Do you look at the whole package? (watch out a little controversy)

Too many people are loud about one specific part of their personality that it burs who they really are.  We as people are growing up.  We are learning to put aside our differences.  It seems that there is more signaling out people based on their religion or political ideals than on the color of their skin?  People can tell you if someone is a Liberal or Republican before then can tell you anything else about who they really are.

I feel that you are too vocal about one specific part of yourself, you blur out the rest of the great things that you unique.  People only that one part because that is all you want them to focus on, rather than setting a great example by being a great person.  A person where people will say, "Oh really?  He's a anglovegotextiloarian?  Well, he's a great guy."  Acceptance comes when people admire and respect you because of who you are not just one part of the package.

I've always believe that it is not my place to judge, I'll leave that up to God (OK, there are few wearing bikinis out there that I just couldn't help myself on.)  I love people for who they are, not accepting or rejecting someone because of one part of their package?  If we all were open and honest about everything, and loved openly and honestly then we wouldn't have to worry about rejection.

So Sally, thank you for the whole package - I celebrate you for who you are and how you inspired many girls to reach for the stars, because you went to them.  Ride on, and rest in peace.

And they actually ate it - Asian Turkey Meatball Soup

When you are away from home, I call it campfire cooking.  You have about half of what you need to make your special dinner so you do what all Moms do - you improvise.  My hankering this evening was for an Asian style meatball soup, complete with Kale and mushrooms!  Would the boys eat it?

Ingredients:

1 lb ground turkey

Soy Sauce

Teriayki Sauce

Ginger - don't have it?  Roasted Red Pepper Jelly came in handy for me, every Southern Belle has this one.

Sesame Oil

Egg

Onion

Mushrooms

Spinach

Create a pot of brown, white or wild rice according to directions, as it simmers....

Make the meatballs - Combine egg, ground turkey, finely chopped mushrooms, finely chopped onions, finely chopped spinach, ginger, salt, pepper in a bowl.  Create small cherry tomato sized meatballs.

Heat Olive Oil in large pot, add finely chopped onion and garlic.  Saute until soft them add Vegetable Stock, Teriayki Sauce, Soy Sauce, Lemon juice, finely chopped ginger.  Simmer 15 minutes to combine the flavors, then bring to a boil.

Add the meatballs one by one to the boiling water gently so they don't break.  Cook 15-20 minutes to ensure that the meat is cooked through.

Add mushrooms and cook another 5 minutes to flavor them, finish with the spinach for half a minute to simply wilt it.

Kid version:  Put a cup of rice in a bowl, cover with ladle of soup and several meatballs.  Don't garnish, they'll pick it off anyway.

Mom Version - serve a large bowl of broth with meatballs, mushrooms and soup.  Add a salad with ginger dressing and it's perfect!

Surprisingly, they actually ate it.  One child said, "I don't like spinach," as he gobbled down the meatballs full of ground spinach - ha!  One point for the Mom!

You are not alone - NOT!

My boys have been visiting with their cousin in Nashville this week, my wonderful husband has been in Africa this week, so it's left me and the dog alone - in the mountains.  Things I learned about empty nesting:

1.  Dogs are great conversationalists, they agree with everything you say, except for a few spare burps when you give them a treat for being such a good listener.

2.  It's always OK to have a conversation with yourself, especially when there's a lot of alone time.  Just get scared when you answer your own question with, "Huh?"

3.  You think not having distractions will make you more productive?  If you are used to working under distractions, then you'll find other distractions to avoid your work.

4.  You'll be surprised at how long you house actually stays clean when you've cleaned it to provide a distraction from what you were supposed to do.

5.  Just because there's no one there to see what you do, they'll still be able to sense that you sat in bed until 11am reading Fifty Shades of Grey.

6.  It's more fun to go to the bathroom wondering who's going to walk over and open the door then leave the door open.

7.  When the children are away you can actually find things, they stay where they are supposed to stay.

8.  It's no fun having an argument with yourself.

9.  It's more fun to watch the Romantic Comedy with the family and hear them groan during the love scene then simply sigh to yourself.

10.  Funny, but they drive you crazy all day long, you'll be surprised how quickly you miss them when they are gone!

Have you ever had your first alone time in, in, in, well whenever?  What will you do with the extra time?

Don't hate me because I'm positive

Recently I've been receiving messages from people that want to remind me something I already know - life isn't perfect.  Sure in social media it can sound perfect, but really who wants to read Facebook status updates that include:

What an awful day, I want to go back to bed.

Everyone hates me, I'm going to go eat worms.

I'm fat and feel ugly and my pants don't fit.

I choose, what I choose in life - I choose to look at things with a positive attitude.  I always tell myself, "Think positive and act happy, eventually it won't be an act."  I've learned that you can sit with someone and have the pity party, or you can be the positive one and help them see the blessings rather than the faults.

I do have a great life - I am blessed with a husband that I love beyond words (which is a lot to me because that is my only constant - words) I have two kids that make me laugh sometimes out of frustration sometimes out of mirth, I have a job that travels with me that I enjoy doing and I'm blessed with friends that accept me with all my flaws.  I can mire myself in the problems and mistakes of the past or I can decide to move forward - what would you decide?

So go ahead and criticize my positive attitude, or better yet, try acting positive and you may be pleasantly surprised that soon you realize it's not an act!

Have you been targeted for being to positive in social media?  Do people hate you because you're positive?

Does this Spelunking Helmet make me look fat?

This one was NOT my idea, this one came from my son.  As I looked at the brochure, I figured looks like a nice hike through a cave, so I went and signed us up for Spelunking adventure at Worley's Cave in TN.  Our adventure started at 10am at the River Outpost of Raft Cave Hike.

We pull up to a garage, a garage at the address, everyone is looking at each other wondering, who's the guide.  When our guides pull up in a van.  They get out, wave to us, then push a piece of wood away on the garage door as his entry into what otherwise was a locked building.

"He looks like a kid," I whisper to Wolfgang.
"No, he's old.  He looks like he's 28 or something," he says back so I don't feel much better when the "kid" turns to us and says, "I'm your guide!"

We sign away our lives in waivers then drive another 20 minutes to the mouth of the cave.  Brody, the kid hands out helmets and after we put them on asks, "Everyone ready to Spelunk?"

We all yell "Yeah!"  He turns to me, "You're not going to be able to see very far, your helmet is on backwards."  Dork moment passes as I turn my helmet and put it on correctly.

We walk to the mouth of the cave, they open a big steel door, Brody turns to us, "It's to keep the bears out, but also to lock you in!"  He laughs but I can feel my heart start to speed up.  I wonder, "What does that mean?"

We step in, they close the gate with a CLANK behind us and as I walk in, I feel a full blown panic attack come on.  My mouth goes dry, my skin starts to crawl, my legs feel week and I cannot break - back to the way I felt on the swim start of my 2nd half ironman.  I start to yell out, "Wait, I can't do this."  But keep putting one shaking step in front of the other, thinking, "I've paid to do this, the kids will kill me if I pull them out.  Come on, you know you can do this."  I stop and let most pass me, start to turn and go back then stop again.  Finally after a few deep breathes, I figure, "What the hay, I've been through worse."

Our first passage is the birth canal.  I'm in the back and can only hear "birth canal" and "roll."  I turn to someone around me, "What does that mean?"

Our first space to get through is between two very large rocks, we must lie on our backs and roll (with the other rock right in front of our face) through what felt like 6 miles (a few yards) to get into the cave. I don't think about the miles of rock above me, I don't think about how I cannot go back now, I don't think about smashing the snack crackers I have in my back pack, I'm only thinking about how dizzy I feel rolling through the mud to get to the prize (a space we can stand up in again.)

We walk into the cave and I figure the way I'm going to survive this is focus on the headbeam light in front of me and that's it.  Like running sometimes, just put one foot in front of the other until you reach the end.  The floor of the cave is made of slippery mud with some footholes to find purchase, but for the most part you're on your own.

We stand at the top of a rather large bolder.  Brody (the kid) says to me, "Best way down is on your butt."
I look at him, "What does that mean?"
"Slide down on your butt and you'll go slow, slide on your feet and you'll fly down, it's up to you."
The kids all say, "COOL" and fly down the tall rock.
I figure I've got the most padding on my butt, and I really like slow at the moment so down I go with a nice tearing feeling in my pants.  Guess Ann Taylor Loft didn't make khakis for caving adventures.

We learn about the 3 point contact system, (what does that mean?) at any point during your hike three points of your body should be in contact with something.  I started with the "Ewww I'm getting really muddy," to the "I LOVE the 3 point contact system and prefer the butt method of getting down the hills."  I came to love my butt (I usually don't) because it's voluminous quality made each of my slides quite slow and easy.

The group we were with LOVED hiking with 4 boys.  Each climb consisted of a pushing and shoving match on who went first, each slide had one falling into the one ahead and laughing about it.  Each tight space as we all stared at it had a boy next to them saying, "That's nothing," as they went and played money up the slippery surface while we were on our hands and knees trying to get up to where they were.  The most adventurous?  Max!  He was in heaven there, so much so I paid the guide an extra twenty bucks to just stay close to him to keep him alive.

Phrases I will never forget from our trip:  (and what they mean)

It's a little slippery - mean you are definitely going to bust your butt.
Just go for it - means you are going to bust it again so why not try and get as far up the climb before your do.
Woo hoo - means answer me back to make sure everyone is here.
The ledge is your friend - hold on tight and don't look down.
Time to Roll - hello claustaphobia it's happy to meet you again.

We made it through 2.5 hours of boulders, ledges, rocks, slipping, sliding - through 3 floors of the cave, each climb up hitting my knees and elbows trying to make, each slide down pulling more at the hole in the butt of my pants.  We hit the river at the bottom and waded in knee deep freezing water back around to the mouth of the cave and the gate that clanked shut oh so long ago.

I was so glad that I pushed through that mind bending fear and kept putting one foot in front of the other.  I felt the same rush of adreneline from a great run that I actually survived the journey.  I looked at the tired, completely mud covered faces of the kids with me and we all grinned together.

"Man, that was awesome," I said as they all nodded with me.

"Can we go back and do it again today," Max asked Brody the guide.

Ever had an adventure that didn't really look like the brochure at all?

How to understand boys - for all my friends with girls...

Boys are special, they dance to a different tune than girls.  So whenever I get together with my friends who only have girls, I watch them look horrified at my posse and thought I could explain a bit.

Did you know there was a fart language? This is different than burp language.  It's a secret language between boys, they have all their code words coordinated between long farts and short farts.  If it is done under the armpit it is the Southern Dialect, from the lips the Northern Dialect.  So when you see them furiously pumping their arms up and down with their hand cupped under their armpit - they are conveying important information.

They don't understand niceties - boys come from men which descended from Cavemen.  This kicks in when a basket of bread is placed in the middle of a restaurant table, or the plate of nachos appears.  If you want to have them act civilized, order something they don't like - it will remain untouched.  And just like their older counterparts - don't ask them if the bathing suit looks good on you.

There is a hierarchy in the male system - boys spend all their time trying to determine who's the big cheese in the bunch.  This is accomplished by head locks, wrestling, shooting the longest spit ball, who can pee off the deck the farthest, who can punch the hardest, and who can handle being punched without crying.  They cannot sit still, so just ignore them when you are sitting at the park with the girls playing nicely and there's a WWF smackdown out behind the monkey bars.

If it is not nailed down they will eat it - they are going to stalk your girl at the restaurant table with the last few french fries until she almost screams at them, "Just go ahead and eat them."  They don't what the food is, their bodies are using fuel so efficiently that it required constant refueling.  This makes passing the expired food into them much easier, because their minds are focused on replenishment and not labels.

If it is not broken, they will break it - the boy mind is constantly trying to figure things out.  This makes them take apart your radio and put it all back together except for that one piece.  Boys have a black cloud over their heads when it comes to any type of electronic - do not allow them to touch it otherwise something will happen and the passwords are changed, the settings different or it simply doesn't work.

There's only one setting - and it's loud and non stop.  In order to accomplish their hierarchy this also includes who can be the most loud and obnoxious boy at the restaurant/pool/movie theater/doctor's office.  If they find a noise that's annoying - like flicking their tongue on the roof of their mouth while humming the Star Spangles Banner - they will continue to do this until their friends punch them to stop or someone else pays them to stop.  Then they will look around and promptly start doing it again.

The best part about boys is you get what you see - they are messy, they are loud, they are energetic, they are real.  It's OK to be horrified if you are not used to the chaos, but if you are you simply smile at the group and say, "Stop saying God Bless America in fart language."

What are some other great attributes of boys?