How to screw up your life

Everything's going perfect, things are wonderful and of course most people think, gee, I really need to do something to screw my life up so.....

It starts in the younger years, when you've got the apartment, you've got no responsibilities besides work, plenty of time to go out with friends, watch whatever you want on TV, lots of money to spend on cool gadgets and other items YOU like.  Everything seems perfect, the perfect time to screw it up and have kids.  With kids, gone are the times to yourself, hanging out with friends for dinner now happens at Chuck E Cheese not that new trendy restaurant you've read about.  Whatever extra money you had starts with diapers and forumla then as they get older moves from toys, to books to that one single Abercrombie T-shirt that costs how much?  When they are younger, your days of sleeping soundly are over as you sit up all night with babies, or the argument in the middle of the night about who got up with the baby last, then it's the carting them to all the different activities, then settling down to watch SpongeBob or iCarly with them to round out the weekend.

You go through those years, longing at times for those carefree days but never wishing it all would go away, I mean you really can't see your life any other way.  So you go through those years, spending the money, losing the sleep, watching your friends sit and enjoy that trendy restaurant through the window as you continue down to Big Bob's Pizza and Subs.  Finally your children realize that they can sleep in, and all the toys are moving out of your house and you think, "Wow, things are starting to run a little smoother again.  Life seems a little easier, everything is perfect, almost too perfect so you've got to go and screw it up...."

Sitting next to you is that little ball of fur that will start chewing up your shoes, electrical wires, kids stuffed animals.  Something that needs food, and snacks, and vet care.  Something that needs to scratch or lick their balls in the middle of the night while laying on your bed.  Yup, just when you thought it was good, you go and screw it up again....