Help I,ve fallen in the TSA line

How do you make it through the TSA line?  Here's some easy steps:

Easiest way to not get strip searched?  Strip first and walk through naked.

Take your brass nuckles and put them in the bag of the person ahead of you.

Let them do every type of metallic scan, then casually say, "Oh, I know what it is.  I forgot and left my Ben Wah Balls in.  Do you need to keep searching?"

Walk around saying loudly, "Man!  everyone's feet here STINK!"

If they ask if you have anything to declare, tell them you are allergic to latex.

Go through in a toga explaining it is the dress of your people.

Go through in a kilt saying, "Oh, I've been waiting for you!" To the agent.

Explaintion: it is the hair dryer that looks like a 357 Magnum, you don't need to pull it out.

Bring an extra bag with you and leave it sitting unattended.  This keeps everyone busy enough to not fool with your bag.

Ride in a wheelchair, they always get through the line first.  Better yet, pay someone to wheel you through the line and leave your brass knuckles in their pocket.

After your strip search walk out of the room proclaiming, "Ask for Carl!  he's got LITTLE hands!"

And to make your trip more enjoyable here is an actual list of items you cannot take through security:
Meat cleavers
Grenades
Cattle prods. (Guess your kids will actually enjoy the trip)
sabers
Brass Knuckles
Tear Gas
Gun lighters

Check your luggage and thank you for flying TSA Security line!