WTF - Gingerbread House Style

Every year, like childbirth, I forget how much I hate putting together the Gingerbread House. 

Here is the scenario in our home:

Buy the Gingerbread house kit because who has time to bake all those pieces.
Leave it on the floor.
The dog gets into it, nibbles the pieces.
Get pissed.

Go out and buy another Gingerbread Kit because it is a Christmas tradition dammit.
Put it on top of the refrigerator. Forget about it.
Three days before Christmas remember it is there.
Get pissed.

Invite a few friends because you need other Moms sharing the wine and the misery of putting together the house.

Open the box, everyone gets excited as all the candy pieces fall out. 
Some of the gumdrops seem a little stale.
Kids descend on the candy like locusts, eating what they can reach.
Get pissed, slap away little hands, pour a glass of wine.

Forgot you were supposed to make the icing and put the house together ahead of time.
Realize how much fun it is for 6 kids crowding around you as you try piecing the house together.
The house falls down.
Kids groan, reach for candy.
Get pissed, drink more wine.

Kids wreck the your home as you sweat getting the Gingerbread house to stand.
Finally the house stands, with great fanfare tell the kids they can decorate it.
There are 2 gum drops and only peppermints left, they ate the rest of the stuff. 
The kids fight over who gets the last two gumdrops.
One licks both of the gumdrops, effectively claiming them.
The other falls backwards on their chair.
The Gingerbread house falls down again.
Get pissed, open a second bottle of wine.

Pull out the candy you saved for their stockings.
Jerry-rig the pieces of the house together with staples, and toothpicks.
The kids have lost interest in decorating the house, they are now wrestling

Let the kids eat the rest of the icing, and the candy you pulled out.
Drink wine with your friends wondering why the kids are going crazy.

Finally feed the rest of the house to the dog, something you should have done in the first place.

Gingerbread Men - Nailed it!

So our yearly tradition of making gingerbread men,

How I picture it in my mind:

 I think we nailed it, don't you?

Of course, the pinterest picture of the cookies

Definitely nailed that one!

Oh yeah, we should be bakers!

Kids, I need you to wait until after dinner to eat the cookies.

Yep nailed that one too!

Gingerbread Men and Winter Snack

Fun story written for the kids in max's class, they LOVE it when I use their names in my stories, of course it has a gingerbread theme!

Twas the party before Winter Break, when all through Old Richmond School Mike, Samiya and Tanner were excited, parties are cool. Tyler ran to the table of crafts made with care, In hopes that good eats would soon would be there. Julius and Jessica were nestled all snug in their seats, While visions of cookies and candies danced at their feet! And Mr. Brookshire with his clipboard and Mrs. Lynch with her tea, Settled with a big pile of gifts with glee! When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Max sprang from his desk to see what was the matter. Away to the door Jayden and Hannah flew like a flash, Emma even jumped over the bucket of trash! A funny looking schoolbus pulled into the lot, Katie knew something special it brought. When, what to Eli’s wondering eyes should see, But a big gingerbread Man and all of his friends set free. He was a happy cookie, so yummy and nutritious, Daylan knew in a moment it they’d be delicious. More rapid than runners Gingerbread ran down the hall, Followed by all his pals, big and small! "Come now my gingerbread friends, let’s go! There’s a party at Mrs. Lynch’s you know! They have special icing so today we are a treat! Now dash away! Dash away! You’re cookies to eat! As quick as a cat down the hall they flew, Jumping into Mrs. Lynch’s Classroom two by two. In front of Claire and Jessica, they jumped and lay still, Waiting for Ava and Austin to decorate then eat their fill . Kaden loved the icing, Jayden the gummy bears and sparkles for fun, Cecelia even put M&M’s on some. Aristotle and Abriya filled their cookies with glee, Creating beautiful works of art for all to see. No one saw Santa hanging beside the back door, Enjoying the party while tapping his foot on the floor. He drove the bus bringing the gingerbread joy, Laughing as he watched all the little girls and boys. His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! He laughed as Max put a red hot for a nose, And chuckled as Ava put sprinkles on her girl’s toes. One gingerbread chuckled as a Tanner tickled his belly, Another squirmed as a Emma squirted on some jelly! Head to toe, covered with pretty white frosting, A ginger girl thought this was better than any costume. One little gingerbread dude hung in a corner shaking, He really had no idea what they were making. What if they made him look like Justin Bieber or a GIRL, he’s not wearing a tutu for a twirl! He sprang to his feet, trying to run from the room, But Santa caught him at the door before he zoomed. Don’t worry young man, this is a party of fun, "Mrs. Lynch 2nd grade class will make you look better than none! So the little gingerbread man went and had some fun, He got a blue frosting coat and a gummie bear when done. Pulling away in his strange bus, they heard Santa say, Happy Winter Break Old Richmond have a fun day!