Why didn't the sanitary napkin say, "Sticky side down?" I mean, really, BE SPECIFIC!!
Why can't my treadmill count in glasses of wine, what I can fill up with the night after my workout.
"6 glasses of wine" or 900 calories - which one makes more sense.
Rather than the calorie count on the Krispy Kreme doughnut box, it should show number of doughnuts based on shrinkage of pant size. 6 doughnuts = sausage casings.
100 Calorie packs - they should just say, "Why did you even buy us?" when you eat the entire box, one 100 calorie pack at a time.
Alcohol Warning - sure it says "could cause dizziness, loss of memory, hot flashes," why did it not say, "Could cause possible pregnancy." Had I known.
Why wasn't there a warning on Facebook, "Could become addictive, causing you to stalk your ex lovers, fight with political opponents, and realize you are not the perfect Mom."And on the marriage certificate - "May cause memory lapses, mood swings, periods of confusion and pregnancy."
Skiing down a ski slope, there's a very large pine tree in the middle, with a CAUTION sign attached to it. Really? I guess some poor dude thought he could ski through a tree!
Real warning on Spandex pants - "Will not make your but look small, but can possibly smooth out the cottage cheese."
On the bra - "Do not use as a sling shot after a long day."
And finally on Children:
"Could cause periods of hallucinations, repressed anger, hot flashes, AND memory loss."
But who heeds warnings anyway?
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