WTF - Doll Edition

There's a news story circulating about a California woman, wanting to spread a smile, was leaving porcelain dolls on the doorsteps of neighbors.  Dolls that looked like the neighbors or the neighbor's children.  Granted a few people were freaked out about this, so it got me thinking, what if someone left.....

I don't know if you remember my WTF regarding the Birth Doll - for a funny read click here.  Here's a small preview:

Human Centipede Doll - have you seen that movie?  If not, just watch the trailer.  This is great one if you are trying to get a neighbor to put a For Sale sign in their front yard..

We always love education.  This would be perfect for that child that likes telling everyone in the neighborhood all about the birds and bees, because he's just learned them.  I think this would work on keeping him quiet.  He'll be too busy trying to fit all four of those little minions back in.

This doesn't have to say, "You could end up this way."  This could say, "Maybe you need to make different clothing choices?"

Finally, just find a doll that looks like you and put it in the window of your living room.  It is probably one of the best deterrents for robbers out there.  Wow, how did they find such a likeness?

Of course, it is always a good idea to add a boyfriend.

Or better yet:

Because we don't know when all those hands may come in handy, if you know what I mean.

What doll would you add to a neighbor's doorstep?

WTF - Birth Doll?

OK, I am very excited about a new addition to the Melang EXTENDED family - Hendrix Westmoreland.  And I am really glad that many parents are enlightened.  As a writer for Forsyth Family Magazine, I get emails for products to test for our readers - families.

Enter the Birth Doll - a doll that shows the process of birth so children can understand at an early age.  The doll advertised allows Momma to explain to little Henry how he was born naturally, while his sister was born by C-Section.

 Where do I begin?  First of all both of the dolls have mothers that look like they are on drugs - and believe me after my two experiences with child birth - drugs are a good thing!

Then I think about my young child playing with these dolls:

Your child starts playing with the doll by pulling the baby out of the Momma and the cord is stuck - well of course they continue to pull it?  Would I say, "Yes, that's the way I remember it?"  Or would I coach the inner doctor in them, "you must coach the baby out gently."

And what if they start shoving the baby back up the Momma?  Would I say, "No honey, once you were ready to be born, I was more for pulling the baby out that shoving back in.  And a lot of you, once you start working for a living would probably wish you could get shoved back in?"  or do I say what I am really thinking, "Out or in - make a decision."

Of course, my son pulls the baby out and tosses him to the side.  This makes me think of his little brother.

What they did not get in the dolls correct - is this:
the pained look on their face.
The boobs the size of NFL footballs
The baby should be the side of a NFL football because this is what it feels you are passing.
the husband standing there saying, "Push!"  Until the wife yells, "SHUT UP!"
and the biggest problem?

Everyone is quiet.  No one is quiet in the birthing room.

So no, I think came up with a better way to educate my children about the birthing process -

Take them to the local farm, where in one day:
We explained why the one horse "really likes" the other horse.
They watched a hen vent an egg with horror.
The cute baby lamb with the umbilical cord hanging from it
To the back of the sheep that gave birth.

Believe me, I think this was the best birth control lesson ever taught.

I'm taking them back when they turn 13.

Have you seen this doll?

Oh Barbie, you are a bad girl!

I am a mother of boys, so I don't understand the whole Barbie thing.  Visiting some friends and playing in a little girls room, here's some tell tale signs that Barbie's had a bad night:

The Dream bus is sitting on it's side miscellaneous outfits sitting on the floor.

The batteries in the play toilet are dead from too much flushing.

Prince Charming somehow lost his pants during the evening.

G.I.Joe is duct taped to the bed with Superman duct tape.

The children of Ken and Barbie are piled in a corner without any clothes on.

There's something sticky in Barbie's hair.

Cinderella lost her dress this time around, not a shoe.

Ken is wearing Snow White's dress.

My suggestion to Mattel?  Paint some clothes on the poor girl so when she's stripped, as all girls will do, she still has some decency left!

What would you add if Barbie went on a bender at your home?