25. You will never sleep through the night again. Ever.
24. Hand sanitizer is your perfume - of choice.
23. There will be a permanent indentation that fits a Lego piece perfectly on the bottom of your foot.
22. There is no such thing as a HOT cup of coffee.
21. You free time will be when you tell everyone you're going to the bathroom to take a nice......
20. There are calories in Macaroni and Cheese, your thighs are telling you.
19. Tomato, in every Mom's book, is considered a vegetable.
18. Spandex was invented by Moms.
17. TV will become your best friend, just behind X-Box.
16. Your sense of smell will become perfect - especially if it involves dog poop.
15. You'll never look down at your boobs the same again.
14. "Wow, that's great," is the perfect praise you can give, especially if you didn't hear a word they said.
13. Wining not whining is your preferred method of communication.12. No one, I repeat, no one will be talking about your flaming volcano cake for the 2nd grade Spring snack a year later.
11. That secret drawer, the one with those "special" books and items - well, your kids have already been through it - twice.
10. Cup holders are your best friend - on the stroller, attached to the beach chair. They keep that "Mom Juice" from getting spilled.
9. Your easiest hairstyle involves leftover food, and dried milk. Only you can smell it.
8. Your kids are energy suckers on the teat of your life - if you let them, they'll suck it all right out of you.
7. The first time you pee alone, you'll have performance anxiety because you are used to an audience.
6. In the beginning you'll relish the silence, until you live through the messes left behind it.
5. Your child will become the best chaperone you ever had before marriage.
4. It's OK to ignore your children and say, "My God, who's kids are those," when they are in a dog fight in the middle of the cereal aisle.
3. You'll be overcome with the uncontrollable urge to do something cruel, like drive away and leave them in the house when they are taking 15 minutes to put on their socks. And another 15 to put on their shoes.
2. Please really is a magic word. You'll be amazed at what you do after hearing the word please.
1. You really will miss them when they move out. Really.
What would you add to the list?
I don't know what I would add, but these are pretty funny!
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