Mom's Take on Toddler Basketball Picture

Thanks to Mashable, here is the story Best Picture Evah
This picture made me smile.  As a Mom, I thought I would explain it to you.

Of course, many parents will cherish these types of pictures better than any of the great smiles, perfect pose pictures.

From Left to Right:

Little Girl - "Someone told me there would be ice cream.  I do not see the ice cream truck, anywhere.  Wait, is that a picture of me?  Does my pony tail make my butt look big?"
Little Boy - "Hey, ice cream trucks would be outside, let's go check there.  Run, it will make your butt smaller."
Back Row
Little Boy - "But ice cream trucks are not gluten free!!"
Little Girl - "Don't worry, my Mom always has some gluten free candy in her purse."
Little Girl - "I think my butt looks smaller than hers, she's been eating too much ice cream."
Little Boy - "I was not told ice cream was part of the contract.  I specifically said Gummy Bears."

Front Row:
Little Boy - "I love holding the baseball.  I'm not sure what to do with it, but I love holding it."
Little Girl - "I think I look the part of basketball player, now let me do my favorite pose."
Little Boy - "Where is he going?  Didn't he read the contract it specifically said BOTH ice cream AND Gummy Bears."

Coach - "Why don't you coach a toddler basketball team?  It will be fun they say. Sigh."

I was on Instagram before Instagram was KEWL!

My children are starting to foray into social media.  Explaining to me that Instagram is the way to go, Facebook is for "old people."

I even had one of their friends say, "I deleted my Facebook account when my MOM tried to friend me!"

No, not a butt shot but Instagram worth, don't you think?

Oh my God, your Mom is on Facebook?  She really has a life she wants to share with the world? Oh wait, she's just a Mom, that person that takes care of you, not a real person.

Oh please, I've been on Instagram since, well, almost before you were born.  I was already on before Instagram was COOL or as the kids say KEWL!  How did I learn about this social media site before everyone else?  Unknowingly!

You see I had a rash on well, um, a place that is vampire white due to lack of sun.  And I couldn't see it in the mirror no matter which way I turned.  So I had a great idea, I'd take a picture of it with my phone, then save it so I can compare in a week after using a certain medicated cream.  Easy peasy, right?

I took the picture, examined it with my glasses on, turned the phone different ways, figuring it wasn't as bad as I thought and saved the picture.

Then my phone told me I had a new comment on my picture.  A new comment?  On what picture?

I clicked on the notification, and three of my friends had already commented on my rash picture that was saved automatically to Instagram.

"Ewwww!"

"Did you go see the dermatologist?"

"WTH?

Luckily, I only had 6 friends on Instagram, and they were good friends.  I was able to delete the picture, keeping them as friends.  One showed me the "do not automatically share" button on my phone, and voila!  My Instagram account, that I didn't know I had, was created, already linked to Facebook and Twitter.  Wow, this internet thing sure is easy.

So I got into Instagram before everyone else thought it was cool.  And I made my profile private making sure if I accidentally post another picture of my Bum, it's to my friends only.  And now with the children getting into it, it is all about the likes.  How many likes your picture got.

"Mom, you only got 14 likes on your picture.  You need more friends."

Well, my likes are "real" likes, they are people I actually know.  And I have enough drama in my life, I really don't need any more friends.  And really, who is defined by how many "likes" they received on their picture?

I wonder how many likes that first picture would get today?  

Let me go see if I can find it.

WTF - Tag You're It!

So I'm happily stalking all my friends on Facebook, when all of a sudden a red notification button appears.

"So and So has tagged you in a photo."

Oh.

No.

Immediately my mind goes back to what I did last night.

I was cool.  I think.  Nothing crazy.

Oh wait, I was dancing, wasn't I?

Immediately I go to the picture.  Hoping it was not from the night before because, and I have to pull all the cuss words out of what I was saying to myself, "I wasn't wearing the most flattering outfit benefitting a picture of tagment on the Book of Face."

My computer sensing my discomfort that there is some picture out there in the stratosphere of me that I cannot get to, immediately decides that my wireless router will not work when I am just pulling up the picture that has my name screaming all over the internet.

NOOOOOO!!

I have to go and reboot the router.  Wait the agonizing 15 seconds to replug it in, wondering if I should just jump on the hot spot of my phone because....

God, what is the picture and what I am doing???????

I am praying the it is some inspirational prayer about trees and nothing to worry about.  But only I know what I have been doing with my friends lately, and I cannot tell you how many of them have smart phones.

They mean well.

"Oh look, here's a picture of Kelly in the 176 pictures I uploaded from Alex's 2nd version of his 15th birthday party."

No one thinks before they tag, important things like:

Well, doesn't Kelly look like a fat cow in this one.
Oh look, Kelly's boobs are falling out of her shirt, is that a nipple I see?
Wait a minute, is that a donkey behind Kelly, who's tongue is, in the picture, in a very appropriate place.
Who is that girl standing inappropirately close to Kelly and why is she staring at her like that.

No, they go ahead and load a photo, tag me in it and don't think of the consequences.



Finally, the router comes back online, now I have to wait for the computer to catch up.  Facebook is like, "Oh I'm sorry, is this important to you?  Well, we've changed our algorhythms so that you cannot see it!"

I'm searching wondering if the one time my friend took her phone into the bathroom at that bar resulted in the photo, when the photo finally pops up.

Oh, wait.  Look it's one from when I am seventeen.

Dayum, I look pretty hot.

And skinny.

And when did I have those legs.

All that worry over nothing.  I guess I'll leave the tag.

Just as I sigh in relief, a second notification pops up on my screen.

Nicole Morgan has tagged you in a photo.

Oh shit, she lives in South Florida.

It could be a bathing suit photo.

Facebook says, "Oh, now is the perfect time to SLLLOOOOWWWW DDDOOOWWWNNN."

Happy Summer Solstice! What are you doing today?

Today is the longest day of summer, and spending time with 6 kids I think there will be a few more nights that seem LONGER!  Since this is the official start to summer here's a few fun things you can do with your kids to celebrate the day:

1.  Stand that egg on end, some say it's only Spring Solstice, some say Summer, some say you can do it any day of the year.  Why not try this trick to Wow them before they think you're uncool as you move into Middle School.

2.  Do the Summer Solstice Dance.  The pagans used to dance around bonfires, believing the higher they jumped over the flames, the taller their crops would grow.  Some did it clothed some did it naked.  You can scare your children into submission by dancing tonight naked or you can scare them with your dance moves fully clothed.  Either way dance like nobody's watching and scare them anyway.

3.  Today is the day where the Arctic Circle has 24 hours of daylight.  Celebrate in your home by turning the air all the way down, every light on and keeping your kids up 24 hours - better yet, just pass that one by.

4.  Just say Oohm - you can bring your children to a Summer Solstice Yoga Practice and watch as their limber limbs compete against your old creaky ones.  Nothing like watching everyone fall as they switch from Downward Dog into Plank to Crocodile and up to Cobra.

5.  Be one with the day - sure it's the longest day of the summer, celebrate with all the traditions of summer - go find some fireflies, walk through fields with flashlights, sit and tell ghost stories.

Make summertime fun so that rather than feeling like every day is the longest day of summer but the days are simply flying by!  Happy Summer Solstice!