WTF - Mathematics of Life

Here's a few math problems for your What The Friday email:

Johnny as 10 minutes to get out the door to a job interview.  Via forgot to print off his resume.  Johnny is yelling at Via to print off his resume he has to go.

Determine the percentages of each item to equal 100%
a.  The Printer is out of ink.
b.  The Printer is not connected to the network.
c.  Three consecutive paper jams
d.  Johnny and Via divorce.

Maya has one Chateau de Box of Red Wine.  She reads a recipe that calls for red wine as part of the preparation.  There is enough left in Maya's box of wine to perform the recipe.  If Maya does not have another box of wine, how far can she reduce the wine in the recipe to save some for herself?

Hulio and Raolo meet at their 20th High School Reunion.  Hulio is still single and hitting the bar scene.  Raolo is married with 3 children under the age of ten.  Determine the percentage that Hulio and Raolo have anything in common to talk about.

Consuela has 5 bottles of wine.  She drinks 30% of the bottles in hand.  What does Consuela have?

There are 53 candy bars after halloween, if 8 children dive for the leftover candy, how many pieces does each child get?

Bernard has read that used wine can be frozen in ice cubes.  He has found Mia's leftover wine, 1/4 bottle.  How many ice cubes can he make before Mia kicks his butt for using her wine?

Probability - Determine the probability of Vera getting a cold shower if the temperature is 16 degrees, there are 4 people showering ahead of her and 1 dog has rolled in shit.

You are welcome for That Grey Area helping you stretch your brain muscles with REAL WORLD math problems.  What problems would you add?

WTF - Warning Labels

There are signs everywhere in life, things that make you stop and think - Hmmm, other's, like this recurring headache I've had for the past two weeks a subtle hint by my body to start eating clean again, and that yes, dark chocolate is good for your body, just not a whole bar of it in one sitting.



A few signs make me wonder who was the first.

The Preparation H cream - with the big warning that it is not for oral use.

Picture it:

Shirley:  "That botox shot they gave me in my lips, well it was a little bit too much.  I look like I've got two balloons on my face."
Darryl (sitting on the toilet) "Try this, Preparation H stuff, it says it shrinks swollen tissue and provides relief.  Perfect.
Shirley"  "Aw honey, you are always thinking out for me."

Shirley, 15 minutes later looking like she is in a permanent kiss - "Honey, we may need to stop by the urgent care on the way to work."

The next one that comes to mind is the box of Viagra.  It clearly states, "For oral use only"

My imagination gets the best of me again.

Daryl:  "Shirley, did you fill that prescription for Viagra?  We have date night tonight right?'
Shirley:  "Yes, baby.  It's right here in my purse."

15 minutes goes by.

Daryl: "Shirley, I need you in here."

Shirley enters the bathroom, Daryl is standing by the toilet with the open box on the table.

"It doesn't fit."
Shirley looks at him: "What doesn't fit?"
Daryl looked at her like she is stupid, "The pill."
Shirley looks at him like he is stupid, "All you have to do is swallow it.  It can't be that big."
Daryl turns white, "We may need to go to the emergency room.
Shirley looks at him, "It's going to take way too long to take effect in there.  Let me see if I can get it out."

The scary part about all of this is that these warnings are on the boxes FOR A REASON.  There was that first person that sued McDonald's because they were not told the coffee was HOT.  If someone has done it, then some lawyer found out about it and someone paid for it - along with a new warning label. So look at the products you use:

Warning!  Do not hold wrong end of the chainsaw.
Warning!  This medicine is for animal use only - DO NOT use on children.
Warning!  This barbed wire fence contains sharp edges.
Warning!  Do not touch electric fence when turned on.
Warning!  Do not use thermometer orally after using rectally.

We could just let Darwin's theory play itself out.  Just go ahead and take all the warning labels off products and see who survives.

Bet it will be the lawyers.

Have you seen WTF warning labels?