What is that smell?

Babies prepare us for the lifelong job of being a mother.  How?  They prepare our noses:

It starts as an infant - they create the most unbelievable concoctions in their diaper - things you never believed you could smell and actually survive.  This prepares us for:

The leftover crap in the car - specifically the milk they decided to spill in the backseat on your floor mats, so that smell lingers and gets stronger on a hot summer day, which prepares us for:

The lunchbox that sits at the school Lost and Found for 2 weeks with the Thermos of pasta sitting in it

having a party with the water bottle full of apple juice and the cut up pears sitting in the plastic bag.  All of which is opened and put in the dishwasher preparing us for:

The science expermient that sits in the back of the fridge for 6 months, someone's got to guess what it is or what it what, which prepares us for:

The plate of food that ran upstairs and hid itself under their bed for a week, or so they tell you.  As you clean it, it prepares you for:

The tweenie getting in the car after a hot summer day at school, immediately taking their shoes off while reminding you they forgot to wear socks, which prepares you for:

The hormonal child after an extended gym class day in 90 degrees getting into your car, rolling up the windows and turning on the air conditioner, prompting you to have the talk about deodorant, which prepares us for:

Finding a huge pile of clothes sitting on top of the washing machine and wondering if you washed them or they are in need of a wash, with a heavy sigh you know what you need to do to find out, which prepares us for:

Cleaning out the boys bathroom, including scrubbing the toilet that obviously someone has missed and didn't notice.

See it all begins with shit and ends with shit.

The nose knows.

Snot.....

I cannot breathe, my nose is beeping - another term my children use for throbbing.  And it is producing a copious amount of snot.

Isn't that lovely word - snot.  Wikipedia (and we all know that everything is true on the internet) defines snot as a "slang term for nasal mucus."  I'm not sure which sounds worse - snot or mucus?  Either way, if you could make money off of snot, I'd be a millionaire right now.

Did you know there was a band named Snot from 1995-1998?  A group of musicians actually got together and said, "What should we name our band?"

One of them, holding a tissue says, "I don't knowb but my nobe is full of snot."

"Snot!  That's perfect!  We'll be rich and famous."  And so the story goes.

In England, midshipmen were called "snotty?"  I don't know, but with all the work involved with keeping a ship "shipshape," I'd probably feel a little snotty too.

LEGO even had a snotty term, called SNOT.  "Studs not on top" was what it meant, and if you are like me your mind immediately traveled into the gutter now didn't it?

Finally there's how I feel, like the dog Snots on National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - a veritable factory of snot, leaving a white used tissue trail of crumbs so my children can find me in the house when I am deliberately hiding from them.

Snot is meant to trap particles of debris and keep them out of your bodies.  As they dry into boogers, figure that the boogers contain things that you smell during the day.  My son likes to say if you smell a fart then it sits in your boogers, which is why it is a bad idea to eat your boogers.  I like the logic.

So excuse me, I've got a box of Kleenex with my name written all over it.  Do you love or hate snot?