Today I wine....

Today, I WINE, I mean Whine!

The Wine In The Box - we call this Chateaux de BlackBoque  We like this wine because it keeps your secret.  It's not that stinkin little bottle that says, "Hey alkie you've had your two glass limit."  No the box whispers, "It's OK, there's plenty in my 6 bottles for 19.99."

The *sigh* wine - this is the bottle of wine you find in the sale section of the grocery store.  Buy it thinking, "probably cooking wine" then get the nice surprise of a REALLY GOOD bottle of wine.  You skip back to the grocery store and then "sigh" it's back at it's regular price which is MUCH HIGHER than your good old friend Chateux de BlackBoque.

Cooking Wine - yes, I know everyone argues that there is no such thing as cooking wine.  And those Pinterest junkie chicks who actually freeze leftover wine (when is there ever leftover wine) in ice cube trays are crazy witches.  But this bottle of wine you bought because the label was pretty and made it look pretty expensive then it actually tastes so back you decide it is, ACK! in fact "cooking wine."

Beauty Queen Bottle- this is the sneaky bottle sitting on the shelf next to your Chateaux de BlackBoque that has such a pretty label that you are compelled to buy it.  Then you have buyers remorse for spending THAT on a bottle of wine and convince yourself that you'll start a wine cellar with this first expensive (over 4.99) bottle of wine.  Unfortunately your wine cellar goes out the window when Chateaux de BlackBoque runs out and Beauty Queen bottle becomes tramp under the bleachers bottle.

Bait and Switch Wine - this is my new favorite at Trader Schmoes.  You walk into but a case of 3 buck Chuck (2.99 a bottle, cheaper than Chateaux de BlackBoque) and walk out with 400 dollars worth of crap.  Well played Trader Schmoes, well played.

Kid's Wine - this is that "great mothering" moment when your child says very loudly in the grocery store, "Hey Mom, let's get some kids wine," holding up a bottle of sparkling apple cider.  Your not sure if you are horrified with them having the idea of "kids wine" or everyone in the wine section of the grocery store looking your way.

There, I've confessed.  What's your favorite wine?