There's a dumb virus going around!

There’s a slight case of dumbness going around right now, and it’s infecting everyone I know and love.  It starts with my friends, I’m in the Supermarket filling up the cart when I run into a friend doing the exact same thing, she smiles at me and says, “Hey, what are you doing here?”

I look at both of our carts full of Lunchables and fruit and boxed wine and reply, “Uh, trying to keep my family from starving?”  What does she think I’m doing?  I’m going to fill this cart up, take it to the checkout then run as fast as I can out of the store?

It moved from my grocery friends onto businesspeople, this was an actual conversation I had when the electric company for a condo I own called me to pay my electric bill.

“Can we update your billing address,” she sounded American on the phone.

I give her my address and phone number, she repeats them back, I say, “Can you tell me how much I owe or can I pay that now?”

She says, “I cannot give out that information to you.”

I’m dumbfounded, “what?  But you just put in my address and telephone number?”

“Yes.”

“But you can’t tell me how much the bill is?”

“I cannot give out that information.”

“But you can mail it to me and I can mail it back?”

“Yes.”

“But I cannot get that information and PAY IT over the phone?”

“Yes.”

Seriously?  Gee, you’re a freaking ELECTRIC COMPANY and I am trying to PAY YOU?  Yes, I’m part of the Terrorist Group - “Let’s pay everyone’s electric bill” Jihadists?  Still waiting on the electric bill in the mail.

Now, it’s infected my family, I tried to keep us Smart with the Wikipedia Sanitizers, the Word of the Day from the Dictionary.  We’re on our way to the mountain for some snowboarding time and my son asks, “Where are we going?”

I look over at him in the car, I want to say, “Hey idiot is there lights on up there,” but I say, “Where do you think?”

He looks dumbfounded.

So I say, “We’re heading to China to visit your cousin, Lauren.”

“Really?”  The one in the back pipes in.

Oh Lord, the dumb virus spread much quicker than I thought, wait, what was I talking about?