WTF - Holiday Gift Giving Edition

As we all know and several are breathing in a bag over - Christmas is less that two weeks away!  I thought I would share some great WTF gifts for your shopping pleasure!

Let's start with the decorations:  These are perfect.

The inflatable Christmas Wreath - perfect for the family expecting Granpa visiting and his hemmroidal problems.  This is a multi use decoration - wreath by day hemmroid pillow by night!

Who in the family doesn't like bacon?  How about bacon stockings!  That way they are still happy if they get coal, then can just cook the stockings using it!

Finally in preparation for the season, the perfect traveling pillow for that long plane ride.  The Farting Elf Neck Pillow!  It is the perfect way to ensure the seat next to you on that bus or train or plane will remain OPEN!

Now to Christmas Day:

For the outdoorsman in your life - think about the Noggin Net!  It's a hat, it's a fishing net.  Luckily the instructions that come with it include the warning to not use it as a hat when there is a fish or shark in the net.  

Think about it, 

"Earle, I got ONE!"

"Dang, I forgot the net!"

"Don't worry use my NOGGIN NET!"

"WTF?"

"Got it!"

Sounds of Earle and Darryl killing the fish.

"Gimme my hat back, my head is burning."

2 hours later

"Something smells fishy?"

You could always buy them the Birthing Doll see click here

Or if you're like me, you could always buy your husband this!

Picture this:

"Merry Christmas honey!"

He looks at it, "Advice, Meditations for men who have too much?"

"Just like you sweetie!"

"Is this a USED copy?"

He drops the book and runs to wash his hands.

Which may necessitate this gift for yourself - because you should always buy at least ONE thing for yourself!

 Happy Holidays from That Grey Area - may you enjoy all the sights, smells and chaos from a nice xanax induced fog.

What would you add to the list?

A REAL Mother's Day...

Broke?  Have money but not sure what to buy?  Here's some great free ideas for Mother's Day.

1.  Breakfast in Bed - one year my boys gave me a Miller Lite and a piece of burnt toast for Mother's Day.  Let's be honest, wouldn't you like that better than burnt eggs and weak coffee?

2.  That someone in my home would look at me and say, "Yes, I hear you."

3.  That same someone or maybe someone else will say, "You know what?  You are right.  Stabbing myself in the eye, sniffing the pepper, riding my bike off the pier, eating a whole bottle of Texas Pete was not a good idea.  I'm going to listen to you!"

4.  All the towels on the floor will mysteriously disappear and reappear folded neatly on the towel rack.

5.  I'll go through the morning routine, then stop suddenly and think, "Hey, there wasn't dog poop on the steps.  Did SOMEONE pick it up?"

6.  That I will see the bottom of the coffee cup before it turns cold.

7.  An entire shower of hot water.

8.  That I do not have to hear, "STOP!"  For just one day.....I'm begging.

9.  That there will not be greek tragedy at the dinner table.  You will eat it, you will not complain about it, AND you will like it.

10.  That everyone will come running into the room, sit next to me on the couch and say, "Wow Titannic, that's one of my FAVORITE movies."