Things That Freak Me Out!

I am supposed to be relaxing.  So to get my blood pumping, here's a list of things that freak me out:

1.  Pouring the water in the coffee maker and it ending up on the counter instead.

2.  Pour a cup of coffee from the maker and dumping most of it on the kitchen table.

3.  Shredding something with the box shredder and getting my knuckles closer and closer to the shredder.

4.  Getting the floss stuck between my teeth and having to pull it out the long way.

5.  Putting my feet on the floor in the middle of the night, and feeling something brush my ankle.

6.  Having to play "doctor" to some type of bleeding cut on my children.

7.  Having to clean a dinkleberry off the butt of my dog.

8.  Fishing the tiny little bug out of my glass of wine..

9.  That nice chomp of grit when you eat spinach, or anything at the beach.

10.  Anything wet on or around a toilet seat - especially a public bathroom.  Even if the paper towels are above the toilet, it still freaks me out.

11.  Oh and there's the garbage disposal - will you leave the spoon in there?

What freaks you out?

Things that freak me out

Here's a list of things that freak me out, feel free to add as many as you want.

10.  Waiting for the crescent roll tube to pop.

9.  Accidentally setting off the mouse trap.

8.  Reaching into the garbage disposal checking for what's blocking it.

7.  The automatic light going off in the restroom before I've exited.

6.  When you buy cheap toilet paper, and you realize it's really too thin.



5.  The scab hanging on for dear life, by one little tiny corner so it flaps.

4.  Reaching for anything that rolled underneath the couch.

3.  Waking up to a child standing silently by the side of the bed.

2.  Swimming in murky water, especially when you see that tiny head disappear back under the surface.

1.  Watching a small child's booger flap in and out of his nose.

How to cope with Monday

Why is it that Friday is so far away from Monday but Monday is so close to Friday?   Starting out the work week clawing my way out of bed, a few friends decided to give me some helpful advice

Have a purpose.  That I would find Monday's joyful if I had a purpose in life.

Oh yeah, I do have a purpose, it's called resting.  Sleeping.  Lying under my flannel sheets, listening to the rain and thinking, "I don't think I could ever feel more at peace than this very moment."  Then looking at the clock and going, "Oh well, there it goes."  

When the alarm goes off, jump out of bed right away.

That's called scaring the hell out of yourself.  Yes, that will start my day off right acting like there's a zombie killer in the house at 5am.  If I really want to do this right, I should put a nerf gun (we have plenty of those) next to my bed to complete the fantasy - nothing like a good adrenaline rush to get your morning started.

Get an extra hour of sleep by going to bed early on Sunday night

Well, that would be shortening the weekend.  Duh, we don't want to do that, the weekend is dah bomb of the week, we want it to last as long as possible and THAT'S why we stay up as late as possible.

Turn your shower to cold just before you get out.

Honestly, I think my husband put my friends up to this because the jump out of bed and cold shower thing only achieve one thing - me in the Emergency Room with someone holding the electric panels above me yelling, "Clear."

Move your alarm to across the room.

This causes the same jump out of bed, "What the heck is that?" reaction that yes, does get the blood flowing but away from the heart.  Plus if its all the way over there, my walk back to bed after hitting the snooze button is not comfortable on the cold floor.

Have you tried coffee?

Of course, I've tried coffee.  It's the only thing that makes Monday mornings tolerable.

Then my zen friend, the spiritual one - does this happen every Monday, do you think it is a sign of some type of long term emotional problem?

Yes, it happens every monday.  Yes it is a very good sign of some type of longterm emotional problem - as Bob Geldof once quoted it perfectly, "I hate Mondays."

What's your go to remedy for Monday morning blues?