There is heroin in Trader Joes

Trader Joes - this black hole masks itself as a grocery store.  Sure any sane individual can walk in and actually get groceries and walk out, but this store is designed for the other 98% of us, those that have absolutely no will power.  You start very calmly, thinking you are picking up your groceries at a great price and feeling like a great Mom because most of what you buy is organic (score)!  Then you move from only focusing on what you need to making the mistake of looking up into the spawn of temptation - the upper shelves.

Trader Joes is the only store I can walk into and justify to myself that I really do need, Salted Caramels, Dark Chocolate Peppermint Bark, Cookie Dough Butter, Red Licorice AND Dark Chocolate Almond Drizzled Biscotti.  Any normal grocery store and I'd sail right past any type of sweet and go straight for the protein bars or fresh fruit.  No, here it's like I become a crazed lunatic, wandering like a zombie down the aisles of the store, pulling things from the top shelf and carefully piling them into my shopping cart.  Add a case of wine for under 40 bucks and I've satisfied every vice in a one stop shopping, well, two stop shopping - one extra stop at Frederick's of Hollywood.

When you think you have the Trader Joe secret licked, when you think you can be strong and not buy anything you don't need - they come at you from another angle.

"Would you like a free sample of one of our products?"
"What is it?"
"English Toffee laced with Heroin and topped with Almonds,  our special recipe, a free sample."
"Why of course it is."
"Sure."

$362.54 dollars later, walking out in a case of wine and a full shopping cart, while holding a mile long register receipt, you're wondering, "How did that happen?"

Secretly, I think they pump oxygen into the store, while wafting smells of baking cookies and making fudge so resistance is futile.  I'm waiting now for the online version, when you order from the comfort of your home and go to pick up your groceries.  But wait, what if they make me walk inside to get them?  $465.72 dollars later.