WTF - What a BEAUTIFUL Idea

So a friend send me this wonderful idea I thought I would share with you, and how my wicked twisted sense of humor took it.

It's called an Inspiration Jar - cue the whimsical music right here - where you fill a jar with beautiful writing prompts and each day (really? each day, are you kidding me? I'm lucky if I get a shower each day) you take out a prompt for meditation and journal writing.

OK, this does sound like fun, I have no problem creating the beautiful jar, then came the part of beautiful prompts.  Where does my mind go? You guessed it, right in the gutter, here's a few of my questions:

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why does my crap stink sometimes and other times it does, but my husbands stinks ALL THE TIME?

Why can't I tickle myself, and why do I want to?

What good does it do putting the empty box of Orange Juice back in the refrigerator?

Why does Google become a sick pervert when you use the letter U for a question rather than individual?  Seriously, try it!

Why is it when I get lost in any city, I always find the druggie neighborhood? Even with GPS?

What sicko created those 100 calorie packs of Oreos. A, they are not Oreos, and B, two cookies is not an acceptable number.

Why would a person every say they are a pathological liar? Aren't they lying?

Why can't I find anything anymore, I've moved into the "constant looking" phase of my life?

Do they ever have mattresses NOT on sale?

Why hasn't a psychic ever won the lottery?  Just saying.

Someone is messing with the sizing on clothes recently, haven't they?

They make bullet proof clothing, but I've never seen bullet proof pants?

The same doctor that delivered both of my children, leaves the room for me to undress into a gown that exposes everything anyway, why?

How do you know when sour cream is bad?

And finally, the one that really gets me.

My Grape Nuts has NO nuts, not a single one in it.

So go out there and create your beautiful writing prompt jar, or do what I do, clean out a Ketchup bottle and put it in there, because I never need a prompt, I look at the bottle thinking, "What is the different between Ketchup and FANCY Ketchup? It does get the creative juices flowing!