny readers, you'll look fabulous.
3.  Search and find friends pictures  that are older than you.
2.  Find those celebrities without makeup photos
1.  Tell everyone you're 64, they'll look at you shocked saying, "Dang!  You look good!"

Better yet, accept the hugs and kisses from everyone special to you and realize that you are blessed!  So happy birthday to me!

Things I love now that I'm older:

Sunglass Readers - Yay!

Google - we can finally forget things because we'll just look it up later.

That my husband has bad eyesight.

Naps

That my mind still thinks I'm in my 30's.

How to have a happy birthday!

I thought I’d spread the love and impart some of my birthday wisdom because you all of us 21 year olds think we KNOW everything!

1. Go ahead and lick the end of the charger cord. I watched my son look at the end of my computer charging cord, think for a second, then decide to lick it. Hmmmmm, I guess I’ll try anything once, quite a few I’ll never do again, but I can atleast SAY I did it.

2. I look much better with clothes on. Working twice as hard to maintain what I got is fun, but sighing and simply accepting the call from National Geographic for their Amazon women photo shoot rather than fighting it. Walking around naked though does have it’s own freeing ability!

3. As long as they don’t see you eat it, it doesn’t have any calories. I’m not really sure what happened to all that birthday cake. Gotta go for a run.

4. Body glide and KY – we all need a little help sometimes, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Like both, you’ll be really happy you did!

5. Be a good example – be honest, open and trustworthy – except for the secret stash of weed, I mean chocolate!

6. Just keep moving! Be one with it! Headwind? 90 degree heat? 100% humidity? -14 degrees, don’t focus on the negative and be surprised at how pleasant a task becomes!

7. Dance after you’ve had a few drinks – you look so much better in your own mind! The same is true with Karaoke.

8. It aint about you anyway. When you take the focus off yourself and onto others, the fun REALLY begins!

9. Love hard – you never know how long you got!

10. Not liking the course? Then change direction! Change is good, it keeps things fresh, just ask my butt and elbows after two months of learning how to snowboard! Learning something new=PRICELESS!!

Time flies whether you are having fun or not, so make the most of what you got. Fine tune the machine and enjoy what you have – makes those Facebook pictures and youTube videos that much better!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my mother’s birthday, and each year I really miss her more and more. Losing a parent is a loss that lingers, gently reminding in little things during your life-a song, finding a gift they gave you, remembering a trip, dusting off Christmas ornaments. When the memory comes back, it’s a dull ache, sometimes intense when you realize how long you have to wait to see them again.

As a woman, losing my mom makes me learn on my own about growing up and taking care of children. Sure I’ve got a great network of friends always willing to give advice, but there’s a conversation between mother and daughter that is special, daughters know that they can ask their mother ANYTHING. It starts when you are young and your mother starts teaching you about being a girl, explaining more to you as you stand on the threshold of being a woman, to the little things that make a great Mom. I wish I could ask her questions now about behavior, some simple like – was I this messy when I was growing up? Did I obsess the same way over something to the point of nausea? To the more complex type of questions, when did you start to go through The Change? How do you grow old gracefully?

Take some time as your New Year’s Resolution to sit and have a conversation with your mother. We always say talk to your grandparents, those elderly relatives – gain knowledge from them. There’s a special person there ready to talk about those things you may be too embarrassed to talk about, the one to help you be comfortable and provide that guidance in the process. Take out a piece of paper and sit with your mother and remember, ask her simple questions and write down the answers, videotape her answers if she’s comfortable with it, make a pot of coffee and really learn about her as a child, trials and tribulations into adulthood, what it means to be a parent.

There are many questions that pop up now, and I wish I could ask her. Her greatest gifts to me was that she was THE strongest woman I ever knew in my lifetime, so I just tuck those questions away and try every day to be the caring, strong, never give up, wonderful person that she was. Happy Birthday Mom, may your present be someone sitting with their mother and enjoying the bond that is mother/daughter.