WTF - You Named Yours That?

Readers beware - this post contains words such as penis and vagina.  Oh wait, I think I was trying to say it was PG-13.  Maybe because it contains the words penis and vagina.

Everyone has special names in their lives.

Our significant other can be our "Pookey Bear," or "Smoochie Pants."

Makes me wonder if the trend of naming that Thang (you know THAT thang, down there Smoochie Pants) is still in full force.

Don't get me wrong.  We had our pet names for IT.  Something we used and laughed about in the early days of dating and marriage.  Then we simply stopped using them, or maybe forgot about them.

Secretly I think childbirth makes parents look at all of that plumbing in a different way.  How can you still call that part that created half of the miracle screaming in the crib My Dingaling? Or The One Eyed Wonder Muscle?  Plus as parents some of us even use funny names for our child's parts as they grow up (Hoo Hah, Tinkleman, Penis.)  Finally, with changing diapers and looking at that stuff all day - it kind of takes away the fun of MR. Fancy Pants.  When Mom and Dad hit the sack (and not for sleep) they usually don't go for the cuteness of, ""Is Mr. Fancy Pants ready for some Loosey Goosey to come and visit?"

So in homage to all those out there, I took a silent poll of friends asking if they still, well, you know, have a name.  Surprisingly all said YES!  And some shared:  (Disclaimer, in no way does any of these names resemble anyone I know willingly or unwilling.  And not a single one is MINE!)

No, I am not talking about the fur burger or baby cannon, the kidney poker, or joy stick.  I'm talking about real names!

His:  Mr. Rogers   Hers:  Kitty Kat

His:  Pelvis   Hers:  Pussilla

His:  O'Toole   Hers:  O'Hare

His:  Dickey  Hers:  Honey

His:  Lord Voldemort   Hers:  Hermoine

His:  Skinny   Hers:  Hairy

His:  Moonshine   Hers:  CuntryPie

If you don't have a name and decide you can always go with movie names to get a good laugh.  Some of my girlfriends had me in stitches:

No Country for Old Men
The Abyss
The Never Ending Story
Taken
 Of course, Take 2

Now for the guys:  (disclaimer, this my girlfriends list)

GoldFinger
Lethal Weapon
The Hobbit
Easy Rider
The Never Ending Story

and we all laughed on:  Gone in 60 Seconds

So lighten up and have some fun.  Really, get back to those days when you used to chase each other around the house saying "Mr. HooHah has a story to tell Starshine!"  But of course make sure the kids are either a:  Asleep or B: at a friends because That Grey Area is not responsible for any therapy bills resulting from the above story.