Signs you should really go back to reality

Is it really over?  Are we finishing up the last days?  Can I hold onto them for just a little bit longer?  Here's a few reasons why our Christmas Holiday and Winter Break need to end.

1.  My lounge pants have filed a restraining order - they've been abused by me for 14 days, I'm sure they'll need years of therapy they feel so dirty.

2.  My razor has filed a missing persons report on me - sure I'm in the mountains and Sasquatch type hair is normal, but having to grab the scissors before the razor is simply not good.

3.  My stove has asked me to end the separation - it misses me, and judging from my waistline I miss it too.

4.  My Vegetables are talking behind my back - they are whispering to each other that the bloated feeling and the flatulence is a result of a basic chicken tender diet for 14 days - oh and adding the jalapeno pickles does not constitute a vegetable.

5.  There is something wrong with my kids - they have spent so much qaulity time together that they, and I are just took tired to fight anymore.

6.  Facebook has filed a restraining order - I officially received a letter from Marc Zuckerberg asking me to stop clogging the Facebook database with all my witty status updates.

7.  The check engine light came on for my liver - yes, spending way too much time at a ski resort will do this.  My son actually asked his Dad for some Tamiflu for the ride up the lift pointing to the flask.

8.  I watch Lifetime Channel - I've watched so many movies that I'm down to Hallmark and Lifetime to find something new.

9.  My books miss me - I've hit mottom when my reading consists of status updates and blogs.  My books gathering dust on the side table sobbing.

10.  I can't fit in my pants.