How to get lost in the phone system!

Imagine this with that lovely robotic voice from all the times you’ve called automated services….


“Hello, and welcome to the lost phone call answering service. Let’s get started by getting some basic information. Are you alive or dead?

Alive.

I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you, are you alive or dead?

Alive.

I’m sorry, did you say you were alive?

Alive!

Great, what do you want to do? Say something like: I want to wait forever on the phone, or I don’t have a life that’s why I’m calling, or I’m having a heart attack.

I want to spend the rest of my life on the phone.

I’m sorry did you say you wanted to spend the rest of your life on the phone?

Yes.

Great, then let’s get started. If you want to spend the rest of your life on the phone then we need to schedule a appointment. Do you want to schedule an appointment?

Yes,

I’m sorry, I didn’t get that. Did you want to schedule an appointment?

Yes,

I’m sorry, I didn’t get that, did you want schedule an appointment?

YYYYYYEEEEEESSSSSS!!

OK, great. Then let’s transfer you to appointments. Click, elevator music, click, more elevator music.


Welcome to the elevator music from hell, you’re wait time is……..

16 days, 4 hours and 3 minutes………

Any experiences ladies? Do you have to sound like Conan The Barbarian with those automated systems?