"Everything is a reasonable price until the hoarder in your pops out and you buy the whole lot, then it gets expensive." - husband after trip to Target.
"I can tell you one hundred times that you will break that if you keep playing with it that way, or I can drink a glass of wine and watch." - mom, with new electronic.
"Everything's easier when the kids are in bed asleep." - husband every night.
"If I make it, you eat it. No, you do not have another choice, I just put energy into making it." - Mom, standing in kitchen with long knife in hand.
"Some mornings it's just easier to sigh and go with the sugar options." - Mom at the Krispy Kreme drive thru speaker.
"Which would you rather have on that cut, alcohol or peroxide. No there is no other choice." - Mom to child who will not let anyone clean out his cut.
"Oh, you so have a visit from Evil Mommy coming mister!" - Mom to kids when looking in their bedroom.
"Am I listening to you? What?" - Wife, to husband when watching Criminal Minds."You're lucky you're cute because you're the reason I tinkle every time I sneeze." - Mom to youngest when he will not stop singing the same song line over and over again.
"Don't have time to clean? Just lower the blinds, everything looks cleaner in a dimmer light." - Mom, to kids, when she wants to see a movie instead.
"You always have something to say, sometimes the better option is to simply not say it." Mom to girlfriend when telling about argument with hubby from night before.
"Leave my hoarder closet alone, I need all that shit." - Wife, to husband when he opens the door that should not be opened.
"Leave it there. Why? Because I put it there. I won't find it again if you move it." - Wife, to husband when he tries to organize her kitchen."Seriously, order the Diet Coke. It counteracts the calories in the Big Mac." Mom to girlfriend after girls nite out.
"I shall repeat myself because there is a big difference between what I just said, and what you thought you just heard." - Me to myself, in my head.
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