Truth in Advertising

Let's put a few real commercials into perspective:

Benadryl - the young child parent's dream.  Need a full night of sleep - we are the answer.

Hot Sauce - Yes, you know you want to do even if you were the one that taught him that word.  So go ahead.

Bargain Toilet Paper - yes we are sandpaper, but you are buying us you cheap shits.

Disposable Douche - Take that disposable douche and throw it away - whether it is an actual person or not.

Lubricant - if she's not happy you will suffer for the rest of your life.  Make her happy, suck it up.

Pregnancy Test - if you are too young call your parents, if you are too old call your grandkids for directions.

Lite Beer - yes, we really are for wusses.

Mini Pads - young girls we're your rite of passage, old women we're your last resort.

Deodorant - we're not just for your underarms anymore.

Internet Dating - really, put your real picture up on your profile and you'll have much better luck.

Wine - because sometimes it's better than a shotgun.  And your best friend is on vacation so you'll not be able to hide the body.

Any new commercials you'd like to write?  I'm thinking of starting a company.