WTF - Gym Style

The nice weather is here, I'm outside as much as possible and for very good reason.  There are reasons why I do not like going to the gym, and there are reasons I do like going to the gym.  We'll start with the bad news.


Reason Number One:  Those white spandex tights you think are not see through, well they are.  And the Juicy on the back of your underwear was the reason I spit water all over the treadmill.

Reason Number Two:  I don't need to see you without a shirt.  Believe me, there are a few I wouldn't mind, but please put your shirt back on.

Reason Number Three:  There is nothing worse than a strange smell on a yoga mat.  I have now purchased my own after running screaming for the shower after one particular class.

Reason Number Four:  If I wanted porn, I'd watch it at home.  Listening to you moan like a bad movie when lifting weight is not doing it.

Reason Number Five:  Those ladies walking around the locker room like they own it naked.  Especially when they come up to me while I'm naked saying, "I like your bra, where did you buy it?" Personal space people!

Reason Number Six:  An extra bubble in the hot tub.  Where the hell did that come from?

Finally, sometimes going to the gym can make you dumb.  Maybe it's something in the air, or something in the weights.

I went to the gym, with bad weather figured I'd take a run on the treadmill.  Set my RunKeeper, started the treadmill, and got in a nice 6 mile run.  Feeling refreshed, I looked down at my App.

What the hell?  It says I didn't do anything!  I just ran 6 miles.

What is wrong with this thing?  I think as I shake it.  Maybe I need to update it again.

I pause.

Oh.

I was running on a treadmill.  I really did go nowhere.

What are your favorite things about the gym!