Finding The Wild Side - Poetry

Finding that wild side

It is always there

sometimes hidden

behind the mundane

the routine of

responsibility.

Waiting, patiently

For that moment

when your guard is down

setting it free

roaming

creating new adventures

making wonderful

decisions

until

something like

reality 

puts it in place.

New Shoes, New Adventure-I think?

 Low visibility at the ski slopes brought me home early.  I hate not exercising, also wanting to enjoy the snow.  Aha!  My snowshoes, why not take an adventure back in the woods with my new shoes?

Signs I may not be ready?
First I have to have my son show me how to size them, they blew away off the shoes as I tried to put them on outside.

Then I almost fall down the front steps into the snowy day.

I round the house, making my way up in the forest, enjoying the quiet.  The wind making the trees knock against each other, a few birds from my bird feeder following me, explaining that the seed is almost gone.


I spend some time walking up hill, wondering how people run in these.  My heart racing, sweating.

Then I stop.  Wait a minute, which way was the house?

Don't panic.

Take inventory.
Check iPhone - almost full charge.  Good, rescue can call me. Conserve your battery life.

Oh wait, I'll just use Find My iPhone for them to find me!

I'm so smart.

Have the Darwin moment when I realize that I could "just follow my footsteps back" as I hear someone yelling,

"Mom, I see you!"

Next adventure on the snowshoes will involve bread crumbs the birds don't like or

perhaps,

an established trail?

All I Need to Be Happy

The list has gone from very complex and long, to simple and peaceful.

Warm bacon fresh from the frying pan.
Snuggling with a baby smelling that fresh baby scent.
A nice back hug from my husband
Running on a snowy day.
A really great glass of red wine
Time with my sisters
Finding a spot next to a creek on a lazy summer day
Waking up late on a Sunday morning because there is nothing planned.
That feeling when you can be there for someone
Sitting outside in front of a fire wrapped in blankets
Getting to the best part of the book and there's still pages left.
When my writing clicks and I feel the story.
Thinking about my boys
That song that makes you feel it
Frankincense
A really good belly laugh
The smell of a new journal
Learning something new
Watching my bird feeders
Soft buttery filet mignon with a blue cheese sauce
Finishing an endurance race - yes, that rockstar feeling
Hitting a groove skiing where everything becomes automatic
Powder days, of course
Standing on top of the world experiencing God's majesty
Yoga

Happiness cannot be touched, don't tie it up in things.

Poetry - By The Light of a Candle

By the light of a candle,
I can contemplate life
Take notes
Cross a few things off of my list
Add a new adventure

By the light of a candle
I can dream about my future
Celebrate my past
Put a few things to rest
Relish in the present

By the light of a candle
I can see things clearly
Accepting change
Letting yesterday's shadows play
my past drifting off with the smoke
Into the bright light of promise

You can do it all - Do you really want to?

In this day and age, everyone is in such a rush.  Everything we do is done quickly, without thought or any option to savor the moment.  We are taught that multi tasking is the norm, that the nagging feeling of something left undone means you need to do more.

Why do we have to do it all?  Do we really have to embody this?  Can't we stop for a minute and think, "Do we really want to do it all?"

I used to be like that, I couldn't say no, I was always adding something to my plate, I was the queen of multi tasking.  Then I stopped and took inventory and realized:

When I was multi tasking I was doing pretty much everything just to get it done.  There was no joy, no sense of accomplishment, just determination to finish and move to the next task.

A lot of the things I was doing was to please other people, or making me look good in their eyes.

My children were getting used to me being detached, too busy to engage, I was telling myself that  being a busy mother was sign of a good mother?

Scheduling activities and adding tasks to my family made us active, but it didn't really make us happy.

Why was I so tired?  Was it the endless lists running through my mind in the middle of the night?  Or was it that I was up late finishing things?

So I decided I didn't have to do it all, actually I didn't want to do it all.

I started by removing things from my list that didn't belong there.  I wrote out all the activities, the volunteer work, the hobbies, examining each one.

"Does this bring me joy?"  What a loaded question with some.  If I found myself saying, "But they need me" and not feeling joy, then it had to go.  I found a core group of things that I found "joy" in and even though bowing out of some was difficult, the freedom and peace that came was worth the work.

I learned to give myself a break.  So what if I forgot the salad with our dinner.  No one noticed, stop beating myself up about it.  Not every meal has to be made from scratch of all organic ingredients - guess what, we are still here.  Rotisserie chicken can be your best friend.

Clearing the clutter clears the clutter from the mind.  Moving through the house one drawer at a time allows time to really ponder each item, you'll find joy in giving away what you do not use and more joy in the peace of an organized household.

I don't have to have company all the time.  I can be happy being by myself.  If I am not in the mood to meet a friend, I'm going to say it.  And if they are my friend, they will understand.

It was amazing when I removed some activities from my family's schedule.  No one complained, in fact there were a few sighs of relief, and not all of them was from me.

Sure you can do it all, but perhaps it is better to do less and do it with a full heart and a peaceful mind.  Sure we can have it all, but do we really want it?

Sometimes the best of love is messy

I may be a romantic at heart, but some of my friends have become skeptic on the definition of love.  Love doesn't always have to be pretty, sometimes it is in the messiest moments that you find true love.  What is love?

Love is that gentle touch that makes you quiver, or the gentle touch signaling they are there.
Love is watching them help a child, and not butting in.
Love is waiting anxiously to see them again.
Love is disagreeing with them, but trying to see their point.
Love is smiling when you think of them and you think of them often.
Love is standing there with the bucket when the flu hits your home.
Love is lying next to them, feeling peace they are there.
Love is waking them up anyway - because you can.
Love is being proud of showing your body to them because they make you feel beautiful.
Love is that long car ride, and not having conversation because it is needed
Love is enjoying that long silent car ride.
Love is watching someone working on something and pitching in because you want to, not because you need to.
Love is admitting you were wrong, and being forgiven.  For real.
Love is being yourself and feeling comfortable around them.
Most of all, love is loving yourself first, this helps you accomplish all of the above.

Siri have you taken notes from my children?

This is why I never use Siri.  She acts exactly like my children.  Sound familiar?

I push the button on my phone.

She beeps.

I start talking.  She cuts me off before I am finished.

Answers with something I didn't want to hear.

I press the button and ask again.

She just disappears.  No answer, nothing.

I press the button again, frustrated.

She tells me she doesn't understand.

I try rewording the question, dumbing it down.

She comes back with something totally unrelated to the question.

I attempt several more times, hoping that I can get her to do what I want.

Finally, I give up and go find the answer myself.

A New Year, A New Adventure

I was asked to sum up my year, and couldn't even get started.  Here's a few things I learned in 2014.....

Things sag, but if you let your attitude sag then you are in big trouble.

For those things that sag, there are other things that pull them back up.

For an attitude sag, all you need is a little time with family.

Each grey hair is equal to every time you laugh, at least that is what I tell myself because dang!  I have a lot of them!

Good friends will always lift your spirits, even if it is from two hours away, a computer screen in a distant land or sitting next to you in front of the fire.  There was a wise man who sang, "I get by with a little help from my friends."

Mistakes will be made, you will fall.

The most important thing is the getting up and brushing yourself off and continuing on.

Leave the trail dust behind because the journey is ahead of you, not behind you.  Get to the finish line one way or the other.

But if you plan on falling, always remember to tuck and roll, because when you fall, plan on falling spectacularly!

Love openly and honestly and you'll be surprised at the results.

Do a few things naked.  You'll be surprised at how your perspective changes!

Always do your thing, never have any regrets.

And finally, the most important thing I learned.

Love yourself and it is amazing how many people will do the same.

Happy 2015, here's to an amazing year of new possibilities!