It starts with the, "Why don't you have kids?" Life is so much sweeter, better, more rewarding, paradise when you add kids to the mix. The lie continues when they say, "Oh labor? Nothing really. I sneezed and had my child, really you'll forget all about it afterwards." Lie! When you've been up for 1 year straight and still have dreams about the 36 hours it took to have the child not to mention the scars from, well, I don't have to tell the FULL truth, you realize - you're in the same boat as them! And they are over at their house chuckling, thinking, ha! Got another one, oh look Hannah looks happy and their marriage seems wonderful, better go work on them.
Once life settles down again, for others, here's another way to help them screw it up. Start sending them adoption notices for local animals. Or while their kids are at home, stop by with a puppy you are fostering from the shelter, and watch as the children work harder than Bernie Maddof in trying to get out of jail on keeping the puppy. Help the kids with, "It's just a little thing, little messes are much easier to clean up. Something this small won't shed that bad." Then laugh with maniacal glee as you leave the animal there - got another one!
If you need more help in screwing other people's lives up more, when the holidays roll around once again, start early, say summer and mention how wonderful it was to invite the entire family to your house for Christmas, the memories of everyone together, the new traditions, how the kids and new dog enjoyed playing with their 45 cousins. Say it with me, "Everyone together and chaos? Nah! Plus you'll forget about it after they leave, and the great memory will be in EVERYONE's mind....."
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