Is That Bear Happy To See Me?

How to act when encountering a bear in the wild:

1.  Walk through the woods letting the bears know you are a human, you can say, "Bear, bear bear."  Or you can sing, "Bare Necessities."

2.  Do NOT look the bear in the eye.  You should not be that close enough.

3.  Explain to her that you are a human, the crap in your pants is not stinky enough to convey this news.

4.  Walk slowly backwards away from the bear.

5.  If everyone else is running, run just a little faster than them.

6.  If you can't run fast enough, simply trip someone next to you.

7.  Take that food you were not supposed to have in your pockets and throw it into the woods or into the pocket of that annoying person in your group.

8.  If you have your bear bells with you, give them to a friend, bears see this is a dinner bell not a bear bell.

9.  Remember to point your bear spray AWAY from your face, it is not easy to run from a bear with pepper spray in your eyes.

Always be prepared when walking in the woods where there are bears near, keep your pepper spray and bear bells handy.  You can tell the bears are near by the bear poop.  Baby bear poop has berries and sticks in it.  Adult bear poop has bear bells in it and smells like pepper spray.

Be safe and bear with me on this one.