Oh Happy Day! Some Targets allow wine drinking while shopping!

Target!  You did it again!

You read my mind!  First Chuck E Cheese serves beer, and now Target serves wine!

Click here for the story!

Wait a minute.  Do you have an ulterior motive?

Are you serving us wine so we're in a good mood?

Not yelling at our children?
Saying yes to the $80 professional Tech Deck mini skateboard ramp?
Stumbling through the dollar section and spending a mortgage payment?

If you are going to serve wine, then be prepared Target:

Make sure all the karaoke machines are out of batteries.
Hide the light sabres.


Do put out the box set of Pretty Little Liars, it will well out in an hour.

Put a box of tissues in every dressing room, especially during summer and bikini season.

Prepare for beds to be used, and chairs, and cots, and towels.

Order extra boxes of chocolate bars, potato chips and of course, ice cream.

The above items will usually come down the conveyor belt empty.

Create a lounge area out of sale furniture, it will be used that way anyway.

There will be "clean up in aisle 3" followed by "clean up in aisle 4" followed by "clean up in aisle 5"

Add extra employees, you'll find lots of abandoned shopping carts full of Massimo clothes we don't need.

Best of all, prepare for an increase in sales, because drinking and Target shopping are like being hungry and grocery shopping!

Today I wine....

Today, I WINE, I mean Whine!

The Wine In The Box - we call this Chateaux de BlackBoque  We like this wine because it keeps your secret.  It's not that stinkin little bottle that says, "Hey alkie you've had your two glass limit."  No the box whispers, "It's OK, there's plenty in my 6 bottles for 19.99."

The *sigh* wine - this is the bottle of wine you find in the sale section of the grocery store.  Buy it thinking, "probably cooking wine" then get the nice surprise of a REALLY GOOD bottle of wine.  You skip back to the grocery store and then "sigh" it's back at it's regular price which is MUCH HIGHER than your good old friend Chateux de BlackBoque.

Cooking Wine - yes, I know everyone argues that there is no such thing as cooking wine.  And those Pinterest junkie chicks who actually freeze leftover wine (when is there ever leftover wine) in ice cube trays are crazy witches.  But this bottle of wine you bought because the label was pretty and made it look pretty expensive then it actually tastes so back you decide it is, ACK! in fact "cooking wine."

Beauty Queen Bottle- this is the sneaky bottle sitting on the shelf next to your Chateaux de BlackBoque that has such a pretty label that you are compelled to buy it.  Then you have buyers remorse for spending THAT on a bottle of wine and convince yourself that you'll start a wine cellar with this first expensive (over 4.99) bottle of wine.  Unfortunately your wine cellar goes out the window when Chateaux de BlackBoque runs out and Beauty Queen bottle becomes tramp under the bleachers bottle.

Bait and Switch Wine - this is my new favorite at Trader Schmoes.  You walk into but a case of 3 buck Chuck (2.99 a bottle, cheaper than Chateaux de BlackBoque) and walk out with 400 dollars worth of crap.  Well played Trader Schmoes, well played.

Kid's Wine - this is that "great mothering" moment when your child says very loudly in the grocery store, "Hey Mom, let's get some kids wine," holding up a bottle of sparkling apple cider.  Your not sure if you are horrified with them having the idea of "kids wine" or everyone in the wine section of the grocery store looking your way.

There, I've confessed.  What's your favorite wine?