WTF - Belly Wrapping Questions By Boys

So they were supposed to be out biking for at least an hour.

I was planning 30 minutes.

Enough time to get my Pinterest inspired belly wrap up and where it should be.

But they came back in mid wrap.

The oldest walked into the kitchen, yelled, "Oh my God," and covered his eyes.

The youngest was silent and simply ran back out the front door.

****

30 minutes later - when they deemed it was safe to enter the house and not witness Mom's House of Torture.  They walked into the kitchen, where I sat, calm, checking Facebook.

They walked slowly looking my body up and down.

"Are you still doing it," the youngest asked.

"What," I asked.

"You know, that thing you were doing, with the green stuff and the plastic."

I look at him, "I wasn't hiding a dead body, I was just detoxifying my body with a homemade Pinterest wrap."

They both look at me.  "Is it still on," the oldest whispered, acting like I've got the ebola virus under the plastic and it could infect them.

"Yes."  I say, taking a step toward them.  They both step back.

Then they are curious.

"Are you wrapped in plastic," one asks.

"Yep," I answer.

"All the way down," the youngest adds.

"Yep," I answer.

They both look at each other, I'm wondering if they will disown me for my vanity.  Or if they will never see their mother again with out plastic on her body.  Perhaps they will love me and accept me, wrap and all because I am-----their mother.

"What happens if you fart?"


Wow.  I never thought of that.