Happy Siblings Day-Lessons Learned

Today is Siblings Day and I can't not celebrate the day without imparting some very wonderful wisdom from growing up with two sisters and a brother.  Though we do not live close to each other, if you've ever heard me complain about my phone blowing up, it is usually texting from my sisters.  So here goes:

1.  It is always better to cut your younger sister's hair then your own.  That way when you make a mistake you're not paying for it, she is.

Sorry Jen, you didn't make it.

2.  When changing a younger sibling's diaper, it is not a good idea to hold the baby powder upside down and squeeze.

3.  The best type of torture on a sibling is the usual "Mom's not around concoction" this includes usually ketchup, mustard, hot sauce, pepper, sugar and PeptoBismol.

4.  Remember to always strengthen your pointing finger, you will use it quite frequently during your childhood saying, "She did it," or "She made me do it."

5.  Many of your great ideas should usually stay great ideas.  If you are going to try them on your siblings, try to put some type of padding on them, at least a helmet.

6.  If you ever want a total recall of your diary, as your sibling.  This works even 30 years later.

7.  If you are last child born into a family, you will not make many family pictures.  Sorry.

8.  As you get older, it gets harder bribing a sibling at keeping their mouth shut when you have a momentary lapse in judgement.  They seem to like watching you being tortured by the parents more than keeping their mouth shut.  Money sometimes works.

9.  It is best to be aware of the sibling allergic to poison ivy, especially when you watch them wiping themselves in the woods with it.  Helps you keep your mouth shut while laughing.

10.  When you get back together at any age, you immediately fall back into the sibling rivalry you had as children.  You usually revert back to acting as children as well.

11.  Be happy that we grew up before camera phones.  There would be so much blackmail material - from us acting out Grease, to making up our own commercials, to playing "school" the day after school let out for the summer.

I love my siblings because they made me who I am today.  Our witches brew in the backyard, King of The Hill usually ending up in a fist fight, to now laughing at all of those stories years later.  It has always been said that all three of us sisters have "moxie" so I guess it does run in the family.  Here's to many more inappropriate ideas down the road to chasing each other in our wheelchairs!

Happy Siblings Day!

Ok Ya'll I'm confessing

Somebody challenged me to a fess up Friday.  Cough Cough.  Here goes:

10.  Sometimes I don't listen to someone when they are talking to me.  Especially true when a child is complaining or a husband is lecturing.

9.  I have my own secret stash of Girl Scout Cookies.  I put them in the Tampax box under my sink.

8.  I rolled up my son's socks and stuffed them in the bottom of my bra.  At the end of the day, I put the socks back in his drawer and let everything else hang loose.

7.  Sometimes I can be catty.  I won't tell you about who and with whom.  That's still a secret.

6.  Back when I was a Great Mom and didn't have kids, I remembered everything.  Today I went to lunch and came back to my keys still in the ignition of my car.

5.  I am a hoarder.  Luckily for my family it's not cats or old tin cans.  I hoard office supplies, books, notebooks, running socks, and sports bras.  To the point where I say, "Wow, when did I get that?"

4.  I will sometimes put my champagne in a coffee cup - especially when it's early in the morning.  No just kidding, well when all the other glasses are waiting on the dishwasher though.

3.  I haven't cleaned under my sofa cushions in going on a year, maybe a year and a  half.  I figure that any food is petrified at this point and we may need it if the asteroid hits today.

2.  I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and stalk my friends rather than sleep.  But I DO NOT post that I am awake at 3am.

1.  I read Fifty Shades of Grey - and a few parts of it twice.  Mostly because my mind was thinking, "Now, the human body cannot do that."

Guys - What NOT to do for Valentine's Day

As you've probably become aware, Valentine's Day is just a few days away.  If you've been getting the hints from your significant others, you better get on the stick and do it now.  Here's a few hints of what NOT to do for your significant other.

Hooker Lingerie - I know you think that this is the perfect gift for both you and her but if she hasn't dressed up for you as a hooker then don't buy it.  The same is true with the value pack of white cotton Granny Panties.

Any appliance  - especially one she didn't ask for.  You will lose all man points even if you paid extra to have it installed by a Chippendale dancer.

Fixer Uppers - Don't let the lady behind the counter fool you, she does not want the Anti Wrinkle Cream for Valentine's Day - even if you're thinking she'll love even more that you shelled out $65 for a 6oz bottle.

Spanx - She needs to buy the slimming wear, you don't.  You're not supposed to notice she needs the slimming wear.

Potted plant - sure it's a living present, but honestly, if there are children in the household, how long will it live.  If you have to go with the living present, get the Chippendale guy as a singing telegram.

Chocolate - psst, she's already got a hidden stash of the chocolate she loves, you'll pick the wrong kind.  Then she'll spend the rest of the night wondering if you are trying to make her fat.

Fishing Pole - do not think of a single present that is a hint to her of what you like - hooker lingerie, fishing pole, sporting event tickets, you will be spending that special time without the love of your life, but will have a very happy best friend taking her place.

Gym Membership - really?  Of course your significant other, DOES NOT need a gym membership.  She's perfect - she has plenty of Spanx to hold everything in.

That stupid little peeing kid from Spensers - no novelty gifts - like "for the girl who has everything" or the twenty pack of different flavored condoms.  Those will be found in the back of her drawer in ten years by your children and you'll be footing the therapy bill.

Clothes - face it, where is everything article of clothing you've bought her?  Not sure?  Have you ever seen her wear it?  Not sure, trust your judgement the orange sweater just isn't her and leave the clothing shopping to her.

What can you go right with?  Gift Cards to her favorite stores.  A handwritten note of how much you love her (get your writer friend to write it.)  Schedule a house cleaning while she's at work.  Think of frivolous when thinking of gifts - fun, not what she expected and completely blow her away.  If all else fails, take her out to dinner and call it a night - especially if she's open to the hooker lingerie you gave her.