Lessons learned from Fast and Furious

My name is Kelly, and I am a Mom.  I can't help myself, I've been to the theater to watch every Fast and Furious movie including Fast and Furious 6.






Here's my review and lessons learned:

There are only a few people that look good in wife beater shirts.  Yes, down south we called them wife beaters, and there are few that can rock this look.  All the guys in Fast and Furious 6 can wear these shirts, and don't make the mistake of buying one for your sweet hubby thinking he will rock it too.  You have to be in a car movie with beautiful girls to take the eye off of you to rock the wife beater shirt.

Gravity when filming this movie?  Ain't nobody got time for that!

Never let them see you sweat.  Even in 100 degree heat while fighting the group of 16 men sent to kill you, our heros are in dark T-shirts without a single sweat stain.  Perhaps they put anti-persperant all over their bodies.  I may have to try that.

These are some epic fight scenes - these fights are so long that I caught myself a few times checking my phone as they slugged away at each other,

Girls just want to have fun.  I have never seen such big fights between the girls.  Usually my girl fights are, "Are you wearing the same shirt as me?"  These girls slug each other in the face (and don't care about messing up the makeup) in the belly and a quick kick into the groin area, for a girl?  Me?  Two punches to the face and I'd be laying there saying, "I'm done.  You go ahead and steal that secret computer chip, I'm going to find an ice pack."


They know that rednecks are watching this movie.  This is evident in the warning at the end of the movie, however it was written in a language that most do not understand.
"The stunts in this movie were performed by professionals and should not be attempted at home."
Who heeds that?
Rather it should say, "Listen you are an idiot, we know you will try these stunts - at least wear a helmet."

They are using real people.  I spied a jiggly butt in the scene where all the girls are dancing around the car getting ready to race.  No cellulite, just some jiggles but it made me feel better as I said, "Hey, she looks like ME!"

Watch carefully - some of the fight sequences, and chasing sequences had me going, "Who is that running down the steps?  Is he a good guy or a bad guy?"

Expensive clothing stays put - amazingly, low gut J. Crew tank tops on girls stay put as they flip each other onto the floor and claw at each other like cats.  Reminds me of the fight scenes in The Rifleman where he could get punched in the face and his 15 gallon hat stays on!  Real Life?  Boobs popping out, rips in the shirt and blood and not just on the clothing.

I need to train more for my next cameo in the movie - these characters can fight for over 20 minutes, chase a bad guy for 30 minutes, and have marathon lovemaking sessions with out a single, "Stop, I got a stitch in my side."  or "I got to catch my breath" or "God, my plantar fasciatus is KILLING me!"

Love is fickle - apparently you can dump your current love of your life for the woman who doesn't even remember you and everyone is happy and has your back when the bullets fly.  Better yet, your ex girlfriend ends up meeting one of your friends and becomes the love of "their" life.

Death is but a dream.  You do not die in these movies, you fade away if you are not considered an interesting character until you need to come back and get killed.  Then you die.  Maybe.

All in all, this is a great movie - action packed, full of eye candy, and an actual story line to boot.  Sure the action scenes are completely unreal, but who really would pay to see regular redneck cars, sweaty guys with yellow armpit stains and girls fighting in the mud.  Shoot, we could go to the next family reunion to find that one.

Have you seen Fast and Furious 6?  What do you think?