WTF - You Can't Make This UP

Here's a REAL News story.  Seriously.

The Real Deal.

Found on a popular news site.

Woman Gives Birth To A Lizard.

Click Woman Gives Birth To A Lizard

There's an angry mob looking for the poor 31 year old, and scientists are saying she had a phantom pregnancy.  They're saying that the poor lizard was just going for a walk when a woman accidentally gave birth on him and lo and behold he's got a new Momma.

But it got me thinking.

I remember when our first son was born.  Both of us getting a look at that baby for the first time and thinking, "What the....."

He could have been misinterpreted as a lizard.  He had a long chisel shaped head, goo all over him, not exactly the births I'd watched on TV where they put this beautiful clean baby on the mother who has all of her makeup on, not sweating from pushing a basketball out, in a nightie, looking at her man with total love in her eyes as she holds the youngun for the first time.

Sure we were elated with the addition to our family, but had someone not known they could have mistaken him for a little alien or even, yes, a lizard.

So before you stone that poor women, remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, that a mother loves her child no matter what.

A friend once said to me, looking at my baby, "You know, why is it that beautiful celebrities have such ugly babies?  Why, your child is just gorgeous!"

What?

WTF - Birth Doll?

OK, I am very excited about a new addition to the Melang EXTENDED family - Hendrix Westmoreland.  And I am really glad that many parents are enlightened.  As a writer for Forsyth Family Magazine, I get emails for products to test for our readers - families.

Enter the Birth Doll - a doll that shows the process of birth so children can understand at an early age.  The doll advertised allows Momma to explain to little Henry how he was born naturally, while his sister was born by C-Section.

 Where do I begin?  First of all both of the dolls have mothers that look like they are on drugs - and believe me after my two experiences with child birth - drugs are a good thing!

Then I think about my young child playing with these dolls:

Your child starts playing with the doll by pulling the baby out of the Momma and the cord is stuck - well of course they continue to pull it?  Would I say, "Yes, that's the way I remember it?"  Or would I coach the inner doctor in them, "you must coach the baby out gently."

And what if they start shoving the baby back up the Momma?  Would I say, "No honey, once you were ready to be born, I was more for pulling the baby out that shoving back in.  And a lot of you, once you start working for a living would probably wish you could get shoved back in?"  or do I say what I am really thinking, "Out or in - make a decision."

Of course, my son pulls the baby out and tosses him to the side.  This makes me think of his little brother.

What they did not get in the dolls correct - is this:
the pained look on their face.
The boobs the size of NFL footballs
The baby should be the side of a NFL football because this is what it feels you are passing.
the husband standing there saying, "Push!"  Until the wife yells, "SHUT UP!"
and the biggest problem?

Everyone is quiet.  No one is quiet in the birthing room.

So no, I think came up with a better way to educate my children about the birthing process -

Take them to the local farm, where in one day:
We explained why the one horse "really likes" the other horse.
They watched a hen vent an egg with horror.
The cute baby lamb with the umbilical cord hanging from it
To the back of the sheep that gave birth.

Believe me, I think this was the best birth control lesson ever taught.

I'm taking them back when they turn 13.

Have you seen this doll?