Did he know that I was on duty for carpool today?
Was he laughing as I let the dog out at 6 o'clock in the morning?Because as I was working on packing lunches, a smell hit my nose.
Is that what I think it is?
Why is it so powerful?
It is that type of smell grabbing you by the throat, slapping you a few times , then heading off to do the same thing to your Momma.
"Where's the dog?" I yell down to kids. Silence makes me feel a real dread. I don't like dread at 615 in the morning.
Opening the door, the dog saunters in, lucky in that A, she is cute, and B, my nose is stopped up due to allergies.
Not to be.
That smell, the one that brings tears to your eyes. Yes, she had that smell.
Shawnee found Pepe Le Pew in the yard coming back with that beautiful mountain perfume.
She was proud. So proud of her smell that she decides us chasing her around the house is much more fun than chasing the skunk 15 minutes earlier, that maybe we are jealous of her smell, wanting to rub it off on us.
It is pandemonium chasing her through the house. Downstairs, then back up stairs before pinning her in the kitchen. She seems to find every piece of cloth in the house on her way, rubbing her skunkified body all over it. Bed, couch, bed, bed, shower curtain.
But we still had school, what to do?
Dog thrown in the garage, kids thrown in the car, lunch thrown in the boxes. Out the door.
We pick up carpool and the first words out of the kid's mouth, "What is that smell?"
Pepe? Did you follow us? I look around nervously. Then I realize it is me.
Funny after chasing the dog around the house, you get used to skunk smell, that for a second I'm thinking, "Well it doesn't smell THAT bad."
I drop everyone off at school marveling that I made it on time despite the obstacles in my way. I'm heading back home when my phone beeps,
"Mom, they are calling me skunk boy at school. I smell like skunk."
Pepe, you got your revenge on the teenager, now didn't you? What to do? "I'll be right back to pick you up."
I take him home for a shower and change of clothes, figuring by the time I take him all the way back to school, I'd just take a nap in the parking lot before bringing him back home again.
He helps me with cleaning the house, his phone rings, he disappears, coming out a few minutes later.
"My girlfriend broke up with me."
I stop what I am doing because despite the perpetual smell in the house, this really stinks.
I am grateful that he is home when all this goes down. For a second, I am glad that Pepe skunked my pup, because break ups don't go well with third and fourth period in High School. I realize I am not good with this teenage boy stuff and have a long road ahead of me.
In case you are wondering, Febreeze works well when a skunked dog decides jumping across your bed is a good idea. Wash the dog with Dawn dishwashing detergent, baking soda and hydrogen peroxide rather than tomato juice - save that for the Bloody Mary.
Finally, picking up the second child from Middle School, I am grateful Pepe didn't get his skunk revenge, listening to my child telling you how funny everyone telling him he stunk, calling him "Pepe Le Pew." What a difference hormones make.....
You know what, I think I'll save the tomato juice in case Pepe comes back, skip the Bloody Mary and call it a day.
Oh, did I mention Pepe left me a nice gift on the front steps of my house. With all the other smells coming out of my house, I can safely say skunk shit doesn't stink.
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