Dear Mrs. Melang:
I am writing to you about your excessive use of the Santa Claus Parents’ Hotline. This line is meant for parents who want to change their child’s status on Santa’s list as a last minute nice list change, not as a daily rant from the Melang household.
Using Santa Claus and coal as a means to get your children to behave does not work, you should have learned that last year when we had to change the phone number due to excessive use. Please think of something different than the fifteen minute messages that begin with you saying, “you’re not going to believe this.”
Please also inform your children that the number of letters sent to Santa’s inbox changing their Christmas list is becoming excessive, also Santa gets enough letters from the children of the world, he doesn’t need your children clogging his Inbox with excuses for their behavior listed in your phone call of the day. And sending pictures of their rooms does not automatically put them on the naughty list.
Henceforth, we will be marking your emails as SPAM and hope that you will think twice before sending another letter to Santa. He is contemplating putting coal in your stocking as a reply to your "Why haven't you answered me, Santa" letter. Thank you for your understanding.
Sincerely,
Cletus Senior Santa Correspondence Elf
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