What? My HI-C isn't good enough?

This Mom needs some lessons on retaining my sanity. How do you other Moms do it? I mean really how do you do it? I waltzed into my youngest child’s Christmas (oops, Winter snack) party with my grocery bags and the checked items on the list from the “Grade Mom.” She looked at the HI-C with slight disapproval (really? They were on sale and aren’t Christmas , I mean Winter Snack parties all about jacking them up on sugar and letting them lose on the parents. And who put the blue frosted cupcakes over there right next to the big bowl of Hershey’s kisses) then put them to the side. When it came time to pass out the food, she politely told the other Moms, “We can’t serve these juice boxes, they aren’t cold.”

My first thought was that a: this MUST be her first Christmas, I mean Winter Snack party or B: this was her first child or only, I mean single child. The juice box wasn’t cold enough? It sat in the trunk of my car overnight, lady!  My kids sucks these babies down so quick they’d never even know what flavor it was unless reading the box. But, I was not the “Grade Mom” so we put my lukewarm juice boxes over to the side and passed out refreshingly cool Capri Suns. Next came the snack items I was supposed to bring. Again they looked me up and down as I shoved two grocery bags at them, “Chips and Salsa, see that’s what I checked on the Mommy list.” Only then did I realize the other bags all had beautifully decorated bowls for their food, sparkly serving utensils, and the recipe printed out on recipe cards for all the other Moms to take home. In our house we grub, we take some chips throw them on a plate and pour the salsa on them, I didn’t have jack to go with them.  But I did buy the good salsa, the stuff that was buy one get one free!

“What can I do to help?” I asked as the three much younger Moms started working the food.

“Nothing we have it,” they started pulling out color coordinated cup cakes that were placed on a special handmade stand out of cereal boxes so that all the cupcakes resembled a Christmas Tree! I mean, really? How do they do this? How do they have time to hand make the cupcakes, individually wrap the wienies then give them ketchup dots for the eyes of the dogs? Don’t they realize that we’re all busy, that all us real Moms haven’t even started our Christmas shopping, was relieved when the chips and salsa wasn’t already taken on the list, would have made our stand out of wine boxes AND laugh at the word wienies? I wonder this as I leave them to make their feast and sit and relax with my ANGEL waiting for the grub.

After everything was so meticulously put together, once the dinner bell rang the 1st graders looked like a Who Concert going after that Cupcake Christmas Tree and it toppled after two kids grabbed their dessert first. My chips and salsa disappeared while a lot of the whole grain macaroni and cheese sat untouched. Of course, just like their Moms, the kids of Super Moms made gift bags for everyone in the class and hand stitched scarves for the teachers.

I’m coming prepared for the next Christmas, I mean Winter Snack party, I’m pulling out my chocolate fountain. That’ll take the Cupcake Tree anyday.